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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I silly to worry !

12 replies

Graccccie · 19/03/2025 21:14

About school - i am an anxious person but for context DS goes NEXT September. Yep not even this year. He turned 3 in December

He's quite a sensitive soul and I've always worried a lot about him , he in a sense is still a few months behind when I see him with kids his age not in a bad way but he seems younger than he is. He is potty trained so that's not a worry

I just worry about him making friends and how detached school is , he's in private nursery now and I'll keep him there until school and not use school nursery.

Obviously got lots of time to get over this worry and work with him on his speech and being more independent

But did anyone here think how is my child going to school next year and then it was nothing to worry about??

OP posts:
MinnieCoops · 19/03/2025 21:15

You need to get help for your anxiety, go and see your GP. It’ll help Flowers (I’m being kind, not sarky)

Ph3 · 19/03/2025 21:18

Me!! I was so worried. Specially as nursery ref him to a speech therapist as he wasn’t really talking at 3.5. The first time he said mama was just before he started nursery at 3. He was behind academically compared to his peers and very shy. He is now 12 years old and started secondary last September. Passed his 11+ and has made friend in new school! Do I still worry yes! But they honestly just find themselves. It won’t be a bed of roses but you will be looking back and think - it was all fine!

Happystrider1 · 19/03/2025 21:28

Do nursery have any concerns about his development?

If no concerns or additional needs then he'll ace it in time once he starts.

Why do you not want to put him into pre school at the school he'll be attending? It's a great way of him meeting his peers but also integrating into the school routine early. We have a pre school attached to our lovely village school. They get involved in the nativity, sit in the school hall at lunch, sports day plus much more. As a result my eldest was itching to start by the spring term before she started reception. My youngest starts this September and is already talking about the toys they have in reception and that he will be in the same playground as his big sister at playtimes.

StumbleInTheDebris · 19/03/2025 21:36

Are there kids in his nursery that will be going to his school? Knowing a handful of peers will be really beneficial.

And if he's potty trained at just turned 3 you're a long way ahead. All teachers will tell you it's things like going to the loo, eating and putting on shoes/ pulling up trousers they'll need to be practiced at, as many do struggle.

Reception year is the same educational framework as nursery (EYFS) so don't worry about that. They absorb so much through play and come out being able to read and write - it's amazing.

autisticbookworm · 19/03/2025 21:42

The problem with skipping school nursery is it’s a really good opportunity for school to start to prepare them for reception. Our school started doing some reception curriculum in summer term of nursery. Plus also a good opportunity to make friends

ssd · 19/03/2025 21:46

He'd be better off with the school nursery, once he settled there moving up to school wont be such a big deal as he'll have his friends with him.

Original poster
Graccccie · 20/03/2025 08:50

The reason for no school nursery is it's less personal and he goes in upset sometimes he's shy and sensitive the staff at our nursery are amazing they update me as soon as possible and can give him a cuddle when he goes in upset

I've spoke to some mums and they're applying for the same school we are we all live in a distance so I know some from his current nursery will end up going with him!

OP posts:
LoveWine123 · 20/03/2025 08:56

I would strongly recommend not skipping the school nursery. It will prepare him for reception. He will be more confident when he starts as he will know the school, the teachers, the routines, the children. He will be used to the uniform. Go and speak to the nursery teachers, they have open days. Most nursery teachers are used to separation anxiety and unsettled children and they manage it well. Not sure why you day it is less personal. You can still be updated and can still give your child a hug and a kiss when he goes in. Don’t let your own anxiety prevent your child from having this opportunity for an easier transition to school as yes starting school is a big deal. He will end being among children who are already used to the school and who have formed some friendships already.

I have two children and only the second one went to school nursery for various reasons. The difference was huge and to this day I regret not sending the first one there.

FarmGirl78 · 20/03/2025 09:31

You say you worry about him a lot. I really would try and get some help for YOU with this. I was brought up by an anxious mother, and both her and my Dad have separately told me about some of the "worries" that she had when we were little, save frankly they were just ridiculous. Her anxiety and worries really rubbed off on me, and as a biproduct I question and overanalyse everything, but that's all I knew growing up.

You say he's a sensitive little soul, so this might be the start of him picking up on your worries. It's really good you're an involved concerned Mum, but please please don't let this affect him any more than it needs to. It's also not much fun for you is it? Please, seek some support. It's natural to be apprehensive about your child starting school, but it shouldn't be worrying you so much, and ESPECIALLY not so far in advance.

Echobelly · 20/03/2025 13:05

I was worried about DS; he was August born and not at the front end of maturity for his age in top of that (turns out that was ADHD!) . He'd obit fly out of day nappies 5 months before starting school and spent a lot of time making crazy noises rather than talking on sentences, though he did have a decent vocabulary.

And it was actually OK. He found school hard sometimes, but he did enjoy it and was always happy to go in, and made some friends too but that did take some support.

Original poster
Graccccie · 20/03/2025 15:04

I have been to therapy but got discharged after the 15 set sessions as I wasn't a risk and was following the exercises etc

I try not to showcase any worry xx

OP posts:
HomeBodyClub · 20/03/2025 15:06

School is amazing for most kids.
Make sure you don’t project your own insecurities and anxiety onto him.

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