To be annoyed by someone taking over who stepped down at meetings

[pussinboots61]

I am on the Committee for the tenants and residents meetings on the estate where I live. Prior to October last year I supported the secretary and she did the main work. I typed up the minutes and did the newsletters as she doesn't have a laptop and is unable to do it.

At the annual general meeting last October she stood down and I was voted in as the secretary. She offered to support me. However, nothing has changed. I am still doing the IT stuff which I said I would keep on anyway but she is still acting as the main secretary, leading all the meetings, wanting documents sending to her for approving etc. She's just acting like she's in charge.

Last week I told her that I ought to have a key for the centre as she and all the other Commiittee members have one. She is no longer on the Committee even but won't give up her keys. I had one cut from hers. I got to the meeting earlier last night to get things ready but she was already there sorting everything out.

A friend of mine has advised that I need to have a word with her and some of the others in the meetings have noticed that she's taking over too and I am starting to feel like a fool. She is a nice person and I don't want to upset her. How can I deal with this? Thank you.

Presumably there’s a chair? Speak to them. Or alternatively suggest a discussion on the clarity of responsibilities / key holders / etc on the next agenda and discuss it in an open forum in a more general way, without attacking her, and reach agreement with the rest of the committee there.

It's unusual to have a surplus of people willing to help. A quiet word that you've appreciated her help in handover but feel ready to fly solo would be best. Might be useful if you could ask her to still support a very specific task as it's too tricky for you... pick whatever you don't like doing.

Thank you for your replies. Just an update. I did speak to this lady the other night, arranged a meeting with her. She said that I am the secretary and she doesn't think any different. She just didn't want to leave things that she had started for me to deal with. She said she doesn't want to tread on my toes. So things have been sorted now.

Sounds like you handled it well @pussinboots61, well done.