5 year old gel nails - is just once ok?

[ChronicallyOnLime]

God I don’t want to sound like an awful mother because I know gels can weaken nails.. but will one time be ok?

We’re off to Disneyland next week as a surprise for DD and she is utterly obsessed with having her nails done, we always use regular polish for her but they never last more than a day or two. I do my own gels at home for special occasions and I’m wondering whether I could do it on DD just for our trip?

I can avoid filing her nails surface as it’s not necessarily being done for that much longevity as you would an adult. But I’m just wondering if it’s still a terrible idea?

I actually can’t believe the level of hate your post has received here 🫣
Im normally quite a ‘square’ mum and say no to things that other parents I know don’t think are a bad idea but I took my daughter for gel nails as we were going to Disney when she was 6…I’m now feeling very irresponsible 🤣
She is however 11 now and her finger tips didn’t drop off or anything so I think she survived

Christ, gels absolutely can and do cause damage. Check out HEMA, found in acrylics and gels.

I think it's cute, as long as it's "just a special one off for holiday". She clearly just wants to be like the grown-ups and copy. I'm no expert on nails though, so if someone comes along and says it is really dangerous, fair enough.

Fwiw, my two boys (2 and 4), have normal polish on atm 😂 The eldest went to his friend's unicorn birthday party, and wanted my "unicorn", pearlescent pink on, to "dress up" for the event. The younger one then wanted to copy 🤷‍♀️ Harmless fun, like fsncy dress / facepaint, surely?

The difference for me is that telling girls and women there is something wrong with us is a very good marketing tactic. It relies on making us feel somehow not quite good enough just as we are in order to sell products and treatments. It’s personal in a way that Star Wars and dragons aren’t!

There are hobbies and activities traditionally associated with femininity and hobbies and activities traditionally associated with masculinity.

A girl who likes the latter- is into football, vehicles, space, dinosaurs- is a cool trail-blazer. It's totally acceptable and even applauded for a girl to say she hates pink, dresses and make-up.

A girl who loves make-up, nails, hair, glitter and pretty dresses is immediately viewed with suspicion and judged as less intelligent, less interesting and less important.

You know exactly what people mean when someone mentions feminine and masculine hobbies, and if you haven't noticed the different ways they are treated by society, you've been deliberately looking away.

I thought by 2025 we would have stopped telling girls that a good childhood involves fitting into all the paradigms we built around boys, and instead started telling ALL children that they can have their glittery dresses and nails AND their dragons and space.

No. Under no circumstances is gel suitable for a 5 year old.

Idk where you buy your make-up from but that's never sold make-up to me.

I see a look and I think, "That looks cute, I'll try that." I've never bought eyeshadow thinking "Gosh, I'm so embarrassed that my eyelids aren't naturally this shade of emerald green."

Don't you think that the Star Wars characters are also aspirational? That children secretly wish they had "the force" and could be accepted into Jedi school, or wish that they could tame a dragon and be the ruler of a fearsome beast?

Gel polish is cured under UV light - the same UV light that is on sunbeds. Why would you do that to her delicate skin?

Please don’t.

A girl who likes the latter- is into football, vehicles, space, dinosaurs- is a cool trail-blazer. It's totally acceptable and even applauded for a girl to say she hates pink, dresses and make-up.
A girl who loves make-up, nails, hair, glitter and pretty dresses is immediately viewed with suspicion and judged as less intelligent, less interesting and less important.

I agree with what you are saying in that a boy who is in to sewing his own clothes or knitting is seen as brilliant and a girl who was doing the same is seen as old fashioned or dull.

But make up, hair, glitter and pretty dresses are not comparable to playing football, vehicles, space and dinosaurs because one is just being interested in how other people think you look and the others are interests for yourself.

That's EXACTLY the kind of selfish bullshit that needs to die

Make-up, hair and nails are ART. Fashion is a huge industry. You can enjoy those things because you find them fun, just in the same way as you can find football fun.

