Teachers who have watched 'Adolescence'- what are your thoughts?

[Fstt1978]

Had an interesting experience this week after watching this at the weekend

sanctioned 4 boys this week with a demerit each - for pushing and shoving in the corridor- swearing loudly and generally being gobby to me.
All 4 boys parents have written emails to say it's unfair/ I'm picking on them etc etc. As it was 4 of them- none of them can be singled out.
We also have a boy caught on CCTV physically assaulting a much younger student unprovoked - it is categorically an assault- with the victims parents pressing charges. He has been permanently excluded and his parents have instructed a solicitor to contest this.

What is going on with parenting boys? Girls sanctioned rarely have parents like this - this is NOT a goady thread- I am genuinely really interested , and open to discussion about it

Jeez, that’s utterly terrifying. Andrew Tate in primary schools is horrendous.

God I pray for change. We have to be the catalysts but I fear too many people don’t agree.

That's where i found it to be flawed for possibly dramatic purposes. I would have thought a boy witnessing a loving relationship between his parents, would be less vulnerable to this stuff, but i dont know the stats

I don't think it entirely resonates with the school my youngest goes to and the school my eldest did go to but we live in a City and specifically the part of the City that is known to be socially tolerant and inclusive. My son is at sixth form college now and doesn't know anyone that has leanings towards the manosphere ideology, in fact it is he opposite way of thinking. He does know someone from sixth form college class who went to a school on the outskirts that is mockingly referred to as the 'dumping ground' and lots of boys were impacted by this ideology, the only benefit of which was that they all joined the chess club.

I agree with Bringmeahigherlove's comment that the protrayal was insulting to most secondary teachers . The teachers I've worked with manage their classes with care and good humour . The ones portrayed seemed like nervous wrecks ! I also thought it was insulting to the majority of teenagers who are much more interested and caring than shown . The overuse of video also seemed a criticism of current teaching which is so closely monitored these days that would never be allowed . Having said all that I think its a wonderful series and the lead actors are superb they must surely all get the highest awards.

Don’t mean to pick on your post but I read it and I’m really interested. What sort of things does your 9yo do and say that don’t sit right with you?

I work in a secondary school and it is nothing like the school on there thank goodness. There are some difficult kids and some being influenced by the likes of Andrew Tate unfortunately, but behaviour is taken very seriously and there is a lot of support.

DS's primary school had a real boy problem around yr 5/6 though, the thing most of them had in common was that their parents had divorced in the last few years and I think this has more of an impact on boys than perhaps parents realise.

They also all had unrestricted use of SM and the internet - the issue that is really at the heart of most of our current problems IMO - and parents just think there's nothing they can do because they won't make the difficult decisions for their kids best interests. Popularity and making sure their kid isn't missing out on anything is where most parents priorities lie. And they themselves spend all their time checking their phones just as much as their kids do.

Personally, as a parent of teens, I don't really know how you cannot be aware of the dangers of this stuff, I mean we aren't living in 2016 anymore. Which makes me think many don't actively take an interest or permit it or even worse agree with it.

I had to sign a 'contract' when my daughter went to Secondary school to say I agreed with their behaviour policy and the way sanctions were implemented. I think this should be introduced everywhere. You also need an SLT that is firm and unwavering on their implementation of behavioural issues. Parents need to be told where to go - and to take their kids with them - if they don't conform to school policy. Teachers deserve respect and shouldn't have to negotiate to get it.

I have indeed @AstroZomb1e
In fact, I’m fire fighting it quite a lot recently. I actively show things / celebrate where girls have been successful for example in football, to try and break those barriers down.
My favourite was a boy who continuously took the mick out of girls playing football. When I came back with the Lionesses and how far they’d got in the World Cup, that shut him up. Another pupil commented that he had been ‘roasted’ and he looked embarrassed 🤷‍♀️
Violence is also commonplace.

As another poster said, when you meet some of the fathers, you see why…

And there was an act of violence by a female pupil on a male pupil.
To me the school episode highlighted the chaos found in some teenage minds, the lack of control, the outbursts etc and the fact that adults really don't have a clue what's going on, with the rise of social media. V sad.

and why is that?

I have boys
i would always respect a schools decision ( mine never got into trouble though 😇)

My cousin has girls
Very entitled, get in trouble a lot but apparently my cousin thinks it’s never their fault

Id like to think it’s got nothing to do with ‘those that parent boys’ and more to do with just some parents

You think girls are entitled?

