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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dementia? Homeless?

24 replies

TheGreenJoker · 19/03/2025 18:54

My dads been removed from his property? He’s been abused and got dementia
they offered him a BnB!!!!! That’s not suitable surely?!!!!! He’s got dementia???? So I said he could temporarily stay with me but now my landlord is saying he can’t be here??? What happens now?!! I can’t see how it affects my landlord but I don’t want my dad to stay in a BnB 😰😰😰

OP posts:
Miloarmadillo2 · 19/03/2025 18:57

Removed from his owned property or somewhere he was renting? Has he been paying rent? Has the landlord been through eviction proceedings? Does your Dad have a social worker? Take him in for tonight (surely you can have guests?) and speak to housing at the council tomorrow.

Namechangetry · 19/03/2025 19:05

Who has removed him?
Who has abused him?
Who owns the property?

No offence but your post is a bit hard to understand.

JLou08 · 19/03/2025 19:06

That's the state of social housing in the country unfortunately. Some wouldn't even get a B&B. Do housing know he has dementia? Does he need care?

Original poster
TheGreenJoker · 19/03/2025 19:14

Miloarmadillo2 · 19/03/2025 18:57

Removed from his owned property or somewhere he was renting? Has he been paying rent? Has the landlord been through eviction proceedings? Does your Dad have a social worker? Take him in for tonight (surely you can have guests?) and speak to housing at the council tomorrow.

He owned the property . He was removed from social services
his ‘carer’ was abusing him

OP posts:
Potsofpetals · 19/03/2025 19:15

So your mother?

Original poster
TheGreenJoker · 19/03/2025 19:18

Potsofpetals · 19/03/2025 19:15

So your mother?

No my mom has passed away. It was a carer going into help him? Cook his meals etc. abused him and she’s been arrested and he’s been took away from the home he owns due to being high risk 😰😰😰. Where he was
so I temporarily took him in but they can’t find anywhere suitable for him but now my landlord is kicking off

OP posts:
Original poster
TheGreenJoker · 19/03/2025 19:20

He owned it, he was removed for his own safety basically.

my landlord is kicking off. It’s me that pays rent here but my dad owns his home but he’s been told to not go home by social services because he’s too high risk :(

OP posts:
IfIHadAHeart · 19/03/2025 19:20

If he owns his house why can’t you go there with him?

Namerequired · 19/03/2025 19:21

Can you move in with him. Are there other risks at his property other than the carer?

TotallyForgettableForNow · 19/03/2025 19:24

You move into his house with him. Surely that's the obvious solution?

Ticktockwatchclock · 19/03/2025 19:30

This is probably a Safeguarding Adults referral and surely if the carer has been arrested, why can’t new carers be found to provide the care needed in his known environment which will be much better for him.
The alternative action a social worker could and probably should have taken due to your DFs dementia is a placement in a dementia care home, even if only temporarily while new carers are found.
What does your DF want to happen next, is he able to make an informed choice or is his cognition so poor that he cannot say?
Has a mental capacity assessment regarding his ability to make an informed choice about where he lives been completed?
I cannot understand why he would be removed from a property he owns, and if a social worker has made this decision it is their responsibility to source a suitable place for him to stay. Who was supposed to pay for the BnB?

irishbloodenglishparts · 19/03/2025 19:31

Social services will not have removed him from his home with no plan, talk to his social worker.

Namechangetry · 19/03/2025 19:33

This makes no sense.

If the carer has been removed arrested and he owns the property, why would social care put him in a B&B?

Original poster
TheGreenJoker · 19/03/2025 19:33

IfIHadAHeart · 19/03/2025 19:20

If he owns his house why can’t you go there with him?

Because I have. Disabled child as well

OP posts:
JLou08 · 19/03/2025 19:37

Unless he lacks capacity, no one can stop him returning to his own home against his will. If he lacks capacity then it's likely that he needs a lot of care so should be in a care home. This doesn't sound right at all. Are you sure you have the full story?

RoastDinnerSmellsNice · 19/03/2025 19:41

Is your child so severely disabled that it wouldn't be possible for you and your DC to move in with your Dad at his place until another carer can be found for him OP?

Original poster
TheGreenJoker · 19/03/2025 19:43

Namerequired · 19/03/2025 19:21

Can you move in with him. Are there other risks at his property other than the carer?

Yep it’s 50 miles away. And I have a disabled child also

OP posts:
Original poster
TheGreenJoker · 19/03/2025 19:43

RoastDinnerSmellsNice · 19/03/2025 19:41

Is your child so severely disabled that it wouldn't be possible for you and your DC to move in with your Dad at his place until another carer can be found for him OP?

Yes

OP posts:
wheretoyougonow · 19/03/2025 19:43

This doesn’t make any sense. Social services do not have the power to remove someone from their own property and make them homeless regardless of any situation.

BobbyBiscuits · 19/03/2025 19:47

So he still legally owns the house? The carer should be been removed and replaced, rather than him having to leave. Could you move in there with him along with another reliable carer who visits each day?

MistressoftheDarkSide · 19/03/2025 19:50

Hi OP, sounds horrendous and not that unbelievable given the shenanigans I've had regarding my Dad regarding housing with our local council.

If possible go over to the Elderly Parents board where more knowledgeable people can be really helpful.

Whitelight25 · 19/03/2025 20:13

Sorry if I'm missing something but can't your dad go back to his own home with a new carer?

parietal · 19/03/2025 20:54

So is your dad’s property now sitting empty? Do you have power of attorney for your dad? You might be able to rent out his property and use the rent to pay for him to have a care home place. But it will take a while to set that up.

what level of care does he need?

Lightuptheroom · 19/03/2025 22:41

I'm confused.
Social services don't remove people from homes that they own.
If they've assessed that he's at risk if home alone then they would either have arranged alternative carers or arranged a temporary assessment bed in a care home whilst they work out what his needs actually are. Does he have a diagnosis of dementia and does he still have capacity? If he does still have capacity, then they can't 'make' him go anywhere. The offer from the council may have been refused by him?
Who told you they were offering him a b&b and do they have the appropriate information?
Ring his social worker tomorrow and ask them what the care plan is going forward.
Unfortunately your landlord can state that they don't want additional tenants in the property. Make clear to your dads social worker that the 'duty of care' lies with the local authority and that you cannot provide any assistance.

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