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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want a Country Living lifestyle?

498 replies

meditatingwithdolly · 18/03/2025 20:57

This is lighthearted. I've had a series of unfortunate events in the last year and have moved to a very deprived area with a lot of social problems, which is probably causing me to fantasise a bit more than usual. Subscribed to Country Living magazine on a whim as it was very heavily discounted. One of the highlights of the month is hearing it fall on the doorstep and I have to grab it quickly before it gets stolen. It provides wonderful escapism, the sky is blue all year around, everyone is sooo happy washing rocks in rivers and the animals are never PITAs, unlike my pets. No one ever has money problems, and the cost of living is an afterthought as sustainability and self-equilibrium are the utmost priority.

Women have lovely, fulfilling jobs that "they stumbled upon entirely by accident" eg Jilly, who was always very frustrated by the lack of solar heated plant pots for her oriental orchids that she fell in love with on her travels in SE Asia, and one day whilst walking her collie-cross dog Shep in her 50 acre paddock, she stepped in wild horse dung and had the wonderful idea to give up her full time job and start a sustainable business making her own handmade pots from dung. She did the completely obvious thing of untying her neck scarf, filling it up with as much dung as she could find, and carried it back to her 6th century renaissance 12 bedroom house, where her husband Robert greeted her with a warm smile at the site of her Dick Whittington style knapsack, and immediately started building her a cosy workshop-cum-snug where she hosts the local edible flower supper club 3 nights a week, when she's not up to her elbows in excrement. She had no idea if her £199 pots would take off, and was most shocked when she had 10,000 orders in her first week.

No one needs a business plan or a budget, peace of mind and a sense of zen is much more important than bringing in a wage. Forty two year old Carol was so stressed by her teaching job that she just handed in her notice and planted 40,000 carrots in her small holding. Originally intended to be a business, Carol admits sheepishly that she's so fond of each one (who she has given names to) that she cannot bear to part with them. "My husband Marcus jokes that they are my babies", she laughs, "but in reality it's true. These carrots have regulated my sensory nervous system, which the daily grind of work had just worn away. I simply had to give in to what my body was telling me. Watching each and every one of them grow and develop their own little personalities is nature's way of giving back to me".

First world problems keep these people awake at night, such as 31 year old Jackie, who couldn't find curtains for the nursery that reflected the personality of her unborn son. "I really sensed that he he felt a deep connection with the Ottoman empire, and I was just flabbergasted at the lack of relevant material on the market", she laments. At 39 weeks, she jumped upon a flight to Istanbul, after having a dream that the perfect print was in Topkapi Palace. "Everyone thought I was utterly mad", she laughs, but when she was hypnotized by the Turkish style tulip motif tiles in the palace state room, baby Freddie shot out of her uterus, confirming to her that this was the perfect print for the nursery. Three hours after giving birth she opened her business designing bespoke curtains for equally distressed parents-to-be. "They understood the stress as they were undergoing the same thing. Being able to relate to them really helped me zone into what it was that they really wanted. Sometimes words aren't enough, you have to be able to finely tune stress signals others are giving out in order to see their vision". Jackie (and baby Freddie) now work out of her garden studio, and she has been commissioned by the Royal Family to produce the perfect print for sash window in King Charles' water closet. "Every morning I wake up with a warmth that radiates throughout my body, and I love that Freddie has input in my work, this is all because of him, really".

AIBU to want to a job like this? Where everything is a lovely colour and all the materials are made of earthen clay and rare plant dyes? No money problems, no annoying customers, no bins that haven't been lifted by the council (there's no need for a bin anyway, all rubbish is fully compostable). Do people really have a business where people pay to meditate with sheep, or is Country Living an entertaining work of fiction?

OP posts:
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20
Backforawhile · 04/06/2025 23:49

OP you made me laugh out loud 🤣

I remember once seeing a headline on the front of Country Living (or some similar magazine” that said “Our Desperate Search For a Second Pony” 🤣

Endlessdogbowlsandbones · 05/06/2025 00:08

WiddlinDiddlin · 04/06/2025 19:23

The one I keep coming across (I don't look for their content!)...

Appear to imply that they fund their barefoot chickens and ponies and baking and adorable children (eldest in boarding school naturally) lifestyle... by making and selling wicker tiny tots basket saddles and sheepskin saddle pads...

