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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say to DH that our 2 year old shouldn’t be doing this activity?

169 replies

Yeqpll · 21/03/2025 08:50

DH has booked a lovely trip for us. He does minimal parenting day to day due to work and i can tell he’s booked nice lunches and activities to make an effort

Last night he informed me he’d booked a boat trip for 1.5 hours, for today. We are in the UK so this will be a windy and choppy event and it is open to the elements. I think DS is going to be extremely bored after 15 mins.

My main concern however is that DS is not yet potty trained and obviously there’s nowhere to change him on board.

I feel strongly this is a bad idea but maybe I’m being dramatic… thoughts very welcome!!

OP posts:
BarbaricYawp · 21/03/2025 11:09

I'd be concerned about safety, sea sickness and boredom/crying (me, lol) and I think toilets/nappies would be the least of it tbh. But I'd also be quite surprised if a 2-year-old was allowed on board so maybe you're worrying prematurely.

Bromptotoo · 21/03/2025 11:10

We took our daughter from Mull to Staffa and back by boat well before she was two. She loved it.

I cannot remember if she needed a nappy change on either the boat or the island but either way we'd just have put her down on a mat and done it. She was used to being changed wherever was available; the vestibule of a train with no change facilities on more than one occasion.

MidlandsWoman · 21/03/2025 11:18

I remember doing this with my parents when I was about that age. I loved it.

ilovesushi · 21/03/2025 11:24

Does that mean you don't do any activity where changing facilities are not immediately accessible? That sounds incredibly limiting. Is it not highly unlikely that he'll poo in that one small window of time?

MyDeftDuck · 21/03/2025 11:31

Go and enjoy it.....how many times does a child need changing in 90 minutes?

JackieQueen · 21/03/2025 11:32

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 21/03/2025 09:02

What 2 year old wouldn’t love a boat trip?? I on the other hand would be throwing up in minutes 😭.

Ooh god, yeah me too, just the thought of it makes me feel queasy! 😂 Have a lovely day, OP ⛵

PretendToBeToastWithMe · 21/03/2025 11:40

I’m shocked at the number of posts telling you to take a 2 year old on a 90 minute boat ride, I imagine that will be hard work and not enjoyable at all.

I took my daughter on a 30 minute boat ride when she was that age, it was hard work and horrible and I couldn’t wait to get off. About 5 minutes in she’d had enough and wanted the life jacket off, just moaned and cried the rest of the journey. The “novelty” of being on a boat meant nothing to her! I would ask him to cancel to be honest that’s not going to be fun for anyone.

rosemarble · 21/03/2025 11:50

Is it something like a trip to see the seals? I've taken toddlers on those - they allow all ages. They have the right size life jackets and take safety very seriously.
Do you not trust your husband to have taken his son's safety into consideration?
I think the average toddler wouldn't be bored, but they might get bit battered by the weather so take way more than you might think. You'll be able to act as a windbreak being much bigger.

Annettecurtaintwitcher · 21/03/2025 11:50

Also bit surprised by all those saying go for it, have they actually tried it themselves? 90 mins with a small, scared, seasick child is not going to be fun. If it is choppy I really would not go. Being on the sea is very different to a river or lake trip which I would have no problem with for a 2 year old.

category12 · 21/03/2025 11:52

PretendToBeToastWithMe · 21/03/2025 11:40

I’m shocked at the number of posts telling you to take a 2 year old on a 90 minute boat ride, I imagine that will be hard work and not enjoyable at all.

I took my daughter on a 30 minute boat ride when she was that age, it was hard work and horrible and I couldn’t wait to get off. About 5 minutes in she’d had enough and wanted the life jacket off, just moaned and cried the rest of the journey. The “novelty” of being on a boat meant nothing to her! I would ask him to cancel to be honest that’s not going to be fun for anyone.

Eh, it could go either way.

Depends on your two year old and probably depends on their mood that day even 😁

My kids loved that sort of thing when they were little. We saw seals - and they were even impressed by seagulls. 😂

pinkyredrose · 21/03/2025 11:55

Why does your husband do minimal parenting and why isn't DC potty trained?

Anyway the obvious solution is to go on the boat trip and if a nappy change is needed then husband can do it.

ProfessionalPirate · 21/03/2025 11:55

Easterbunnygettingsorted · 21/03/2025 08:57

You've never changed a nappy on your lap? Wow...
Snacks op. And a drink. . Have fun.

I’ve never changed a nappy on my lap I’m happy to say!

Actually it’s not the nappies that would put me off this. One of the most harrowing memories of my early parenting life was taking my then 18mo on a similar sounding trip. It was 90 mins of hell as she proceeded to climb the railings, hassle the other passengers and winge. She couldn’t sit still for that length of time and wanted to wander about, but it wasn’t safe to do so as the boat was rocking too much. There was very little to see once we were out at sea so she was bored. She’s not even a particularly hyperactive child, in fact for her age I would say she was pretty placid.

So from me OP it’s a YANBU.

ForAzureSeal · 21/03/2025 11:59

Tiswa · 21/03/2025 08:59

What is the safety situation?

do they even allow a 2 year old. The way you describe it doesn’t sound safe for a toddler and I am not sure I would be happy if I was running it

I think this is the key thing. I remember when mine were younger I wanted to do a boat trip but they only allowed children from age 8! But if the trip allows toddlers and has no other safety advice then I don't think the nappy situation should be the only reason you don't go.

