To want to leave HA property due to neighbour?

[bellanella]

I live in a HA property and my neighbour has her Ringdoor bell camera pointed towards my home.

I know she listens to mine and OH’s conversations from the comments that she has made in the past.

I just feel like I have no privacy, I was a victim of a stalker previously ( my expect friend began stalking me ) resulted in a successful conviction and I have had severe anxiety ever since and really value my privacy.

These are new builds and some of her garden is next to my front door and sometimes she will just be hovering around my front door tending to her plants which makes me quite uncomfortable.

I called the HA today to ask if I could do a move internally and they have advised me that as I have only here since January I wouldn’t be eligible and have to wait 12 months and register on homeswap.

I am really not happy living here and makes me feel very anxious and brings back bad memories.

I have said to OH I just want to move as I can’t wait until next Janaury.

It would mean we would have to rent privately but if I take on another job we could afford it.

I have tried asking her if she could position on just her property but as it’s a terraced property she said it’s difficult.

I know HA properties are like gold dust but it’s really making me feel ill.

AIBU?

What do you mean it's pointed towards your home? Can you draw a diagram? I think there are rules about right to privacy so she can't just spy on you.

I would put up some kind of block or divider if I were you.

She sounds like a nosy bugger, but unless she's got some kind of connection with your stalker then I really wouldn't throw away a HA home without fussy exhausting all your options.

Very kindly it sounds as if this is your anxiety speaking and if you did move it will come with you.

Are you having important conversations with DH on your doorstep? Why do you think she would be interested? Many people have these gadgets now so it’s likely you’ll find them in the vicinity of another property.

Can you access some therapy via the nhs? You can self refer. I would honestly try that before making such a major decision as leaving a secure home.

Lastly, it could be a bonus if your home is covered by her camera- free home security?

Very kindly it sounds as if this is your anxiety speaking and if you did move it will come with you.

^^This

Unless you get a lot more money then you will always have neighbours. My last house was a terrace and my camera covered half the street. And sorry - but she's in her garden, not "hovering". That is your anxiety speaking, not her actions. And if she's hearing your conversations then you are speaking too loudly. Or talking in the garden - in which case if you don't want people to hear talk inside the house or very quietly. You are really lucky to get a new build house, and you won't get this chance again. Don't ruin it because of anxiety.

I wouldn't give up a new build HA property.

Can you have some fun with her if she's eavesdropping?

I had my neighbour convinced I was setting up a free range egg business and my HUGE chicken coop along with 20 chickens and 1 cock were being delivered imminently. All bollocks but DH were chatting about it in the garden as we could see her hovering being the fence. She complained to the council about the imaginary chicken shit and noisy cockeral 🤣

Doorbell cameras tend to have quite wide view. She's hardly a bad neighbour pottering in her front garden. You sound completely paranoid

As you say yourself, part of her garden is near your front door, so how else is she meant to tend her plants there without being near your front door? It's entirely your own perception that she's 'hovering' there with ill intent. Is there some way you could put up a screen, or perhaps a large bushy plant in a tall pot, so it would shield your front door a bit? You can hardly expect her not to look after her plants because it makes you feel 'uncomfortable'.

There's no way she could hear your and your OH's conversations inside your house from her camera, so if you're worried about her overhearing important or private things, why are you talking about them outside?

If I were you, I really, really wouldn't give up a HA property over this. What if you move and your new neighbour also makes you feel uncomfortable? What if your new neighbour is male, not female? Wouldn't that be a lot worse? It doesn't sound like she's doing anything at all wrong (people are allowed to be in their own gardens!), it sounds, kindly, as though your anxieties are playing up and making you worried over nothing. Pretty well all of us, unless we're one of the few who are lucky enough to live in a detached house in the middle of nowhere, have to deal with neighbours, so wherever you move to, it's going to be an issue, isn't it?

It is possible to restrict the field of view on most cameras. Has the HA spoken to her to ask her to do so? How can she overhear your conversations ? Three months is way too soon to decide to need to move and unfortunately terrace houses are by nature at close quarters.

As PP said, I would so have some fun with her eavesdropping, mention the rumour you’ve heard about ** (insert your favourite here)

Thanks for the replies.
the Ringdoor bell captures past her boundary onto mine and with the Ringdoor it allows you to listen to audio either if you go “live” or from the motion it has picked up.

Literally me OH have made comments about getting a rose bush today a few hours later she was out there planting a rose bush (spoke to her as she as doing it) she wasn’t even at home when we had this convo that’s why I know 100% her Ringdoor bell captures my boundary.

My OH is always calling me “Miss Sexybum” and one time she commented saying “Hey Miss Sexybum” and we don’t talk loud at all and talk as quiet as we can.

The way these new builds are built is that her garden falls onto my boundary.

We are going to ask the HA to see if we can put some kind of fencing up.

We actually have a Ringdoor ourselves but we ensure that it only captures our boundary, you can block out areas which we have done.

But does it really matter? Outdoors is public. If you moved to any flat/adjoined property the situation maybe similar. What memories is it stirring, perhaps get some support for that first.

Are you the OP whose neighbour comes under your front window to dig her flower bed?? Don’t give up a new build HA property!! They are like gold dust!! When you’re able to, just put a fence up or plant some shrubs. There are nosy fuckers everywhere so as a pp said, unless you can afford to live in splendid isolation you’ll have to be inventive x

Are you sure she’s not just passively aggressively telling you she can hear you? Unless your dh only calls you that when you are outside the house?

do you really think she was out, checked her ring footage, listened to your convo and changed all her plans to rush and get a rose bush because you said you might get one?