Which they don't in fact make themselves, they just re-sell..

Nothing wrong with that as a business idea but the idea you can support that lifestyle on selling two very very niche, tiny market products is utter bullshit. Obviously one or both of them has some other vast income from something else (and possibly inherited oodles of cash and property too).

I'd be willing to bet the talented crafts people who do actually make the products they sell (and many many others besides) don't live anywhere near such an idyllic lifestyle!

Yes indeed. And they are always dark hints about financial difficulties too with this type of content creator.

I guess it’s all relative! 😬

I don’t want to come across as a cow but there’s a fine line between highlighting the beauty of animals, innocent children and charming countryside, and being terribly pleased with oneself and basically showing off,

meditatingwithdolly · 05/06/2025 12:35

Backforawhile · 04/06/2025 23:49

OP you made me laugh out loud 🤣

I remember once seeing a headline on the front of Country Living (or some similar magazine” that said “Our Desperate Search For a Second Pony” 🤣

Yes, and the lovely endearing thing is that they simply don't realize that for most people the "desperate search" for a second pony/mushroom brush/nursery curtains does not even enter their heads, let alone cause turmoil, angst and sleeplessness nights.

OP posts:
CoffeeCantata · 05/06/2025 13:50

Backforawhile · 04/06/2025 23:49

OP you made me laugh out loud 🤣

I remember once seeing a headline on the front of Country Living (or some similar magazine” that said “Our Desperate Search For a Second Pony” 🤣

I really shouldn't say this because these are real people...but people from long, long ago when I was a country child in the North-west of England.

I used to go to gymkhanas with my friend. The announcers for the events always had very plummy voices and on one occasion we fell about after hearing over the PA system of two competitors, twin girls, blessed with the names 'Annabel and Tinkabel Bentley-Denton'. Hardcore Country Living!

Gosh, I hope a) they're not on here and b) that they married or otherwise managed to change their surnames at least!

BeMoreAmandaland · 06/06/2025 09:02

WiddlinDiddlin · 04/06/2025 19:23

The one I keep coming across (I don't look for their content!)...

Appear to imply that they fund their barefoot chickens and ponies and baking and adorable children (eldest in boarding school naturally) lifestyle... by making and selling wicker tiny tots basket saddles and sheepskin saddle pads...

Which they don't in fact make themselves, they just re-sell..

Nothing wrong with that as a business idea but the idea you can support that lifestyle on selling two very very niche, tiny market products is utter bullshit. Obviously one or both of them has some other vast income from something else (and possibly inherited oodles of cash and property too).

I'd be willing to bet the talented crafts people who do actually make the products they sell (and many many others besides) don't live anywhere near such an idyllic lifestyle!

I think I know which family you're talking about- 'know' as in, I've seen the social media, I don't know them personally. Their horses seem to have free range of the house?

I believe they've had some time financial times recently, even worried they'd need to sell their home. Inheritance tax?

Calliopespa · 06/06/2025 09:09

Scrowy · 18/03/2025 21:34

I voted YABU.

I live in the country in a massive house and it's full of spiders and woodworm.

The people you describe are the ones everyone else avoids down the pub. Don't be Jilly, Jilly is a knob.

You forgot the mice.

Endlessdogbowlsandbones · 06/06/2025 10:42

BeMoreAmandaland · 06/06/2025 09:02

I think I know which family you're talking about- 'know' as in, I've seen the social media, I don't know them personally. Their horses seem to have free range of the house?

I believe they've had some time financial times recently, even worried they'd need to sell their home. Inheritance tax?

Jeesh! Yes indeed! Sorry to sound cynical but I think financial difficulties of this nature are all, shall we say “relative”, as compared with someone who lives in an ordinary two-bed house or flat with no garden, who can’t, if they are being responsible, afford one pet, never mind a pack of dogs and several horses and a child at boarding school!

It downright annoys me when content creators like this plead “poverty” as I think it shows a woeful lack of insight in to their own privilege and in to how the other half live.

Yes they need to earn money no doubt. But it’s to feather the nest rather than furnish it!

