Friend having a birthday party that guests are paying for

[ThingsForBingToddler]

DD’s friend is in primary school.

We were invited to the birthday party and I was really shocked to see I had to pay!

The party invite said parents were encouraged to stay. So I did and so did most other mums and one dad. The party was at a fried chicken shop (this particular one is very ‘in’ with the year group for some reason, it’s a Chicken George franchise thing that has a few shops within 50 miles of each other).

Anyway, Mum announced ‘if everyone wants to go and place their orders, I’ve already done Milly’s’

I went up thinking it was prepaid and got charged. One mum asked the birthday mum if this was correct because she had no cash, and she said yes. Another mum paid for her.

After the chicken, we went to an ice cream shop. Again, the mum ordered for her own child and then got everyone else to buy.

AIBU to say this is strange? And if you’re going to do it, you tell people beforehand? So they aren’t taken by surprise and have the money ready

The birthday invite was a proper one and had chicken wings in a cartoon font, making us all think it was hired out for that exact use

After the desserts, she suggested we go bowling but most of us made our excuses and didn’t go. I genuinely had to leave for childcare reasons but felt a bit sad for the birthday girl

Forgot to add, I spent about £30 all in and my daughter is a very small eater

How is any of that a party?!

Nope a CF! I bet no one will go to that kids parties again in future. Feel sorry for the girl.

I would be ragging. Yeah not at all a party.

Like you said others should have been warned beforehand

Only reasonable of you were told in advance

I know. It was really strange

A girl in the class is having a swim party next week. Hopefully the poor birthday girl of today won’t see how utterly miserable her party was in comparison, filled with all those confused parents!

Thats not a party, thats just people eating in the same place at the same time
I appreciate that the Mum shouldn't have to pay for adults but the invitees should have their meals covered

What happened to the kids whose parents didn’t stay? Did they just not eat?

Sounds boring and in rude - fine if given advance warning but you expect a kids party to be catered

It was all a bit odd and I’m not sure for everyone. There were about 3 of those children - I know 1 of them was paid for by someone else I know there

I assume the birthday girls’s mum covered the other 2?

Never heard of anything like that. It's not a birthday party at all! Has she (the mum) never been to one? Very weird. Now you know so just say no to playdates or parties with this mum.

I assume you all brought gifts?
I have never heard of such a thing.
Way to go to cause gossip.
I know a few children in my daughters class never had a party as the mums said they had no interest, which is fair enough. They also felt the same about playdates.

Wow! That is weird, and cheeky into the bargain! What if a parent had left their child alone at the 'party', how would they have had anything to eat?

If she'd sent an invite saying, something along the lines of: 'It's Susie's birthday on (date), times are tight, so I'm afraid we're having to ask parents to pay for their child's meal, but Susie would love Jenny to join us and her other friends, in celebrating at Chicken George's, on (date & time), then everyone would have known the score, and would either have made their excuses, or come along prepared to pay. Sadly, it appears that this may be a sign of the times.

After the chicken, we went to an ice cream shop. Again, the mum ordered for her own child and then got everyone else to buy.
How far from the chicken shop was this? How would parents know where to pick them up from?

Very odd, did people have to pay for their bowling also?

Heard it all now.
A kids party in a fried chicken shop, which everyone had to pay for their own food?!
How old are the children?
Sounds nuts.

How old were the children?
This sounds more like an informal get together rather than a proper party. Did they actually do anything for the birthday girl or was it just everyone ordering food for themselves?

8

We all sang Happy Birthday at the desserts place

Before she ordered her daughter the dessert, she announced she was going up to order her daughters desserts about 3 times…

Almost as if she thought someone would stop her and say ‘no, I’ll buy it!’

Did the parents provide a cake? Play games?

Have they been to parties before?
If they had taken people bowling beforehand and paid for this then fair enough perhaps asking people to buy their own food (if they had told people this beforehand) but it sounds like there was nothing really to suggest it was a party.

Definitely should have informed people upfront. Once my dd went to secondary paying for yourself was expected, but I found it odd and usually covered everyone.

Edited as wrong thread