What is your household income, how much is benefits, and how are you coping?

[Gabrilla]

Genuinely curious after so many threads on here about benefit changes. Please feel free to name change!

I’ll start:

Salaries for both of us total 90k. Only benefits are £102 month child benefit, though we also get tax-free childcare and 15hrs free at nursery.

Total income is about 6k a month, mortgage and bills 3k, nursery 1k, commuting costs £500, groceries cost £500, husband pays CMS and other bits to his children totalling about £500 leaving us about £500 for everything else.

Feels like we’re constantly penny-pinching.

Honestly this is why people find life long disability benefits so ludicrous in so many ways and why the reaction has been to cut them.

You couldn’t possibly manage to work in any capacity what so ever but can have 4 very young children and care for them full time.

People want to support the people who genuinely can’t work but pretty much everyone here is a mother and to choose to have 4 very close in age children while claiming you aren’t capable for work is just insanity.

Exactly. This matters much, much, much more than anyone's personal opinion on whether it's a nice problem to have, or whether they sympathise.

The same is also true of all the instances where people are disincentivised from working.

I’m really not, because I’m aware that those who earn less are supported by benefits. What I’m not understanding is why you’d be envious or bothered about that.

I’m not hard done to because somebody who earns less than me is getting government support to live, because I’m fortunate to not need that support.

Yep we pay slightly more tax.

£45,000 + child benefit. Nothing else.

You cut your cloth. For instance we have a small house in a cheapish area. We chose one child because we knew if we had more, it would significantly affect our quality of life. We don't run a car. Etc etc.

At £45,000 we have options though. At £90,000 you definitely have options (whether you like them or not). At £10,000 you have no options.

Not that I have to explain myself to you but the reasons I cannot work were not impacting my life in the way they are now before I chose to have my children. Nor was there any way for me to know things would become so bad, so quickly.

It’s about the salary comparison, that’s the entire point of the thread.
OP thought £90k went further than it does, this is exasperated by comments like yours saying “people earn 1/10th of that” when they reality is they don’t actually live on 1/10th of OP’s income.
People think 90k is significantly more than it is because they compare it to a 20k salary without accounting for all the additional benefits the lower income family receive on top.

I understand all that, but you really can’t expect the average person to have sympathy for someone deciding whether to earn £100k or £80k.

Or being upset for them that they have to pay for their childcare.

It strikes me that if OP, or any other higher earner, was worse off financially and complaining about nursery costs, this conversation wouldn’t be about unfairness, they’d be being told not to have kids they can’t afford.

could you care for other people’s children like this person?

So were you working until after you had your fourth child or did you have a fourth child despite feeling you were incapable of work?
If you have 2 children of preschool age you must have only become unfit for work in the last year for your disability to have not impacted your family planning.

Nope. Sorry. If you can care for 4 children. Or someone else’s child. You can work. The end.

My wage is only 15k and universal credit is 9k a year. Child benefit £102 a month. Rent is £1150 a month for a two bed house. Bills come to £450 a month. I have a dd living with me and I get child maintenance, £150 a month. We have a lovely standard of living and I manage to save every month and we eat out at least once a month. Not sure how I manage it but I imagine it’s because I don’t have a car or pay childcare!

We have the good fortune to be retired. Income of around £55k, no mortgage, empty nesters. We live very well on this. Life was much financially harder when we were younger, especially when we had two at university. All I can say to those of you on 100k with big mortgages is hang on in there, once everything is paid off you really will be quids in.

Lol no worries. Not what several professionals who actually know my medical history and have assessed me as being unable to work have decided but sure, I'll believe the opinion of some keyboard warrior on Mumsnet 🤣

I’ve got a friend with a spinal condition. She is in a wheelchair. She has carers. She also has 2 children. She cannot care for them independently and has support to do that. Fine. Perfect in fact. She also works.

But someone saying I can’t work but I can care for 4 children independently. No.

Someone who says I can’t work but I can care for someone else child. No.

Two people on this thread just like that. And you can guarantee those 4 kids are being propped up by people like me who chose to have what I could afford. I hope the govt does go after this nonsense.

I'm in ireland so I don't have council or water tax. My house is air to water so only pay around 150 a month for electric and gas, our phones are 20 a month, bins are 15, sky is 30, amazon is 15, health insurance is subsidised so around 15 a month. Then I have a few smaller bills for classes/ activities for my son.

Perhaps ask them why you can’t work as say, a child minder, when you can look after 4 kids. Make it make sense.

My household income is similar to OPs.

One of my staff is on circa £24k - she is a single mother of 2, supported by benefits. Her childcare costs are subsidised, she gets UC, all the things we’ve been talking about.

I can tell you with absolute certainty that there is still more money at the end of my month. We, as a company, bought the girl food last month. I would still, with no offence meant to her, rather be in my boat. I am completely unbothered that her benefits supplement her income.

If you have £90k coming into your house, and can’t afford hair dye - you need to rebudget. Somewhere in that situation is money that is unnecessarily being spent, and could be saved.

I’m not saying that from some high and mighty place - I live exactly to my means too. But I know I do, I know they’re higher than the person I’ve just described, and I know that makes me fortunate. I wouldn’t be asking for sympathy for choosing to do things that mean my money gets spent.

My cloth could be cut, and if we’re fair - so could OPs.

I was working until after I had my third child and returned to work when they were 8 months old. Then got pregnant again due to a migrated coil (not that anybody asked but I'm sure there are people who wouldn't hesitate to rudely ask about my contraception methods) My fourth child is only a few months old. And correct I have only recently started receiving these benefits and been declared unfit for work. I'm not going to explain what my disability/medical conditions are. Currently waiting for consultants to decide on the next steps to see which medication might help. Believe me I would love to work! For the mental health benefits if nothing else.

I don't have to "make it make sense". And being a childminder is very different from looking after your own children. I have help from family and my partner for a start.

PIP is for long term disabling health conditions. Not something you have recently been diagnosed with and certainly not something that remains under review. The evidence wouldn’t qualify you based on what you’ve said here.

Ah so your situation is literally nothing like the woman I originally replied to who is caring for someone else’s child? What a waste of everyone’s time that was.

I’ve got to agree with this.
our household income isn’t much more than half of OP’s and we’re not eligible for benefits the same way they are.

it seems that the middle are paying for both the low earners and to top up the higher earners too.

I haven’t read the full thread, but I imagine this has been pointed out before. But, a 6-figure salary should not allow you to claim additional benefits. And, if it does, you shouldn’t be complaining about it.

I don't get PIP.

And yes it is for long term conditions. This can include recently diagnosed ones. And ones which people continue to see medical professionals about and try different medication options. Where are you getting these ideas from? You think people only get awarded disability benefits if they've always had a disability or long term medical condition and never see doctors or have medication changes??

So you don’t claim disability benefits. You don’t care for someone else’s children. What’s your point again? Because you’ve got literally nothing in common with the person I replied too who is claiming disability benefits because they cannot work and is simultaneously caring for someone else’s child.