Granddaughter’s friend braking grandson’s toys!

[TheSnappyMauveCat]

So I’m currently looking after my grandchildren whilst their mum and dad are in London until tomorrow and yesterday evening my granddaughter, 10, had a friend round and at some point during the visit she went into my grandson’s, 12, room and broke some of his toys. She snapped off some of his wheels on his cars and snapped the arms off some of his action figures. My granddaughter was in the room with her but she didn’t say anything. I’m absolutely fuming at both of them and I sent her to bed early last night for not telling her to stop or telling me. I was wondering whether to go down to their friend’s house and giving her mum a piece of my mind or whether to leave it for my daughter (her mum) to sort out when she gets back. Would it be better for me to stay out of it or confront it with the girl’s mum today whilst their children are at school?

If you do go, go calmly and drop the idea of confronting or give her a piece of your mind. Explain exactly what happened calmly and how disappointed you are with both girls but it was her DD that actually caused the damage.

What exactly do you mean by 'confront' and 'give her a piece of your mind' I can't see either of those having any sort of constructive outcome

Under no circumstances do you give the mum a piece of your mind! Nor do you confront her. Honestly!

If that is your attitude, definitely stay out of it and let the parents decide what to do.

Personally I’d speak to the parents yes. I would keep emotion out of it, don’t go all guns blasting, but yes explain what happened. Ideally you’re after an apology and replacement for the broken toys.

How did you find out who did it?

If you go there saying that the friend did it and the friend blames your granddaughter what will you do?

I would wait for the parents to deal with it, they know the friend's parents and the child better and are better placed to handle the fallout in a way that suits them going forward.

Calmly let the parents know but you have to calm down first.

No, don't be cross with your grand daughter, it isn't her fault. She might feel intimidated by the friend or she might not want to be a 'tell tale.' Don't go and speak to the friends parents, either.

In short, stay out of it. Just tell your daughter and let her deal with it however she feels fit (if if was me, I would just buy replacements). None of this is to excuse this girls behaviour which was very bad. I just wouldn't have her over to play again, or if I did, they would not be allowed in grandsons room (they should not be going in there, anyway).

How do you know it was the friend?