More discipline
Very strict

You don’t open the door for a teacher and you’re in detention ( at my kids anyway ) for example.

I was referencing a personal example if you read my post

I am a child exploitation social worker. This was such a realistic portrayal of schools, young people and the parents that I come into contact with on a regular basis. It should be mandatory for the parents of all children to watch. We need to start talking to young people about their experiences and about the misogyny that is rife today. Resources are already available to use in order to challenge the Andrew Tate narrative. I bloody hate that man!

Portrayal of teachers, school admin very poor. There seemed to be a stereotypical menopausal vibe about the female staff - & the men disinterested. All staff inept & clueless.

School itself was modern & clean. The school “problems” were predictable and of there was of course the expected “cafeteria bullying ” of the Sen kid in class hi-jinx and no teacher in room- apparently no teaching at all, just watching videos.

It was all a bit predictable and I don’t think a true reflection. The series did not “ring true” for me / the family, the issues … all felt forced and superficial.

No instead you just keep a collection of nude photos you’ve pressured off girls 🙄

People have to stop acting like bad shit doesn’t happen in private schools for gods sakes and face up to the serious issues they have.

I’m a secondary teacher and a mum of two boys (10 and 13). I’ve only seen the first episode but u cried most of the way through- for everyone- the child, the dad, the people who have to try to wade through these messes.
My youngest doesn’t have a phone; my eldest knows he has to hand over his phone at night and whenever I want to check it (which I do most days). We pay for it; it’s our phone. He doesn’t have TikTok etc and I talk to them all the time about what’s out there online, how you can’t unsee stuff, how these things are echo chambers, how things are edited and distorted and not real. I try not to do it in a preachy way. I think the most important thing to do is keep talking to them and listening. Often if a student or one of my kids is kicking off I might ask them what they need to tell me. I tell them I’ve heard and seen it all before and I might be sad but I won’t be shocked. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I’m sure I’m not getting everything right but I think openness is key.

Do you mind flagging some resources here?
It might help a lot of us who have young boys to guide.

It started off with things like “boys are better than girls” when he was much younger, which I suppose some might say is normal and typical but it still needed challenging. More recently it’s been repeating song lyrics that talk about women’s bodies in less than respectful ways. I don’t even know the songs half the time and when I ask where he’s heard them, it’s usually “I can’t remember” or he hasn’t actually heard the song itself but other people singing it. I monitor his screen time and YouTube etc closely and he doesn’t have access to the adult YouTube account, and still he repeats it. Again, I know children have always repeated song lyrics but he definitely understands what they mean and knows I would not find it acceptable, so sometimes it feels as if he’s doing it to purposely wind me up, which also somehow feels like a slightly gendered thing to do (I’m sorry, I’m shattered and can’t think of how to explain that properly, so I hope I’m making sense!) He’s also said things that I would expect to hear in the 1950s, like asking his dad why he does all the shopping when that’s a woman’s job. Thankfully DP challenged that one so I didn’t have to, and he was very apologetic afterwards. Hopefully he’s learnt from it but honestly I’m feeling so hopeless in general right now.

Are you aware that a lot of teens bahaving badly are doing so out of fear because they can't do the work because they have fallen behind and no one is helping them?

Absolutely not true. Lots of teens use "I don't get it" as a quick route out of doing what they've been asked. When I then ask "which part don't you understand" or "which question are you on" the most common reply is "dunno". They don't know because they haven't tried. We need to start valuing effort made.

Teachers spend hours trying to help kids, trying to catch them up, sitting next to them, trying to support. I've lost track of the number of students who turn around even when I'm sat next to them, to have a conversation about the weekend.

I think another issue is the recruitment crisis. The latest teacher we recruited is damaging to the kids because she is so bad but the university passed her. When I have contacted providers before about student teachers not being competent enough to pass the course I have been told no one fails their PGCE. I now teach 50% of Yr10 in a specially converted room because he was actually taking them backwards. That’s 80 kids in a room and 80 books to mark each week.
A lot of the legacy issues with behaviour at my school is years of cover or non subjects specialists where no one took ownership of a class so no one marked their books or made them feel wanted.
The job is also now so unappealing that it’s a miracle anyone applies for training.
I think the show was scarily accurate.

Thanks. That’s really interesting.

I wonder where it comes from? Did you ask him why he thought shopping was a woman’s job?

To be honest I believed we’d turned a corner with sexism. Obviously I know it still exists. It’s quite eye opening.