What is your household income, how much is benefits, and how are you coping?

[Gabrilla]

Genuinely curious after so many threads on here about benefit changes. Please feel free to name change!

I’ll start:

Salaries for both of us total 90k. Only benefits are £102 month child benefit, though we also get tax-free childcare and 15hrs free at nursery.

Total income is about 6k a month, mortgage and bills 3k, nursery 1k, commuting costs £500, groceries cost £500, husband pays CMS and other bits to his children totalling about £500 leaving us about £500 for everything else.

Feels like we’re constantly penny-pinching.

I rarely venture into AIBU ..... but I'm stuck on a train.

YABU OP, really you are. I have a similar level of income as a long time single parent to two kids. Never had any benefits, currently supporting my DC through uni (which the system expects through reduction of loan amounts) to the tune of more than your nursery fees each month, despite the fact that they both have p/t jobs because they need to study more than they need to work imo.

We live a nice life and I feel thankful every day.

I agree things are getting tougher. Luckily I’ve paid off my student loan but I worry for the next generation.

Sometimes I think “only x years til we can move and downsize” but then I read threads on here about how young adults can’t afford to move out. SC’s mum and her partner are low earners, presumably on UC, so maybe we will be expected to house SC into their 20s and beyond.

Of course a similar income with less outgoings will feel better off.
If your kids are at uni then you likely bought your home at least a decade before the OP, possibly even two which is the largest difference in lifestyles.
How much is your mortgage payment on your home taking out of your income?

You’re right! The children each have one extra curricular and all they need. I’d love to be able to give them a better lifestyle than I had but their needs are met.

Why has he dropped £15Kpa from his salary compared to when you met him?

That doesn't sound good especially as you now have children together.

It does make him seem as if he's not faced the reality of the costs of two families and isn't doing much to increase his salary.

Our income is about 132k and we still get child benefit as I have pre tax car payment that gets below threshold.
fairly large mortgage payment but house feels ‘worth’ it.
Three teenagers- enough said - they cost a lot!
Holidays are a big expense, we usually go abroad once per year and maybe 2 holidays in UK.

Why has his income dropped so much?

You could get one in many parts of the North of England. I'm in South Yorkshire and there are loads of properties in or under that price range.

Not sure many people who have less than 3k a month for everything are also paying 1k a month nursery bills out of that.

I’d love to show you all my financial spreadsheets. Absolute works of art, colour coded, formulas everywhere, linked cells, various scenarios played out with various amounts of dividends etc….
BUT it’s too personal and also everyone would be cross because DH earns lots of money.

You never had any child benefit or maternity pay? Most people with DC your age would've been entitled to both. Were you not in the UK at that time or was it a visa conditions thing?

@Gabrilla I think this was perfectly clear. You have just committed the Mumsnet cardinal sin of being a step parent and having a relatively high income.

Our household income is 46k. Get child benefit but nothing else.

I expect that my spare cash is greater than yours though as I have a small house in a cheap area. We have holidays but I try to budget 1k a year to cover Easter, summer and October (,in total, not each!) so we are talking cheap caravan holidays and premier inns.

I think this is an interesting thread and you sound entirely reasonable. You are in your high outlay phase while we go through a cost of living crisis. I think people see the numbers only but take little account of regional differences in housing cost and the impact of childcare.

It was a company that went under during Covid. The role required him to work abroad for weeks at a time, during Covid his eldest started having mental health / behaviour issues and his ex asked him to change work to be more consistent which he agreed to. Local work doesn’t pay as much.

Combined household income of husband working full time, me part time and rental income of £139,000. Also child benefit but I have to pay that back.

I earn more than my husband (only by about £5k as he also has the rental income) but he pays a fortune for three other kids so he's always broke.

Well yes, having two families, running two houses and having multiple children is very expensive.

It's odd how this is suprise.

Everyone seems to think modern blended familes are just a marvellous example of progression and not the money sucking child misery machine they actaully are.

Incoming:

Salary - £2200
UC - £1500
Scottish Child Payment - £425
Child Benefit - £305
ADP - £290
Total: £4720

Outgoing:

Mortgage - £1120
Food/general shopping - £600
Fuel - £200
Bills - £400
Council Tax - £120 (we get a reduction so it should be around £260)
Gas & electricity - £150
Loan (for a new car) - £150
Nursery - £615
Total - £3355

We're managing just fine :)

I earn 160-205k (depending on my bonus). We (me, DH and DS) do fine on that but I don't feel wealthy. Mortgage is £2k, other bills and things about another thousand on top. I spend £700 a month on food.

As a PP said the big thing is when you bought your house. Our outstanding mortgage is about 400k but the house is nice and worth about a million, basically all that equity (less the 7k deposit we put up for the first flat) is because we bought at a good time and made lots of money on each move. Starting out now I honestly think I'd feel like whats the point. I have a very busy and stressful job that I had to study hard for and I am not sure it stacks up now if that wouldn't even cover much in the way of savings or luxuries once you've bought an insanely overpriced house.

