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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No RSVPs to kiddos party

17 replies

Parteepooper · 21/03/2025 07:13

(Well not many)

We’re having a soft play party for our 4 year old and sent 20 invites to the other kids are preschool… we’ve only had 4 rsvps. It’s the first time we’ve done a party like this. Do people tend to just show up without rsvp-ing or is silence to be taken as a no? just concerned about how many to cater for.

No interesting back story - our kid isn’t a horror and I’m not the witch of the school gates (to my knowledge!). Party is over Easter so we assumed that some people might be away but we’re surprised no one has contacted us to decline.

thanks!

OP posts:
Pillarsofsalt · 21/03/2025 07:14

People are disorganised and a bit shit. Chase them up for replies.

Pinkandcake · 21/03/2025 07:14

When did you send them out? And what’s the RSPV date?

arcticpandas · 21/03/2025 07:19

Give out a second invitation to those who haven't responded stating that "we need an answer before x date. After that date it will not be possible to attend since we are informing the sofplay of number of participants and can't cater to spontaneous guests"

GRex · 21/03/2025 07:21

It's really rude. We had similar though not quite as bad; chase-ups led to lots of replies. We still had 6 non replies in the end; two of those children told DS they were coming and 1 did come. Do you have a lot of parents from overseas who perhaps think they reply only if they are attending? (That was our conclusion, given the 6 were all from 2 nationalities.)

If you get no more replies, I would assume no more than 8 coming in total.

Fagli · 21/03/2025 07:22

Easter is a month away! We haven’t even planned our Easter yet! What was the RSVP date?

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 21/03/2025 07:24

No it’s not normal, you need to cause for replies. Text them or grab them at the school gate I’m afraid. People do forget, but I would have expected a response from half at least. Do you have a class WhatsApp- that makes it easier

Moonnstars · 21/03/2025 07:25

How were the invites handed out? Directly by you to parents or to the nursery to put in book bags? There is the possibility some parents won't have seen them.
If you know who the parents are then I would speak to them at the gate, you could just mention the party and you weren't sure if they had seen the invite and if they had been handed out, that way they can either be truthful and say they hadn't seen anything or maybe if forgetful either say yes sorry they haven't replied but it's a yes (or maybe just pretend they hadn't seen it yet and will either give you an answer then or do a pretend look in book bag later that day and reply to say they found the invite).

1stWorldProblems · 21/03/2025 07:32

We found paper invites often got forgotten about in book bags & parents didn't see them. So first check how they were given out / when. We also started using FB Event invites once we had a school online community / or use the class WhatsApp
On top of that, some parents just don't rsvp which is hopeless on my opinion since there are now so many ways to say yes or no.

justkeepswimingswiming · 21/03/2025 07:36

We had this! Barely anyone replied so I invited some more kids to make up the numbers, until
the day before and then suddenly I got loads of texts saying they were coming… even had kids randomly turn up on the day!
Was rather annoying as we had to pay per head and had budgeted it all by then! I swore next time we do a party I’d just book a hall.

Katemax82 · 21/03/2025 07:53

Not really the same but I sent out 12 invites for my sons 12th birthday party at his SEN school just before half term. NOT ONE REPLIED!! Turns out autistic tweens don't tend to show their mums stuff like that. Especially just before half term. On the day of the party I started getting mums and dads contacting me saying they only just got the invite..in the end bearly everyone made it to the party

SpookyGiraffe · 21/03/2025 07:58

I think it's possibly just a bit early yet.

We're having a soft play party this weekend for my DD's 5th birthday, sent invites out last month with an RSVP date of last week (just so I could confirm numbers). I got a couple of RSVPs in the first week but they've dribbled in over the last couple of weeks, with most coming in over the last couple weeks, and we've now got 20 kids coming (out of 30), I've also caught some parents at the school gates who told me verbally that they hadn't had chance to respond yet but they are coming.

People probably just don't know their plans for Easter yet so want to wait to confirm.

InvisibilityCloakActivated · 21/03/2025 08:01

Send a chaser and ask people to confirm by a certain date

Bleurghel · 21/03/2025 08:01

Yeah, people are disorganised. You need to give them a date to reply by. Do you have their numbers? I'd message and politely say could they please reply by X date as you need to confirm numbers with the soft play.

greylamp · 21/03/2025 08:06

I saw someone give advice on here before which always stuck in my head- she used to give out party invites with the date and time but no location. Then the people who did RSVP were told the location- think the idea of it was to stop people just turning up with no warning to the birthday child’s parents. Hope I explained that well enough!

Marmite27 · 21/03/2025 08:07

We have an Easter birthday, and most people go away. We’ve learned to do parties before they break up, or after they go back.

Fuzzypinetree · 21/03/2025 08:36

At DCs school, you just set up a WhatsApp group with all of the parents of the children you are inviting. Means you can be certain they are getting the invite and they can RSVP through the group. Much easier...

FinallyHere · 21/03/2025 08:52

id want to know how the invitations were given out and what date you set for rsvp, before making any suggestions.

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