There is a similar but different country account run by a woman known for her bread baking, gardening, and home-making skills, and while she obviously puts effort in, and is competent, and more openly business-oriented, she also a while back muttered darkly about down-sizing, cost-cutting and renting, and they subsequently moved house. But they still have several horses and dogs, two children at a very expensive boarding school, a child having show jumping and dressage coaching and she seems to buy £250 frilly shirts on a fortnightly basis, employs a gardener, and someone to help look after the horses and dogs. (Sorry but she puts these details out there, I haven’t gone searching.)

Each to their own. Fair enough. They are doing more interesting things than lounging around in their Holland Cooper jackets and I’m obviously a jealous cow 😁. And it obviously takes more effort and organisation than the casual viewer appreciates, to film “artfully spontaneous” dawn beach rides, or foraging expeditions, or nettle bread master classes, and to edit it all to music, set out all of the details and instructions, and upload regularly and deal with all of the tech. They are putting themselves out there which can’t be easy.

So I don’t wish to upset anyone specifically, but please country “influencers” in general, if you are reading this, be aware that true poverty does not mean changing your brand of washing liquid from an artisanal organic product which arrives in stylish brown glass bottles to Aldi’s most basic offering. It means worrying about not being able to buy enough petrol or food to see you through the week.

When people with this lifestyle plead poverty, it usually means that they are asset rich and cash poor. And it means they are privileged enough to be able to enjoy owning and competing with horses, buying a special artisan made piece of clothing or horse tack, and making weekly trips up to London “for a few bits” or some wellness or beauty treatments, all of which do cost a ruddy fortune!

And it’s all terrific and “jolly good fun” that they are finding innovative ways of spending their trust funds, but please give over trying to show us how to create an income stream by breeding from pet labradors or saving money by styling their Penelope Chilvers £350 leather boots, with an ancient cashmere wrap that has been knocking around their antique armoire for twenty years; none of which we would have in our homes in the first place because, wait for it, they were too expensive for us even back then! 😬

It’s not exactly the same as having to buy groceries from the food bank! And neither is it money-saving in any form recognisable by an ordinary person on an ordinary budget!

Also country content creators, please be aware, that although you tend to shy away from the subject of money, there are enormous elephants in your elegant drawing rooms, blending perfectly with the Little Greene painted panelling, but they are trumpeting loudly for us all to hear and see!

(And not just at the sight of your husbands’ raspberry coloured chinos! 😀)

BeMoreAmandaland · 06/06/2025 10:47

@Endlessdogbowlsandbones I couldn't agree more

CoffeeCantata · 06/06/2025 13:29

BeMoreAmandaland · Today 09:02

And so do I!

I would just add that - we all sort of know this about CL-type influencers, don't we? But we enjoy the fantasy and don't want it spoiled by too much reality.

It's like any comforting, escapist illusion. I'm not the biggest Nigella fan these days (she's been encouraged to become a parody of herself - I thought she was a breath of fresh air way back) but you often read on here that people completely buy into the fantasy - that it's her own kitchen we're seeing, that she's really holding those candle-lit dinners and sitting on her bench in the garden eating what she's cooked.

But it's a TV set and those folk are all playing their part. Nigella herself leads a grittier life - as anyone who reads the papers knows! That's not a criticism of Nigella, I'm just making the point that on one level we want the fantasy even when we know it's just that.

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/06/2025 13:37

BeMoreAmandaland · 06/06/2025 09:02

I think I know which family you're talking about- 'know' as in, I've seen the social media, I don't know them personally. Their horses seem to have free range of the house?

I believe they've had some time financial times recently, even worried they'd need to sell their home. Inheritance tax?

Yes theres always, hilariously, 'accidentally', a pony in the house and we're supposed to believe she hasn't just led the pony in there, told the kids to do whatever then started filming (the littlest one sometimes has a 'but Mummy you just TOLD me to do this, why are you pretending now?' look on his face)...

I do want fantasy... but I get it by watching Rivals and Bridgerton etc... maybe I am too much of a snarky old cynic, but I think many of these influencers really do want us to believe 100%.

TheGrimSmile · 06/06/2025 14:02

I used to read this - and Country Homes. You'll generally find that Jilly always has a husband who "works in The City" - and bankrolls the entire business/ home/ lifestyle.

meditatingwithdolly · 13/06/2025 23:39

BeMoreAmandaland · 06/06/2025 09:02

I think I know which family you're talking about- 'know' as in, I've seen the social media, I don't know them personally. Their horses seem to have free range of the house?

