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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH always telling DS to shut up

2 replies

SpottyDottyMoon · 20/03/2025 20:50

DS (youngest) is autistic (on the severe end) and vocally stims very loudly. If he is enjoying an activity like twirling or spinning something he shouts or screams loudly. He enjoys spinning tops or toys where you press a button over and over. He screams whilst doing this. He’s extremely loud however DH regularly tells him to “shut up” (example - made up name - Freddy Shut up!)

Hes not deliberately shouting or doing it to piss off DH, he’s more like a big 2 year old who is non verbal. It’s his way of communicating and I find DH telling him to shut up is so disrespectful. DS now goes around saying SHU UP SHU UP SHU UP as he hears it so often.

I’ve told H not to talk to him like that but he won’t listen.
I understand he screeches and it’s so difficult to hold a conversation or listen to TV etc but there’s other ways of saying it like Shh or QUIET etc.

Our oldest now is copying his dad and regularly tells his brother to shut up which is sad 😢

OP posts:
ChaliceinWonderland · 20/03/2025 20:52

Oh how sad, he'll start repeating this at school.
Tell your dh to shut up too. Or maybe send him on a parenting course.

Crazycatlady79 · 20/03/2025 21:25

In my family - we are all Neurodivergent - "shut up" is synonymous with "be quiet"; it's not meant rudely per se.
Thus, I think YABU.

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