I’d imagine she just so happened to be at a garden centre and fancied a rose bush

This does sound like overthinking and anxiety.

if she wasn’t at home when you were talking about the rose bush, surely she was at the shop buying it? It sounds like a coincidence

it sounds as if you are as interested in her, as she is in you.

I think you are overthinking it.

Yes she could probably here you, but you can't day she didn't already have the roses bush or plan to get a rose bush.

Or maybe she did hear you and she thought what a good idea.

My neighbours all have cameras, see all my mishaps and can hear all my rants, but they also keep an eye out for each other.

I can understand this is getting you down but it sounds like you have a lovely home. I'd wind her up with tall tales like buying a Rolls Royce or going on holiday to the Bahamas.

I had a very nosy neighbour in my favourite house and I would ignore her as much as I could.

As long as she's quiet I would put up with it.

There are rules around ring doorbells and filming neighbouring properties. Investigate that first to see if she is breaking them. Other than that, you would indeed be bonkers to move from an HA property to a private rental. Rents are astronomical and you will have zero security. On top of that, you will most likely never again be considered for HA or council housing. In any event, apart from the fact that it would be madness, you could move to a private rental and have similar or an even worse neighbour. Twelve months will go by quickly enough. I think you're being rather paranoid.

Even if she did overhear you and your OH talking about getting a rose bush, and I think that's a big if (lots of people plant rose bushes and it's definitely not 100% proof that she's listening to you as you seem to think), why is that a bad thing? Maybe she just thought, ooooh, what an excellent idea, I should get one of those, it'd look great. My neighbour showed me round her new kitchen once and I loved the paint she'd chosen so much I decided to buy some myself. It doesn't have to be sinister.

We just aren’t generally happy here.
We moved from a city to a town because our last HA flat had severe issues which was impacting our health and the waiting list is on average 10 - 12 years for a 3 bed property.

We had to move to an area where I have a “local connection” I.e where I was born and have family etc as that was the only way to get out of the flat, and the waiting list here is 2 months.
You are classed having a housing need if you have children under 10 living in a flat above ground floor which we was.

My parents have recently retired and now live abroad 6 months and 6 months here and won’t be back until September, my siblings are all busy with work, their own kids etc, and my uncles and aunties have severe health issues so don’t really out.

So it is very lonely here and all our friends are back in the city which is why I probably feel anxious and over thinking things.

Was really hoping for an exchange back to the city but have to wait until next year.

In relation to the privacy laws, the ICO advise that CCTV should capture only your own boundary but they don’t enforce anything or get involved, the police only intervene when it records into bedrooms which the neighbours doesn’t.

None of this would bother me.

But as it bothers you, offer to reposition her camera for her if she thinks it's too difficult.

Literally me OH have made comments about getting a rose bush today a few hours later she was out there planting a rose bush (spoke to her as she as doing it) she wasn’t even at home when we had this convo that’s why I know 100% her Ringdoor bell captures my boundary.

I was out planting a rose bush yesterday. I am not your neighbour. It was sunny, warm and great weather for planting rose bushes in the garden. If you'd been talking about planting something rare and exotic, then it might not be a coincidence - but every other house with a garden has rose bushes. As for your nickname, if he use this all the time, no wonder she's picked up on it - so would most people.

But here's a question - how do you know that her camera is filming you and taping you - are you sneaking in to her house and checking the feed? Because I actually get on with my neighbour and we chat/visit frequently, but I have no idea whatsoever what area her ring doorbell covers, and I am sure she has no idea what mine covers.

In relation to the privacy laws, the ICO advise that CCTV should capture only your own boundary but they don’t enforce anything or get involved,
That is advice, not law. It's impossible to implement in many places. As I said, where I was previously the cameras could "see" half the street and there was no way of adjusting them to view less - but I really had much better things to do than sit watching the neighbours anyway.

I'm sorry you're suffering such anxiety OP, but have you realised that wherever you move to you could have neighbours far, far worse than the one you have now!

You'll take you anxiety with you wherever you go so I think your energy and money would be much better spent getting treatment for that.

Can you put music on to drown out any conversation?

Or talk about privacy laws and about speaking to a solicitor.

Honestly I wouldn’t give up a HA house over a ring doorbell, you would have anxiety every time they put up rent, or you had to move and couldn’t find another place.

Work on creating a visual barrier, not bamboo, but a fence or fast growing hedging.

Turn it all back at her, say you feel pity for those who have such little Iives your conversations are of such interest.

Say you are thinking of getting a puppy of a big dog breed.

Just wind her up whilst the hedge grows basically.

Hi
It would be abit difficult to erect a fence as the “driveway” or parking area whatever it is called is simply just two parking spaces made from tarmac if you know what I mean.
I’m not sure if you can do that?

It would be the perfect solution for her as well as she gets feds up of the neighbours kids running across right up by her window and playing hide and seek by her car and chucking gravel at it.
A barrier would stop this.

We don’t want to cause friction by causing issues like going to the solicitor about privacy laws etc but I don’t think it would be of much use anyway as I know loads of people who have had this problem with CCTV capturing their property and the police advised they can’t get involved unless it capturing images in bedrooms.

I think maybe some shrubs will be the way to go.