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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How would you feel about a Friday evening hen?

22 replies

Plickton · 21/03/2025 12:23

So I am planning my SILs hen night as her MOH. I have a few ideas but I’ve just found a way to watch one of her favourite artists at a non rip off price. My idea would be food, gig and after party drinks. But just hesitant to basically tell our friends they need to take a day off. Or the afternoon. We’re talking top tier artist though.

Then again plenty of people make their hens take a weekend off. I’ve been to few where they started on Friday. What do you think? Not insisting everyone flies abroad either which is obviously far more of an imposition.

OP posts:

Singleaftermarriage · 21/03/2025 12:25

Depends on her friends. I am a teacher so unless in the holidays, me and alot of people I would want to attend won't be able to

GCAcademic · 21/03/2025 12:27

I've also been to a few hen weekends that started on a Friday and a significant number of people were only able to come late on the Friday, or on the Saturday. Whether people can take the day off will depend on the job they do, and on whether they have other priorities for their limited annual leave.

Mrsttcno1 · 21/03/2025 12:28

Why don’t you just suggest it as an option and see what responses you get?

It does really depend on the people, their lives & their jobs- also depends when it is. For me, while I wouldn’t mind taking a days annual leave to attend I’ve also got a young child so I’d not only have to get my annual leave approved but my husband would also need the day off to look after our daughter, which could be more complicated depending on how much notice you’re giving.

I have friends who wouldn’t mind at all and would love the chance for a long weekend but as PP says I also have friends who are teachers & others who can’t take the time off.

ByWildLimeCat · 21/03/2025 12:29

I’ve been to plenty of Friday - Sunday hen dos. With enough notice I think it’s fine! Some people can’t go until after work, so maybe keep that in mind but most were able to come for the whole thing.

TheChosenTwo · 21/03/2025 12:30

I would be okay with it - I have friends that couldn’t take the leave, friends that save all their leave for school holidays, friends that would be okay to take an afternoon off…
You’re never going to please everyone!
At least the event starts late in the evening so potentially depending on the logistics, some might be able to make it without booking leave at all. They may miss the meal though.

Original poster

Plickton · 21/03/2025 12:32

Im worried if I go with this idea im only doing a very short hen. What do you think? And the bride might be disappointed it’s not a whole day thing.

OP posts:

Crabwoman · 21/03/2025 12:34

Very much depends on the group and their employment/leave requirements. If there are teachers etc then they wouldn't be able to take the day off. I work flexibility, but every so often I have a statutory deadline on a Friday so I have to be in work.

Ask the group and see what the feedback is.

varden · 21/03/2025 12:36

Short hen - great, weekends on the piss are a total pain and logistics can be tough, not to mention the expense of it all.

One thing I would say is that going to see an artist perform is not a universal "like" for many. I know Bridie likes them, but what if no one else does?

I'd do a Saturday all day into the night, close by so people don't have to stay over. Something with a bit of fun attached and great dinner, drinks and dancing. Perfect. Taxis home.

But I don't go to hens anymore because I'm old and hate the bloody things, and they cost far far too much for many people both in cash and time.

Maitri108 · 21/03/2025 12:42

Take the day off work and pay for a gig, dinner and drinks?

Just go to a club, get pissed and drink out of penis straws.

Original poster

Plickton · 21/03/2025 12:43

Maitri108 · 21/03/2025 12:42

Take the day off work and pay for a gig, dinner and drinks?

Just go to a club, get pissed and drink out of penis straws.

Bride doesn’t like clubs

OP posts:

SJM1988 · 21/03/2025 12:44

I'd take the friday off but most hen's involve taking a fri or mon off that I have been too.

As a bride I might be a bit disappointment at not having an overnighter somewhere though - could you make it into a overnight in a spa hotel or something and following day a spa day?

Jennifershuffles · 21/03/2025 12:47

I feel fine about it, hen.

Totally misread this in my mind as being a Scottish enquiry about general feelings on Fridays

HoldingTheDoor · 21/03/2025 12:47

Jennifershuffles · 21/03/2025 12:47

I feel fine about it, hen.

Totally misread this in my mind as being a Scottish enquiry about general feelings on Fridays

Likewise.

SunintheFun · 21/03/2025 12:48

I’d message the proposed guest list and get the general consensus. Really depends on the people.

If the general consensus if that too tricky could a few of you do that anyway as a warm up then do the “main” hen on the Saturday?

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 21/03/2025 12:55

What day is the wedding? I wouldn’t want to take AL for the hen and wedding

Annascaul · 21/03/2025 13:03

Is it in a different city? Why the need for a day off, if it’s an evening event?

Coffeeishot · 21/03/2025 13:09

Plickton · 21/03/2025 12:32

Im worried if I go with this idea im only doing a very short hen. What do you think? And the bride might be disappointed it’s not a whole day thing.

It's food/gig/pub why would she be dissapointed?

If you let the rest of the friends know in plenty of time they can arrange time off.

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 21/03/2025 13:10

Are all the guests local?
What's the start time?
Any plans for the day after?
Does everyone like the artist?
You mention non-ripoff prices - what's the difference between Friday and another date?

I'd actually hate to have my friends come to a gig I liked, as they wouldn't be having fun.

Would it work to have the gig on the Friday for those who want it, but more events on the Saturday (meal and games)?

andyouwillknowusbythetrailofdead · 21/03/2025 13:23

Plickton · 21/03/2025 12:32

Im worried if I go with this idea im only doing a very short hen. What do you think? And the bride might be disappointed it’s not a whole day thing.

No one actually wants a whole day thing unless they're a bridezilla with a princess complex.

AirborneElephant · 21/03/2025 13:30

It sounds great to me if it is an artist she loves. Some people won’t be able to come until the evening, so just make sure that part is something special as well. Maybe a supper club or a private room somewhere if she doesn’t like clubbing. Or as others have suggested a night at a hotel with some hangover reliving spa stuff the next day.

HuffleMyPuffle · 21/03/2025 13:36

Would it involve travelling to a different city? People might be able to join at different points.

Is it an artist that everyone would actually want to see?

Row23 · 21/03/2025 13:40

If you’re all mostly local then I think I’d do the Friday evening as you and the bride, plus the other bridesmaids to go for a meal / to the gig. Then you can all stay in a hotel or airb&b as a small group which will work nicely for logistics.
Then on the Saturday arrange a brunch with all the other people the bride wants at her hen do and then maybe an activity in the afternoon? If you stayed in an airb&b you could have a sort of open invite in the evening for a takeaway and pamper evening. That way anyone who couldn’t make the Friday would still be able to join in for a bit chunk of the hen do on the Saturday. People who have young children wouldn’t have to stay late on the Saturday night. And the bride gets a whole weekend of activities / overnight stay somewhere which feels special.

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