We had a similar income, although I have since been made redundant it's now £55k
Our total outgoings include mortgage, bills, food, commuting, car insurances, Mots etc are £2k. Our cars are 12 years old and were both bought outright. My daughter started school in September prior to that nursery was £400-1100 a month depending on how much of the month was covered by funded hours.

Until 8-10 years ago our house hold income was £25k a year as we were both on PhD stipends although as they were stipends not wages there was no deductions for tax, ni and student loans. We are in position we are in now as when we did get jobs and earning more we prioritised overpaying our mortgage. We wanted children and knew we would never have as much disposable income as we had then, savings rates were pants so we kept our lifestyle close to our student lifestyle and in 4 years we had massively reduced our mortgage, saved quite a bit and also had fun and holidays. We had our daughter and managed to make the move to a 4-5 bed detached with a 60% deposit and have felt the benefit in lower repayments now.

We have a spreadsheet which includes all annual costs as well as monthly costs so our car insurance, tax and Mots are already accounted for in the budget which helps to iron out the peaks and troughs of costs. We have a bills account and the amount we pay in accounts for the annual costs. We are coming up to a cluster of car costs and the money is already there. It might help you feel less blindsided by bills if the annual stuff is set aside monthly. You could set up a separate account for annual costs that you pay in monthly

We are a household of 2, earn about 60k between us, no children by choice a big factor is the cost.

Manage quite well but we don't splash the cash, 2nd hand cars paid out right, a few weekends away a year, sometimes we go abroad for a week, but go fairly cheaply, quite like a Greek island. Can afford the occasional luxury, but we don't eat out regularly, get takeaways or drink takeaway coffee. Take home made lunches to work etc. Do treat myself to a meal subscription box once in a while

@littleorangefox
*Salary - £2200
UC - £1500
Scottish Child Payment - £425
Child Benefit - £305
ADP - £290
Total: £4720

We're managing just fine :)*

I’m not surprised.

I do find it crazy that families can earn a relatively small portion of OP’s and then be topped up to almost 80% of OP’s take home.

It truly is a nuts system sometimes and there are times when it just doesn’t actually pay that much to work.

This is why some people are so quick to moan about it being “tone deaf” for someone to comment on the buying power of a £90k salary these days, because the reality is they assume it’s 3 times the amount but actually a family earning 1/3 of OP’s income are left with a fairly similar amount of money at the end of the month. Probably stings even more when OP’s family have to work 2 full time jobs for only 1k more than a family on 2 part time jobs and benefits.

It's not really crazy when you have a disability which prevents you from working.

Nothing 'off' about having to buy second hand on £90k
Household income £200k and I buy second hand. We go on camping holidays. drive an old car.
We get no benefits and taxed to fuck.

Living in SE and houses where we are are super expensive. We were lucky to buy our house before things exploded round here and its value doubled in 10 years. We could not afford it now.

Income 4765 includes child benefit of 170
2 adults, 2 teens

*Mortgage, water, council tax, utilities, insurance, boiler cover, appliance cover 1068
*2 pets insurance, food, care, 185
*Diesel, dvla, insurance, breakdown 135
*Life insurance 70
*Food 500 (2 adults, 2 teens, 1 elderly)
*Internet, mobiles, insurance 208
*Savings 250
*Travel school/work 100
*Lunch money (1 teen) 48
*Clothes 50
*Sundries 186
*Loan 360 (house renovation)
*Lessons 205
*Spend 800
*Holiday fund 500
*Uncertainties fund 100 (eg car service, something needs fixing/servicing)

I know we are extremely blessed and we weren't always in this position. We drive a very old car, hardly buy clothes and live a simple life. However we do prioritise holidays and have 3 a year but nothing extravagant. I research for months to get things at bargain prices and even on these we cook at Base and never eat out.

I hear you on this. I’ve got friends a few years younger than me who are paying 15% of their gross income to student loans.

I could, in theory, work really hard and get up to 100k in a couple of years. But I’d have to be commuting into London (over 1k a month for a railcard for two days a week) work very long hours, I’d lose child benefit, tax free childcare and funded hours… I might end up £500 a month better off. That’s not worth it to miss the time with my baby, not right now anyway.

About 37k pre-deductions combined (1 full time, 1 part time freelance at home - low pay). No other income. No child but 1 spoilt large dog. 1 x basic 11 year old car. Shared ownership house (60% mortgage, rest you pay rent for). We've got a credit card and got a 2k personal loan for the car. Don't use credit card too much but now and again - broken TV etc. 3 bed terrace in a cheaper bit of York (still not cheap compared to proper cheaper housing towns). Enough to get by but no massive holidays or easy to pay big house repairs if they come up. Early 30s. I guess having kids can be a medium to huge cost depending on how you do it. I'm not moaning but you do see loads of people on here with 6 figure income and it is like.....wow. Most people stretch their lifestyle to match their means, give or take. That's why it never seems to be enough.