Myself & DH are parents to 3 disabled teenagers;they are all neurodivergent and there are some physical disabilities too.
I have to work;we currently can’t afford for me to stay home full time to be a housewife/full time parent.Our outgoings should be fairly low and we should be able to live off DH’s salary but we can’t as he’s racked up a eye watering amount of debt after going behind my back and attempting to set up a business alongside his FT job that was a disaster;he took out 3 credit cards and a loan,the business crashed and burned,he initially lied about how he was funding it.
He also lied and duped me into handing over 2.5 K I had saved for private medical care for one of my children that would have benefitted said child massively; when I asked for the money back he confessed that he couldn’t pay it back and that he was in an huge amount of debt.I don’t think I’ll ever see that money again and my child has gone without that treatment,before anyone asks yes he knew what I had saved that money for.
I work 3 days a week,sometimes 4.I work weekends so that he can cover some childcare;he hates this and complains about having to spend all of his days off doing childcare however I’ve pointed out that I also spend all of my days off doing childcare
One of my teenagers is on a long distance learners course with college due to their health/disability so is normally home during school hours and on a bad day can’t physically do anything for themselves right down to going to the toilet unaided so I don’t get a break during school hours.
I also do at 90% of the pet care,mental load,emotional labour,cooking,cleaning,laundry,shopping etc on a weekly basis however it’s often more than 90% and some weeks it’s 100%.
On the weekends my DH literally stays home with the teenagers and does absolutely nothing else;he doesn’t even do the bare minimum;he doesn’t even bother to clean up after himself;I dread coming home because the house will be a pigsty and he’ll be waiting for me to make everyone dinner.
I’m so sick of it;he doesn’t adequately provide financially for us,he doesn’t pull his weight with the house and other things that need doing.
He reckons I’m unreasonable for expecting him to do housework because looking after the kids should be enough and he’s too tired on his days off;well so I am but I have to crack on with things.
I know the LTB team will tell me to leave but it’s not an option financially or practically right now;he won’t leave if I try to kick him out;he has every right to remain in the house and I just can’t afford to rent as rental properties where I am are not only extortionate but in high demand.I’d need a 4 bedroom house.
The only thing I can do is wait it out;the kids will all move into supported housing when they are older and I’d be able to work more hours and probably afford a one bedroom flat for myself.