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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this so stressful?

7 replies

Gremlinsmoothie · 18/03/2025 19:56

Building works.

NC as outing. Not looking for a solution here, just need to get it off my chest.

We have been having work done on our house for 6 months now. Extension & new kitchen. No sign of end date & we are in chaos.

Our kitchen is a building site which just consists of a hob, sink, & a small square of work surface. All appliances have been moved to a different part of the house, & food, as we have no kitchen cupboards anymore. The kitchen was opened up to the extension weeks ago, but the new doors & windows are not fitted, just boarded, so it’s freezing in there, at times as low as 8 degrees. There’s builders dust & mud everywhere, I clean it & the following day it’s back. It’s been like this for weeks now. Trying to prepare a meal is so difficult.

I’m finding having workmen in & around my house day in day out is now really getting me down, it’s such an invasion of privacy. I work from home 2 out of 5 days & that has been difficult due to noise & disruption.

So as not to drip feed- I never wanted the extension. New kitchen yes, but felt like our house was already big enough. DH went ahead & planned anyway, spent weeks on plans & got an architect round without my knowledge, planning not one but two extensions. In the end I compromised & agreed to the one. I guess that impacts the way I’m feeling now significantly.

Does anyone else find these situations stressful or am I just being mardy? I feel like it’s beginning to affect my mental heath. I don’t look forward to coming home after a day in the office any longer. I don’t look forward to the weekends when I would usually bake with my kids. Like I said there is no solution to this, I know how lucky I am to be getting a new kitchen, I just never thought it would be so disruptive. I just needed to have a moan.

OP posts:
MaryGreenhill · 18/03/2025 20:00

It is awful yadnbu OP.

Haricots · 18/03/2025 20:02

You need to start a thread in Relationships

That is your real issue

Buttonknot · 18/03/2025 20:04

We got an extension done around 7 years ago, it was the most stressful time I've ever been through!

Jabberwok · 18/03/2025 20:10

No not you. When I was 18 dad had an extension built on our house, part of the council move to up grade older houses. Dad was disabled, i was still at school, so dad had to find half the money. Unfortunately one the builders in the partnership fucked off with the money...fair play the other guy finished the work...but we were 6 months without a kitchen. Just a cooker and fridge under a tarp. It didn't help that mum had died 9 months before.

7 years ago we had an extension on our house (I was 49) the stress was bad , kept thinking back to then. Thankfully, I used my cousins company and whilst it didn't go all to plan, spending £11k unexpectedly to get it underpinned, and rather rushing him through the last finishing touches, it was worth all the grief.

Gremlinsmoothie · 18/03/2025 20:16

Haricots · 18/03/2025 20:02

You need to start a thread in Relationships

That is your real issue

Yes I know it’s an issue, but that’s a whole other thread. I was just trying to explain why I’m finding it so hard.
His stand point is that I don’t ever agree to anything. I just find that when we do anything to the house he always goes overboard, and it’s ends up being bigger & better and more expensive & more disruptive than was required. for example, we needed a carpet replacing, & before I know it the walls are being re-plastered as well. So I’m now reluctant.

OP posts:
Gremlinsmoothie · 18/03/2025 20:17

Jabberwok · 18/03/2025 20:10

No not you. When I was 18 dad had an extension built on our house, part of the council move to up grade older houses. Dad was disabled, i was still at school, so dad had to find half the money. Unfortunately one the builders in the partnership fucked off with the money...fair play the other guy finished the work...but we were 6 months without a kitchen. Just a cooker and fridge under a tarp. It didn't help that mum had died 9 months before.

7 years ago we had an extension on our house (I was 49) the stress was bad , kept thinking back to then. Thankfully, I used my cousins company and whilst it didn't go all to plan, spending £11k unexpectedly to get it underpinned, and rather rushing him through the last finishing touches, it was worth all the grief.

Really sorry that happened to you & that you lost your mum. Must have been so hard. Thank you for sharing x

OP posts:
Haricots · 18/03/2025 20:41

Why you will be finding it “so hard” is that you’re sharing your home and indeed your life with a bloody minded twat who doesn’t give a flying fig about your opinion

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