Parents of difficult toddlers?

[MrsWaltonGoggins]

Can I ask for some help?

My toddler is 3.5. He is very loving and affectionate and incredibly smart for his age.

However, he is so so difficult and I'm really struggling with him. He doesn't care about consequences and is incredibly stubborn. If he doesn't want to do something he won't do it. I cant get him to potty train, sleep in his own bed, tidy his toys. If I am talking to someone else and he wants me he will literally grab my face and turn it towards him and shout if I've told him to wait.

My older one was so easy and I never had any issue with her at all. I don't know if it's me or him tbh!

Any advice would be appreciated because I feel very out of my depth and I'm really struggling with him.

They don’t call them threenagers for nothing. Seems like you have a kid of each flavour. All you can do is lay down firm and consistent boundaries, OP. But do pick your battles – the feeling of control is very important for some kids, but too much will make them power hungry.

No real words of wisdom OP. I have twins who are the same age as your boys and they are the same! So you aren’t alone!

I console myself in that I think I am their “safe person” because I certainly get the worst of their tantrums and mood swings, whereas at preschool or with my parents they aren’t quite so bad.

Not to wish lives away, but let’s hope 4 is easier!!!

omg I could have written this. My eldest was like so so easy it was insane. My middle baby (girl) was a complete nightmare. I ended up in tears most nights. Reflecting now (she is 10 and very well behaved thank god) I think the reason for it was that I didn’t have really good boundaries in place (as my eldest didn’t need them a firm no would work). So I had to be consistent and strict with her. If it helps I used the naughty step and the sticker chart (straight out of supernanny 😀) it took a bit of time but it did improve. Hang in there

Boundaries and naughty step

I do think I have been far too soft with him, because like PP said, my eldest didnt need me to be firm with her at all she just did as she was asked. She's 11 now and has never had a tantrum, whereas my boy tantrums multipole times a day!

I just would like him to sleep in his own bed and potty train really atm, I feel like he is quite delayed in this aspect. But I really thought today when he was having a tantrum in Sainsburys over a toy, my god he's a real brat! And I know that's my fault but I don't even know where to start.

Ignore the bad, give attention to the good.... I know to my cost it isn't as easy as it sounds, it takes time and a very lot of patience.

My eldest is difficult. I had to sort out what was a behaviour issue and do naughty step; when he needed to calm down and how to help with that; where he’s actually behind other kids and needs extra time or help.

It’s next to impossible to do any of it until they are regulated, so I’d start with finding out his daily needs and meeting them- for mine it is cuddling/reading time, core exercise, sensory play, free play outdoors and enough sleep… and the elaborate routine he needs for enough sleep.

Try the book the explosive child to work through one issue at a time, but bare in mind he will be on the young side to give input.

I thought it couldn’t get worse than terrible twos. Then the threenager appeared. Christ on a bike. It’s hard