Asking house prices - is it me that is the issue?

[Happywife9]

AIBU to think its uncomfortable to walk into some ones house and ask - ‘so how much is this house worth then’? First time visiting, first line upon entering the house.

(I do not know how much it is worth as we bought it 10 years ago and it has not been valued recently)

Same person asked me ‘how much did you sell your flat for’ (recent sale) - I feel uncomfortable talking about money so said ‘sorry, cannot remember’. They kept asking me and it was obvious I was trying to change the subject.

This same person has made comments about my engagement ring cost, older car, buy in cost of my business, which golf course my husband is a member of and its cost, looked up how much my honeymoon cost, commented on how ‘cheap’ my wedding dress was (could not believe I would go with second hand) - it is really boring and exhausting to continue having conversations with this person.

I admittedly find money as a topic triggering and wondered if its a normal topic of conversation and indeed, if I have been rude in some way by being vague / evasive with my answers.

It's odd to ask when you can just go on zoopla and check yourself

In the U.K. your attitude is normal.

in other countries theirs is. Are they British?

It’s really rude - I have a friend who asks me how much I pay for stuff that comes in conversation. Like “do you have a cleaner” “how much do you pay” same person asked me what I pay for the gym, childcare, the list goes on. When I answer they just look incredulous and tell me it’s a lot, like I’m not asking you to pay what’s it to you.

Maybe say “hmm I’m not sure actually”

I have been married 6 years, engaged 2 before and have NO idea how much my ring cost. DH designed it and had it custom made and I don’t want to spoil it by asking how much it cost. I told him I’ve insured it for X sum and he was happy with that.

Just tell them to stop being so bloody nosey!

It's incredibly rude to ask this stuff.

We once had a house guest from another country that was quite comfortable asking these questions and researching the area. I must admit, I do love to see other people's homes, and I do get curious about costs, but I sneak off to rightmove to satisfy that unreasonable curiosity!

Some people are weird about money and somehow equate it with the measure/success of a person. I was in my front garden one day last summer when a woman pulled up to view a little victorian terrace over the road. She asked me about the street which is a lovely mix of large detached and smaller victorian houses. She told me after viewing the house it was riddled with damp and vastly overpriced. I sympathised then she went on to tell me I must be so disappointed to be in an area of failing house prices and I must be so sad about all the money I had 'lost' on my house. Being as I had been in my house 20 years and wasn't selling selling I thought this really weird!

You can just Google it. I’ll tell anyone who asks , it’s not a secret. Who cares really?

It sounds like you need to be direct with this person and tell her you're not comfortable talking about money.

Sorry I'm not awake, didn't mean to quote that!

I think talking house prices is okay as this is usually available info online. A friend was saying their DD was looking to buy a flat in London and I asked how much they were looking to pay, I hope they don't feel it was nosy, it's more out of interest in the house market and DCs trying to get on the housing ladder.

I wouldn't ask about the other stuff though.

I had a colleague ask me three times how much my engagement ring cost, as her memory isn't very good. Very annoying!

I agree that house prices are very public though.

I find the secrecy around money in the UK quite bizarre. I think personally it’s at the heart of why some people end up overpaying for trades, why people spend years in jobs underpaid, why people stay stuck in phone contracts etc overpaying. I would prefer a place where people were more at ease discussing these things.
That said, it’s not socially acceptable to be seen to be doing well. Or at least, not too well. It invokes jealousy, so I guess that’s why it would never change.

I find house prices really interesting, and probably wouldn’t need to ask because I’m nosey as hell and would just look online at what someone’s house sold for / is worth, if I was curious. I do find mortgage interest rates interesting though - particularly since Truss sent the market crazy. I used my findings from those conversations to benchmark what was / was not a good deal for myself.

This same person has made comments about my engagement ring cost, older car, buy in cost of my business, which golf course my husband is a member of and its cost, looked up how much my honeymoon cost, commented on how ‘cheap’ my wedding dress was (could not believe I would go with second hand) - it is really boring and exhausting to continue having conversations with this person.

"stop asking me private financial information, I do not want to discuss what I see as private financial information with you, stop asking", no i am not being over sensitive, stop asking, its inappropriate.

This wouldn’t bother me but I’m Irish. I have probably annoyed people with similar questions in Britain but if they told me to bog off I wouldn’t be offended.

It’s jealousy and insecurity from the “you must be loaded” brigade. I get it from certain people every time I have something new or nice even if it didn’t cost that much. The best was when I won a TV competition for full hospitality tickets for an event, hardly told anyone I won it, posted all the photos and waited to see if the people I predicted commented on the cost of it or how I “must be loaded”. I was completely correct and revelled in telling them it was free!

Just say I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.

It's a bit cheeky.

But to be honest, I used to do the same thing myself. For a long time I lived in rented accommodation, so had very little experience of the cost of something like "calling out a plumber" or "getting a new bathroom", because I'd never had to do it.

A close friend had a little run on having to pay out for things like that, and I wanted to know the costs. Just out of curiosity and for future knowledge. It never really occurred to me that some might see it as a cheeky ask until she said something like "Why do you always want to know how much something costs?" in a faintly accusatory tone.

And because I'm not completely socially inept, I got the memo, and never asked again.

As you can look on Zoopla most people aren't cagey about it anymore

I discuss prices with my friends.