Help me our here - am I going mad?

[Sarah202023]

Sat with the DH and tell him my plans to take my 6 month old to a soft play tomorrow. Husband (not for the first time) comments that I've not done this before and that I should do it more. I'm not that bothered I say - I'm not really a huge fan of soft play and don't feel like either of us are missing out.
He then starts telling me how I am so negative and he feels sorry for me. I tell him he doesn't need to, if he's that bothered that DC is missing out on some formative experience then he is always welcome to go. He then goes on and on, adding that he sees other mothers in soft play having such a lovely bonding experience and he's just so sorry that I don't get that.
I mean....wtf!? I say that it sounds as though he is criticising my parenting/ability to bond with my child (I'm good on both these fronts). I try to get him to understand why his words might be upsetting and he says I'm oversensitive, crazy, spiralling, overreacting, going crazy at him....I am literally none of these!
I told him that this is gaslighting and he's denied saying what he did, or if he did, that's not what he meant and then left the room because I can't have a sensible conversation and turn everything into an argument....
I'm pretty sure I'm not but AIBU here?? What is going on and why has he said this!?

Agree.

It’s an odd way to motivate someone - start telling them off just when they say they are about to do the activity they’d like you to do.

Hope he’s not a manager at work who gives feedback

It’s kind of really patronising negging?!

You haven’t done what he thought you should as it’s obviously a Worthy Thing to do. You point out it’s not your cup of tea. He then tells you he feels sorry for you as your negativity is causing you to miss out on bonding with your baby. Like the other wonderful mums who care about their babies are doing. By going to soft play, those Petri dishes of raucous boredom.

He’s being superior by saying he can see where you’re failing when you clearly can’t. That you’re not bonding with your baby (WTF?!) then, THEN when you point out the arseyness of his comments he completely shuts things down by saying you’re unreasonable/ shouting/blah, blah, blah then he walks out?!

Superior, patronising negging. Arrogant too.

Do you feel well bonded to your baby?

For what it’s worth, I never did soft play/classes etc and my DC were not scarred for life. Neither did it make the slightest bit of difference on my bond with them.

I agree but you need to socialize the little beasts. I absolutely adore my children and grandchildren but not everything is exciting. Cause it’s not

"he seems to suggest that I'm not being what his idea of a perfect mother is" Please do not give it head space @Sarah202023

Who on this earth likes soft play and baby groups? Nightmare!

He's being daft 😁

Surely there's not anything a 6 month old can do at soft play other than get trodden on and catch some snotty lurgy.

It's going to be nice and sunny tomorrow (apparently), would a stroll round the park, a lay on a rug under a tree to look at the leaves, eat whatever weaning food and relax not suffice?

Maybe he wants you to do something more mentally stimulating or active with the baby (like swimming, baby sensory, music & me etc), although your baby is only 6 months so still quite young. Personally I'd prefer having coffee with my friends too, but a mix is good if you can manage it. I can't say I loved those baby activities myself but liked my baby to get to enjoy new experiences and I think it's good for development too.