5 year old gel nails - is just once ok?

[ChronicallyOnLime]

God I don’t want to sound like an awful mother because I know gels can weaken nails.. but will one time be ok?

We’re off to Disneyland next week as a surprise for DD and she is utterly obsessed with having her nails done, we always use regular polish for her but they never last more than a day or two. I do my own gels at home for special occasions and I’m wondering whether I could do it on DD just for our trip?

I can avoid filing her nails surface as it’s not necessarily being done for that much longevity as you would an adult. But I’m just wondering if it’s still a terrible idea?

I think you ought to rethink that last sentiment. My mother was a CSA victim and that's the exact reason why she balked at the idea of me wearing makeup when I was little. Lipstick and eyeshadow is designed to make women look sexually attractive. It is not appropriate for tiny children whether it's indoors or outdoors, it just isn't, sorry.

And instead of asking who might have a problem with small children wearing makeup and getting dolled up like adults, why don't you ask yourself who really likes that idea instead? Men who abuse kids love that idea, in case you need a clue. Gail Dines, an expert on the sexual abuse of women in girls due to porn culture, said that a convicted child rapist once said about his young victim that "society did a lot of the grooming for me".

I don't think you're a bad mother or that you're intentionally doing any of this, FWIW. I also recognise that you just want to do nice stuff for your kid because you love her. I also think it seems like she's not just absorbing this interest in nails/makeup/hair from you but from her peer group too. I just think maybe you need to take a step back and think about what all of this stuff actually means and signifies. Not everything that we like, not everything that is "fun" is good or healthy for us. Sometimes what's behind it is actually pretty dark.

People here are being a little dramatic.

Obviously it's not a good idea, and OP has got that now. But being so outraged that a 5 year old girl likes her nails done is stupid. It's really not something so crazy that 5 year olds like playing as princess and dressing up like they see their mums do.

And if OP wants to buy a load of clothes as a gift to go with the holiday, so what. It might not be what I'd do, but it's none of my bloody business. She's giving her some clothes, etc not sending her to work in a factory.

Hell no. Normal nail polish, fine, most brands have taken out the worst chemicals now. Use a decent base and top coat that will help the polish last longer. I use Orly who are good. Gels, no way. Most salons won't even do gel nails on children under 14 anyway.

Edit: I know you said you'd be doing it yourself but I said that more to illustrate that there's an age limit.

Just to add - you're getting an unnecessarily hard time here, OP. You asked a question about gel nails and whether it would be all right to do on a child's nails, and then when people said the process would be too harsh on a child's nails, you took that on board. And yet people are acting as if you've announced you're going to do it!

The thread is basically:

OP: Is it OK for a child to have gel nails, or is it too much?
NORMAL REPLIES: No, don't do it - it's too harsh a process for young kids and it will wreck her nails.
OP: Ah, OK - we won't do it then,
INSANE REPLIES: You are a terrible mother who is sexualising her child and also spoiling her and frankly this is akin to hacking off a child's hands with an axe. You might as well take her to pole-dancing lessons and let her have a tattoo. Also how dare she have a small treat as well as a holiday, what is wrong with you?
OP: To reiterate - I've said we're not going to do it. I wasn't sure what it would entail but now people have explained, I can see it's not ideal.
INSANE REPLIES: Nope, it's too late. We've already phoned social services because you, madam, are a monster.

Well that’s a bit of a silly question, plenty of young girls see their mum doing make up and nails and want to copy

This!

Sweet lord what is the world coming too - i even think its so weird for girls of 15 and 16 regularly going to get their nails done
My nieces love getting their nails done, i paint them very time they are over, they comment on mine being different but we just say that's for when you are grown up -They understand that. Same that beer and wine are for grown ups, Allow your child to be a child.

My daughter also went through a phase of wanting her nails done all the time at the same age. I bought her the child friendly nail polishes but it peels off in about 2 hours. She has had gels on her nails for a few special occasions and her finger nails have yet to fall off. That being said, I wouldn't take her to a shop where they would file or drill her nails to get the texture and drying effect they would in an adult.

I suspect this is a wind-up.

But if it isn’t, how bloody depressing.