Sinkintotheswamp · 21/03/2025 12:01

pink he's 2. It's not a race to potty train. And it's easier to do in the summer or when both parents are around anyway.

rosemarble · 21/03/2025 12:03

pinkyredrose · 21/03/2025 11:55

Why does your husband do minimal parenting and why isn't DC potty trained?

Anyway the obvious solution is to go on the boat trip and if a nappy change is needed then husband can do it.

I am hoping OP meant that she does more of the day to day childcare because her DH is at work. "Minimal" seems quite negative, when it might just mean "less".

Many (most?) just 2 year olds are not yet toilet trained. More are as you reach 3, but there are also plenty of 3 yos still in nappies. It's not unusual.

GRex · 21/03/2025 12:08

PretendToBeToastWithMe · 21/03/2025 11:40

I’m shocked at the number of posts telling you to take a 2 year old on a 90 minute boat ride, I imagine that will be hard work and not enjoyable at all.

I took my daughter on a 30 minute boat ride when she was that age, it was hard work and horrible and I couldn’t wait to get off. About 5 minutes in she’d had enough and wanted the life jacket off, just moaned and cried the rest of the journey. The “novelty” of being on a boat meant nothing to her! I would ask him to cancel to be honest that’s not going to be fun for anyone.

They're all different. My DS loves all transport. By 2 he'd been on 4 types of boat as well as trains, buses etc. Stick him in a restaurant with pencils and he'd be climbing the walls with boredom, but outside with a view and he'd be delighted. I still remember a flat we rented on holiday at just under 2 with a view of train, road and sea (with boats), he hung out happily by the window the whole time and begged us to stay there forever. Maybe OP's kid only likes drawing and will be the opposite, but it's worth a try.

MrsSkylerWhite · 21/03/2025 12:10

We had a little boat when we lived on the Cornish coast. Our 2 year old daughter loved it.

DeclineandFall · 21/03/2025 12:14

That sounds like a nightmare for us. I would've been sick. Ds would've been sick. He would've shouting to get out from 10 minutes in and I would've been toddler wrangling him for the rest of the time while he cried. Stressing myself and any other passengers. He was always trying to leave wherever he was to go somewhere else.

Bbq1 · 21/03/2025 12:17

Took my ds (he was a bit older, about 5)on what I thought was a lovely trip one year in Whitby. Dh waited for is as he doesn't have good sea legs. Water was choppy once we got further out. Within a couple of minutes poor ds turned green and spent the remainder of the trip vomiting over the side. I felt so sad and sorry for him. I literally couldn't wait to get him and myself back on terra firma! If you think your toddler will enjoy it, sit relatively still and is unlikely to be sick, go for it.

Bellaphant · 21/03/2025 12:18

Im surprised this is allowed: there is a very calm lake near us and they were really clear that we couldn't take my daughter, then 2, on anything till she was 3, but even then, as she was small, she still may be below the height/weight requirements for the life jackets, etc.

Bbq1 · 21/03/2025 12:18

So basically Op if ds isn't a good traveller, becautious.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 21/03/2025 12:22

Easterbunnygettingsorted · 21/03/2025 08:57

You've never changed a nappy on your lap? Wow...
Snacks op. And a drink. . Have fun.

I never did with DS, just never figured out how to manage it with him. We're not all the same!

GRex · 21/03/2025 12:24

Bellaphant · 21/03/2025 12:18

Im surprised this is allowed: there is a very calm lake near us and they were really clear that we couldn't take my daughter, then 2, on anything till she was 3, but even then, as she was small, she still may be below the height/weight requirements for the life jackets, etc.

There are life jackets that are suitable from 3kg up. The boat company might not have life jackets in the correct size, or might only be insured from age 3, or their particular boat and route might be unsuitable for a small child, or whatever... but your one boat trip not being suitable for a 2yo does not mean that no boat trip is suitable for a 2yo.

Bearbookagainandagain · 21/03/2025 12:24

It depends very much on the boat and the child. I wouldn't take my 2 toddlers together, even with both of us, but I'd take one.
Even then there is probably that phase - around 2 - where they don't stand in place and it would be a pain. My little girl is right into it at the moment at 21 months. We struggle to keep her safe on a 10 min bus ride, so a 90 min boat trip would be a nightmare!

But if that's not the case for you, then I don't understand the issue. Changing a nappy on a bench or the floor with a mat (or a towel if you don't have a portable mat) will be fine.
And if it wasn't safe, they wouldn't let you on the boat in the first place.

Scirocco · 21/03/2025 12:27

Annettecurtaintwitcher · 21/03/2025 11:50

Also bit surprised by all those saying go for it, have they actually tried it themselves? 90 mins with a small, scared, seasick child is not going to be fun. If it is choppy I really would not go. Being on the sea is very different to a river or lake trip which I would have no problem with for a 2 year old.

Yes, I've taken DC on boats, on the sea, at 1yo and 2yo. So has my DH - separately and together as a whole family. For quite a few people, boats are a fairly normal method of transport, and it's quite normal in some places to see babies and toddlers on them.

DC has loved being on smaller boats, open-top boats, rowing boats, bigger boats. No seasickness experienced so far, and lots of interest in the environment around them.

It's important to follow safety guidance and any rules from the company responsible for the trip/activity, eg minimum age/height/weight, life jacket, supervision levels. If the company says it's fine and parents think the child will get something positive from it, why not give it a try?

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