Just blew up at my husband in front of son and feeling like shit for it

[TaupeCrab]

My husband recently started doing this thing where whenever I ask him something or tell him he needs to do something (for example get ready for leaving the house), he'll reply "stop shouting". That's all he says. I'm perfectly calm and in no way raising my voice or even changing my tone. I've asked him several times to stop this. It massively triggers me from issues I've had in the past. Although he knows about these issues, I haven't explained to him that's why I want him to stop.

Anyway he did it tonight and I asked him to stop. He then did it again about something separate and I fucking blew up at him. It was in front of our 9 year old son and I feel terrible. I was shouting and hyperventilating crying. Not a pretty sight. I feel like such a dick.

If you are in a healthy relationship you will be able to discuss this and he would listen and stop the behaviour knowing it is hurting you. If you can't do that at best your relationship is disfunctional at worst abusive. My abusive ex used to do this but only when I was standing up to him, like once blocking the bedroom door because he wanted to scream at our kids and then he was shouting to stop yelling at him and that he wasn't going to put up with being treated that way.