Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am i overreacting?

5 replies

BusySquid · 20/03/2025 18:07

Hi all, I'll try to keep it short...

I'm a mature student, an older man on the same course as me, who I thought was my friend gave me a lift in his car. When we got to the destination he proceeded to try and kiss me, even after I repeatedly said no. He had hold of my hand and started kissing it. I was physically shaking and had to agree to his request of thinking about us becoming a couple before he would let go of me so I could leave the car. I instantly blocked his number but the next day he was waiting for me at the train station before driving away at a fast speed.

He had previously said he was attracted to me and I made it very clear on message and in person that I did not feel the same and he seemed to except that until the incident in the car.

I told my place of study what had happened, they referred it some where else. The woman who rang me was quite dismissive and seemed shocked when I said I would be going back to my classes on Monday because I don't feel like I've done anything wrong. She said she would contact my tutors and see what they could sort out so we weren't near each other. In the days since I've felt so anxious and sick. The image of his hands on mine and his breath on my skin makes me want to throw up.

So my question is aibu to think this should have been taken more seriously and him possibly taken off of the course?

I know it may not be the most serious harassment/assault or whatever it was but it's left me feeling numb. I've learnt in the days after that this isn't the first time a woman on our course has taken his fancy. Although he didn't take it this far, it was mostly inappropriate comments. He hasn't yet been spoken to about his behaviour.

OP posts:
Daleksatemyshed · 20/03/2025 18:16

Not unreasonable at all Op, he has done this before and hasn't taken onboard that it makes women feel uncomfortable. Just because he didn't hurt you doesn't mean it's not a problem

Jshrbt · 20/03/2025 18:20

Not over reacting and make sure your course address it and don’t just dismiss it

pimplebum · 20/03/2025 18:25

This is shocking behaviour, very concerning , he should be suspended pending an investigation and he should keep away from you , not , you staying away from class.
you were very clear both in text and verbally his advances were not welcome

please take advise from experts about keeping safe

I would unblock him so I knew what he was saying /doing / threatening and screen shot at evidence and report to police

the bit about you having to agree with him before you could get out of car gave me chills

stay safe , stay assertive with your uni escalate the complaint upwards

Applesonthelawn · 17/06/2025 06:22

It's a very common narrative that men tell the OW with whom they want to or actually arte having sex that they are not having sex with their actual partner. I think you are just romanticising your beginning - many people are a bit deluded about their partners feelings towards other people, their romantic/sexual lives in general. You do not have a squeaky clean start to this relationship and your discomfort is probably due to your efforts to convince yourself that you did have. Just accept that. Are you worried that how you get them is how you lose them?

Applesonthelawn · 17/06/2025 06:23

Applesonthelawn · 17/06/2025 06:22

It's a very common narrative that men tell the OW with whom they want to or actually arte having sex that they are not having sex with their actual partner. I think you are just romanticising your beginning - many people are a bit deluded about their partners feelings towards other people, their romantic/sexual lives in general. You do not have a squeaky clean start to this relationship and your discomfort is probably due to your efforts to convince yourself that you did have. Just accept that. Are you worried that how you get them is how you lose them?

Sorry - wrong thread

New posts on this thread. Refresh page