To think that most long-distance relationships are just two people lying to each other?

[BluntAzurePeer]

“We trust each other” = we don’t ask questions we don’t want answers to.

You are wrong. I was in a long distance relationship for a year. We’ve been married 19 years now. Not everyone cheats

I live 3 hours away from my partner of 3 years. I don’t feel that way at all.

Why do you say that?

Depends on many things really. I was in a long distance relationship for two years and was never unfaithful. I’m as certain as I can be that my DP wasn’t either, although I guess you can never know for sure.

We were in the early stages of our relationship though when we started long distance so very much still in the “glow” of the early stages, messaging each other a lot, planning weekends away and holidays etc. No kids or general drudgery!

I wonder if it’s less successful when the couple have been together for a long time, the stereotype of one partner “working away” for long periods and the other barely hearing from them…

Eh
As a say to my teen - that's a sweeping generalisation

Interesting hypothesis. When I was in a long distance relationship, I don't think we lied to each other but I was definitely in love with a fantasy version of the person in question.

Married for 17 years to my long distance (6,500 miles / 9 timezones at the time) partner.

There have certainly been instances of lying since - but I don’t think there were any (certainly no significant) when we were long distance.

Are you referring to my relationship with Viggo Mortensen? He doesn’t lie to me at all. In fact he doesn’t actually communicate with me explicitly. But we’re very happy.

😄

May you have a long and happy life together.

Me and 'im were in a long term relationship and now I look back I realise we were both idealising the other. I think that if we'd got to know each other better things would be different. I needed to get away from home and this was my 'way out'. Coming up to our 50th!

@BarneyRonson sit down... he's with me, we were waiting for the right time

Depends what you are calling long distance and the people in the relationship- in my experience they can work!

OP, clearly you or someone you know has had a bad experience of misplaced trust in a long-distance relationship, but no, it is not true that 'most' long-distance relationships are like that.

They suit some people, eg me and DP - we are older, both have our own houses, adult children and lives, there is the city vs countryside issue, but we enjoy spending time together and apart. Some people are in short or long-term LDR out of necessity, but would prefer to be closer or living together, and some people are no doubt just cheating, lying, untrustworthy types who find it convenient to keep a trusting partner at a safe distance while they mess around - but there are probably clues if you look hard enough.

Depends on the people and I know people where this is the case but me and my DH were together long distance for the first 4 years of our relationship. We will have been married 9 years in June and together 14 years, still very happy.

I had a long distance relationship with my ex for a couple of years before we moved to live together. He was nothing like the person he portrayed himself to be while we were long distance. I think that people can present the best version of themselves when they are only seeing their partner for a couple of weekends a month and talking on the phone the rest of the time. You can keep up the facade for longer.
Once ex and I moved in together he quickly showed who he really was. Of course, this also happens when people move in together who have been living in the same town previously. It's not exclusive to LDRs
I wouldn't call it lying as such and I also don't think that loads of people in long distance relationships are shagging around the rest of the time when their partner isn't there but I do think it's easier to make out you're someone you're not because you don't have to keep up the pretence 24 hours a day.