Like men don't buy cars based on the image it gives them. 😂

@WonkyDonkeyWonkeyDonkey But make up, hair, glitter and pretty dresses are not comparable to playing football, vehicles, space and dinosaurs because one is just being interested in how other people think you look and the others are interests for yourself.

I disagree with the above. I've loved beauty stuff since before I can remember, and it was always for me. Messing about with makeup and hair is creative, and bubble bath etc. is fun and relaxing. At any age, I would have done what I did if I was alone on a desert island, because it amused me and/or relaxed me. Nothing to do with what anyone else thinks. The interest in beauty is/was completely for myself.

Also, why the assumption that the interests in your first few words preclude other interests that are less stereotypically female? Those things certainly weren't my only interests.

Sorry to scramble your mind, but I've always loved beauty and as an adult have spent most of my life with bleach-blonde hair (did Sun-in at 14), full makeup, and push-up bras - but also got four As at A-level in academic subjects and a Russell uni degree and master's in same academic subjects.

Beauty does not mean bimbo!

Exactly!

I used to love playing with makeup at that age. And nails. I was a tomboy but I also loved all of that sort of stuff. Now as an adult, I can't remember the last time I wore make up. It was just a bit of fun as a kid.

@SomethingFun Saying make up and nails = feminine is gender woo bollocks territory.

Are you saying that makeup and nails are masculine interests?

I think you'll find that beauty is universally accepted as a feminine interest, not a masculine one.

I think it's wonderful that your boys have pearlescent nail polish on! Why shouldn't they, if they want it? I do hope the next generation isn't constrained by gender norms, and that we also stop treating stereotypically girls' things as if they're bad and also not for boys. Why shouldn't little boys learn to knit and wear nail polish if they want to?? Grown men look great in nice jumpers - I bet lots of men would love to knit their own and get creative with the designs if the world didn't hate traditionally-female interests so much!

Why are dragons and space masculine? If dragons were real they’d be 50/50 and space doesn’t have a sex. It’s so bizarre that so few things are collectively seen as feminine and they seem to be about looking pretty and looking after things. Why can’t space be feminine? Why can’t painting your nails be masculine? Who decides? Does it even matter? Gel nails on a 5 year old being anyone’s hill to die on regarding the denigration of stereotypical female activities seems nuts.

Surely she won't be allowed to have polish on at school anyway? My DGS is partial to painted nails but he knows they have to be removed the night before school. Gel polish is a PITA to take off

I suppose it's because most astronauts tend to be male, and also because women are under-represented in the sciences. Not saying that's right or fair.

I've never met a dragon 😂 but non-human mammals don't have hugely visible sex differences like humans do. Our curves and boobs and different voices and marked size difference, different shaped hips and smaller jaws and brows etc. mark us out as clearly female. Whereas male and female labradors, for example, look pretty much the same.

I imagine it's very similar with dragons!

Another boy who feels free to express himself outside traditional gender norms! I am loving this. Long may your DGS enjoy his nail polish!

Because she’s a young child! If she catches a nail and damages the nail bed she won’t have any nails to put gel nails on when she’s old enough! What next Botox?

No no no no. She’s way too young.

We’ll stick to her regular polish

she's 5 fgs! How can she have regular polish??

I don’t buy make up so I can’t comment on that. But I do see advertising and feel that a lot of beauty products and services are marketed in a way that can make women and girls feel they’re somehow not womanning quite right if they’re not joining in with all the femininity stuff. I’ve learnt to ignore it all now but it has taken a lot of years to get to a point where I no longer feel like a disappointment of a woman (I’m probably not neurotypical which might be part of it).

I get that enjoying make-up is sometimes about creativity (but it is also very often about insecurity). I’m just a bit wary of expensive hobbies that focus on physical appearance- it’s not something I’d encourage in a child, unless their interest was from an artistic angle, as opposed to wanting to do nails or make up because they’ve seen their mum do it or they’ve formed the opinion that it’s what women ‘do’.

Lol my DD nearly fell out with her MIL over glitter face paint at his own birthday party when MIL said it was only for girls

Nail on the head with this one!