Not sure whether it has been mentioned above, but applying gel Polish yourself isn't recommended anymore. Research has come out that suggests an ingredient in it can cause allergies if it gets onto the skin. This allergy will then also react with fillings (teeth) and materials used for hip replacements etc. I used to do my own gels. I don't use the stuff now. I'd rather have plain nails and no allergies!

Also OP. YABU. Just paint her nails with standard polish. Kids don't care about chips.

Its not so much the nails becoming brittle, its the chemicals in gels that's the danger and little girls nail beds are so soft, there's more of a chance of an allergy occurring - even with just one use.

Top coat her nails and cap the cut edge , if they are really short, push a wee bit of sellotape between the pad and nail to pull it down and back enough to cap the nail

Confined dolphins are much worse - how utterly cruel

My 7-year old son is in a class with 20 girls, and not a single one of them is “into” or has ever worn nail varnish or make-up at any of the many birthday parties we’ve had over the years. So I don’t think your assertion that it’s really normal for 5 year old girls to be into nails and make-up, even as just one of their many interests, is true.

I haven't read the whole thread so sorry if it's already been said but what about something like this?

https://www.claires.com/disney-stitch-claires-exclusive-bff-stiletto-press-on-faux-nail-set---20-pack-886494.html?lang=en_GB&cgid=87&selectedshipment=ship_to_address

Good for you. I’m pretty relieved my DD isn’t into space or dragon pets as she has a lovely group of friends that share the same interests as her. When I think of the children in her class I think she’d be pretty lonely if she was as I doubt there are many children in her class with the interests that your daughter has.

You pay that much attention to 20 individual girls at multiple events that you've noticed they haven't worn nail varnish and actually remembered that "over the years". Lol. OK.

Quite telling how much OP knows about fillers!

What about some normal nail polish and some nail stickers! You can get minnie mouse ones on amazon. Id be worried about using the uv curing lights on such young skin etc and potential infection as childrens nails are much thinner and at risk of filing through to the nail bed.

OP, you're the parent and therefore you say "no". You know better than your child, and you know that nails as suggested are not only physically bad, but they also give off completely the wrong message (I'm assuming you don't want your child to look like a hooker?).
She's 5. She's already having one massive treat, and she really doesn't need to be turned into a completely spoilt child.

She’s 5 not 15. Jeez

I know there is a temptation to do what the other parents are doing and soft nails aside it seems harmless but I saw this kind of thing backfire spectacularly with my mum and youngest sister.

She’s 16 years younger than me. I’m now in my 40s, when she was 8 she convinced my mum to let her join Facebook cause all the other girls in her class were as a friend was moving abroad and they could stay in touch that way. I warned my mum against it -told her Skype would be better. My mum had no clue about Facebook and I was mid twenties and had been on it for years and knew it was a bad idea for young kids. I saw them all grow up obsessed with appearances - getting everyone to rate their looks out of 10 constantly - it was horrible to witness - fast forward to secondary school she developed body dysmorphia and depression and BPD and now is really struggling as an adult. Barely functioning.

I know your post is about nails and you just want to do a nice thing together (I love makeup and nails for the record!) but I would be wary of judging stuff based on what other parents are doing. I watched my sister desperate to grow up as fast as possible and she and her friends seem to have been totally messed up by it all. Maybe it would have been the case no matter what but it seemed to have a big impact to me.

I don’t know that this is a great argument given that tanning salons still exist (with sunbeds) and we all know how incredibly harmful they are to health. It’s ridiculous that they are legal in the UK. A treatment being legal and a person being qualified to do it doesn’t mean it is safe or a good idea.

Possibly because I raised a feminine daughter without the need to introduce her to fussy hair, gel nails, make-up and glitter tattoos aged five.

It didn't prevent me from supporting her with highlights and a make-up lesson aged 15! Or from buying her nice clothes.

Fortunately her natural inclinations were and are more Mary Beard than Disney Princess.

They will be. Most if not all parents that allow play make up will only allow it in the house, who is frankly going to let their child out of the house looking like a clown.
Plus if these parties aren’t in the school holidays parents probably won’t allow them to paint their nails as it needs to be removed for school.

You can just bring the nail varnish with you and top it up? Just use the wash off stuff. It dries so quickly and as she’s 5 her nails will be tiny so it will take seconds.