I believe they've had some time financial times recently, even worried they'd need to sell their home. Inheritance tax?

Who is this please?!

OP posts:
meditatingwithdolly · 13/06/2025 23:51

Endlessdogbowlsandbones · 06/06/2025 10:42

Jeesh! Yes indeed! Sorry to sound cynical but I think financial difficulties of this nature are all, shall we say “relative”, as compared with someone who lives in an ordinary two-bed house or flat with no garden, who can’t, if they are being responsible, afford one pet, never mind a pack of dogs and several horses and a child at boarding school!

It downright annoys me when content creators like this plead “poverty” as I think it shows a woeful lack of insight in to their own privilege and in to how the other half live.

Yes they need to earn money no doubt. But it’s to feather the nest rather than furnish it!

There is a similar but different country account run by a woman known for her bread baking, gardening, and home-making skills, and while she obviously puts effort in, and is competent, and more openly business-oriented, she also a while back muttered darkly about down-sizing, cost-cutting and renting, and they subsequently moved house. But they still have several horses and dogs, two children at a very expensive boarding school, a child having show jumping and dressage coaching and she seems to buy £250 frilly shirts on a fortnightly basis, employs a gardener, and someone to help look after the horses and dogs. (Sorry but she puts these details out there, I haven’t gone searching.)

Each to their own. Fair enough. They are doing more interesting things than lounging around in their Holland Cooper jackets and I’m obviously a jealous cow 😁. And it obviously takes more effort and organisation than the casual viewer appreciates, to film “artfully spontaneous” dawn beach rides, or foraging expeditions, or nettle bread master classes, and to edit it all to music, set out all of the details and instructions, and upload regularly and deal with all of the tech. They are putting themselves out there which can’t be easy.

So I don’t wish to upset anyone specifically, but please country “influencers” in general, if you are reading this, be aware that true poverty does not mean changing your brand of washing liquid from an artisanal organic product which arrives in stylish brown glass bottles to Aldi’s most basic offering. It means worrying about not being able to buy enough petrol or food to see you through the week.

When people with this lifestyle plead poverty, it usually means that they are asset rich and cash poor. And it means they are privileged enough to be able to enjoy owning and competing with horses, buying a special artisan made piece of clothing or horse tack, and making weekly trips up to London “for a few bits” or some wellness or beauty treatments, all of which do cost a ruddy fortune!

And it’s all terrific and “jolly good fun” that they are finding innovative ways of spending their trust funds, but please give over trying to show us how to create an income stream by breeding from pet labradors or saving money by styling their Penelope Chilvers £350 leather boots, with an ancient cashmere wrap that has been knocking around their antique armoire for twenty years; none of which we would have in our homes in the first place because, wait for it, they were too expensive for us even back then! 😬

It’s not exactly the same as having to buy groceries from the food bank! And neither is it money-saving in any form recognisable by an ordinary person on an ordinary budget!

Also country content creators, please be aware, that although you tend to shy away from the subject of money, there are enormous elephants in your elegant drawing rooms, blending perfectly with the Little Greene painted panelling, but they are trumpeting loudly for us all to hear and see!

(And not just at the sight of your husbands’ raspberry coloured chinos! 😀)

Edited

I absolutely love the CL style cries of woe, imagine being "bereft" at the thought of not having access to a glass bottled washing up liquid - I don't know how they manage to go on in a nightmare like this!
Recently I read an article in H&G where the writer showed her bedroom/ensuite/dressing room, but opted to sleep in a weird 6x8 ft alcove instead, "because I don't believe that space is what people really want". Yes Jacinta, my dreams came true when I lost my home and I had to move into a b&b with my dc. It is soooo incredibly cosy sleeping three in a single bed, and no one minds the condensation running down the walls every morning, it reminds us of our caravan holiday in Grimsby where the man in the neighbouring caravan was claw hammered in the face. It was soooo much fun!

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 15/06/2025 04:46

Yeahhhhh ditto... such people tend to twat on about money being such a burden and they'd truly be happier without any (with fingers x'd firmly behind their backs I think), it'd be such a 'simpler life'...

