To be more awkward about my autism diagnosis than my ADHD?

29 replies

Greenpolkadots · 20/03/2025 14:24

I was diagnosed by a clinical psychologist after being on the waiting list for years.
I knew I had ADHD, I did suspect Autism too so I didn’t think either would have come as a shock.
However I feel weirdly blindsided by the autism one. More awkward and embarrassed about it.
I’ve told people I have a diagnosis of ADHD, but I just don’t feel comfortable telling anyone about the autism one. I don’t know why exactly. I guess because autism is seen in a slightly different way to ADHD. More severe maybe - not my perception necessarily, but society.

OP posts:

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 20/03/2025 21:31

@thankyounextplease

That's exactly
Me
And my
Dd!!

FishfingerFlinger · 20/03/2025 21:48

I think there’s so many famous people revealing they have ADHD these days that it’s much more socially accepted and people are now better at seeing beyond the stereotypes (badly behaved boys). Makes sense there’s a lot of ADHD in media, comedy, journalism etc because they’re have the right components for an adhd brain.

I think with Autism we are as a society mostly still seeing the stereotype (socially awkward, rigid, nerdy). And there’s not as many people in the public eye who are autistic.

I have an ADHD diagnosis, DS recently has ADHD and ASD, and I’m now questioning whether I also have ASD (or at least I have autistic traits).

It took my a long time to recognise it in my DS because he’s empathetic, affectionate, funny, resilient, flexible…none of these things I associated with ASD. But as I’ve learned more about different ways ASD presents, and especially how it intersects with ADHD, I can understand it so much better.

Onceisenoughta · 21/03/2025 03:59

There are so many comments in these posts that mean something to me - I'll admit I'm pretty ignorant about ASD and ADHD, behaviours, thoughts/feelings, appearances but as I've never had any experience of either in close family & friends it's all new to me. I can see now why people think others are odd, I've had that label sometimes and it hurt me but I could find at least 5 things straight off that I didn't like about them and they'd revolve around gossiping, being two-faced, lying, manipulation, bitchiness - both male and female sexes. I've struggled with mental health since I was about 19 and have had some really bad times with it - long periods of better times inbetween - this is what I've watched for in DD - but although she's the same age as I was (19) her issues are similar to anxiety/depression but they appear to be diagnosed differently. She said if she went to our GP that's what they'd diagnose her with so she went to a therapist instead.

All very interesting & food for thought.

C0tt0nS33d · 21/03/2025 05:55

thankyounextplease · 20/03/2025 18:01

Showing my ignorance but I struggle to grasp how people can have both when so many behaviours on each side seem at odds with one another.

I have a friend with ADHD, I suspect I lean more toward autism than anything.

We both obsess over an interest, but she is bored after a while and moves on to another one or doesn't have anything for a while, whereas if you try to pull me away from my one - ever (even to something else I'd logically be interested in), it stresses me out and I get angry if the disruption persists when I'm trying to do something else.

Her house is always wild chaos, whereas I'm stressed if there's a plate on the side instead of where it belongs with the other plates.

If she has an appointment in the middle of the day she spends all morning unable to do anything until the appointment, or she forgets the appointment entirely.

If she starts a task she's likely to get distracted by something else in the room she walks into, whereas I cannot stop until I have completed the task in full (which again is annoying for people when they try to interrupt me or ask me to do something else in the middle of me doing something).

She forgets to eat and will just eat anything when she remembers whereas I like to buy the same foods with the same numbers of things so I know they will last exactly a week.

If she forgets to text me back she's really guilty and apologetic about it because she sees it as an ADHD thing and is paranoid people she cares about will think she's deliberately ignoring them, whereas I'm not bothered as I don't take it personally or think about it again.

I know everyone is different and there are different types of ADHD and we are just two examples but I can't understand how having both works.

Having both is horrific. It’s like literally being ripped in half and the difficulties/shame re the extremes of both are heightened.

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