I pm'd you the ponies in the pantry folks. Enjoy (have a sick bag to hand).

meditatingwithdolly · 15/06/2025 08:16

OMG the ponies in the pantry family! Even they are too much for CL standards, that is the biggest load of posho pretentiousness I've seen. They became instagram stars "totally by accident".....Yes of course, because your pony "helping out at bath time" is just soooo average. It must be exhausting having to curate all of those scenes and photograph them and make them look like they just happened by themselves. And of course, her DH is an artist!

OP posts:
SarfLondonLad · 15/06/2025 08:47

One of the best things about CL is how happy it makes me to know I live in a town.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 15/06/2025 09:07

Is that the one who has kids named after birds of prey - and an older one named for a piece of falconry kit that holds birds down and prevents them from flying free, by any chance?

Pianoaholic · 15/06/2025 09:19

CoffeeCantata · 05/06/2025 13:50

I really shouldn't say this because these are real people...but people from long, long ago when I was a country child in the North-west of England.

I used to go to gymkhanas with my friend. The announcers for the events always had very plummy voices and on one occasion we fell about after hearing over the PA system of two competitors, twin girls, blessed with the names 'Annabel and Tinkabel Bentley-Denton'. Hardcore Country Living!

Gosh, I hope a) they're not on here and b) that they married or otherwise managed to change their surnames at least!

My kids take part in a local music festival every year, and I am in an area with several private schools (which my kids do not attend).
It is my greatest joy to look through the programme at the weird and wonderful names these kids have been saddled with...obviously can't quote any, but if I did, you wouldn't believe it.
Probably all living a CL lifestyle.

Why is this thread not in classics yet?!

meditatingwithdolly · 15/06/2025 09:50

NeverDropYourMooncup · 15/06/2025 09:07

Is that the one who has kids named after birds of prey - and an older one named for a piece of falconry kit that holds birds down and prevents them from flying free, by any chance?

Yes, I'm not sure why posters didn't name them? They have been in the Daily Mail, purely by accident I'm sure. The mum is crying out for attention for goodness sake, setting freshly bathed toddlers with sheepskin moccasins on a pony in their living room and pretending she just walked in to the room with a camera on a tripod and found them like that? Girl, you cannot pull the country wool over our eyes! I especially love the post up about getting messages all the time about how it looks like she has a perfect life, and she's very keen to let us know that that is not the case at all, she'd hate for us to think that having a pony as a nanny is anything out of the ordinary. Marry an artist and you can have this lifestyle too, plebs.

OP posts:
meditatingwithdolly · 15/06/2025 09:53

Why is this thread not in classics yet?!

This, and more to the point why have CL not snaffled me up? Look how hilarious everyone finds this thread, and I haven't even introduced you to my fabulous friends yet. It is your loss Country Living!

OP posts:
Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 15/06/2025 10:02

Also what CL doesn't show you in all the wonderful photographs of little Horatia and Jasper cuddling their ponies whilst Mater sits in her converted stable weaving cobwebs into exquisite socks-and-pants sets for all her 'customers'... Horatia and Jasper would much rather be sitting in their bedrooms with the PS5s and HATE the fact that they live 50 miles from all their friends. They are also sick of mucking out and getting bitten and want to go and live in Slough.

Baital · 15/06/2025 10:11

Jasper spends the time he isn't in front of the camera with Mummy getting trashed on cheap cider and trying to grow cannabis in the conservatory, while Horatia is sexting Jasper's friends and developing an eating disorder...

Arraminta · 15/06/2025 10:22

Bliss. This reminds me of the glorious Pedlars threads of yester year. Selling cracked floor tiles sourced from a derelict church in Puglia at £125 a pop.

Baital · 15/06/2025 10:26

Daddy has a girlfriend he sees when he stays over in London for work. Jasper found a WhatsApp from her on his father's phone, and goes in for a bit of blackmail whenever he wants a tech upgrade.

Mummy's best friend Tabitha has an eye on getting Daddy herself, and can't understand why he doesn't respond to her flirtatious glances.

WiddlinDiddlin · 15/06/2025 10:44

I felt reluctant to name or there will probably be videos about being named on MN (apply whichever spin seems most likely to generate more views)...

But that isn't really logical I know!

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