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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think your 30s are actually better than your 20s?

69 replies

CyanOrca · 18/03/2025 16:21

People act like your 20s are the best years of your life, but honestly, I think your 30s are way better. You (hopefully) have more financial stability, you know yourself more, and there’s way less drama. Sure, you might have more responsibilities but isn’t that better than the chaos and insecurity of your early 20s? AIBU to think your 30s are actually the real glow-up decade?

OP posts:
ARainyNightInSoho · 18/03/2025 16:25

What do you mean ‘people’ act like your 20s are better than your 30s? Which people? Possibly only people in their 20s! Your 30s are so much better than your 20s for all the reasons you mention, and more.

I will tell you something else. Your 60s are even better. It’s weird that people don’t know that! I wouldn’t be young again for anything and I’ll bet most older people would agree.

100PercentFaithful · 18/03/2025 16:29

Wait until you get to your 50s 👌

SingingSonnets · 18/03/2025 16:31

It’ll depend on what your life was like I suppose. My 20s were definitely not full of chaos, drama or insecurity. I enjoyed my 20s and 30s, now mid 40s and life is still good.

unsync · 18/03/2025 16:32

100PercentFaithful · 18/03/2025 16:29

Wait until you get to your 50s 👌

You beat me to it. Fifties are 💪🔥

minipie · 18/03/2025 16:33

I spent my 30s TTC for ages and then having young non sleeping children, nope not much glow up going on. 40s have been much better!

PuzzleFrog · 18/03/2025 16:35

If you have kids in your 30s, then that is the decade of exhaustion, broken sleep, and no time to yourself.
My 20s were a hedonistic free for all in comparison to my 30s!

SoManyTshirts · 18/03/2025 16:37

ARainyNightInSoho · 18/03/2025 16:25

What do you mean ‘people’ act like your 20s are better than your 30s? Which people? Possibly only people in their 20s! Your 30s are so much better than your 20s for all the reasons you mention, and more.

I will tell you something else. Your 60s are even better. It’s weird that people don’t know that! I wouldn’t be young again for anything and I’ll bet most older people would agree.

Totally agree.

stealthsquirrelnutkin · 18/03/2025 16:46

Young people think that life goes downhill as you age, actually it turns out that it keeps getting better.

At least in my experience, because the older you get the less you care what other people think, and the more you understand yourself and what you consider important and worthwhile.

I'll turn 68 this year and life is tons better than it was at 20, 30, 40 or 50.

It's a bit concerning being aware that the average life expectancy for women where I live is only 82.

My parent's generation have all died off, leaving my generation next in line, but having seen friends fall by the wayside much earlier in life many of us accept we've had a good innings, and been lucky to make it so far.

After a chaotic start in life I never really expected to make it to 40, so seeing the millennium arrive, and every year since then has been a bonus.

No doubt the local council will soon be offering delightful suicide pods in scenic locations, as an alternative to run down nursing homes, understaffed by stressed and undervalued carers. Though I would like to keep drawing both of my partial old age pensions for another 40 years, just to feel I got value out of the contributions paid.

HomeBodyClub · 18/03/2025 16:47

Mid 30s here. I found my 20s a million times better. More fun, happier, less stress.

Emknewbest · 18/03/2025 16:53

So much better! You know yourself more and are less inclined to do things you don’t like. I really enjoy life more as I’m older, despite various ups and downs, such as divorce. I’m just more comfortable in my own skin and with how I live.
I’ve found as you get older you care less about what others think and don’t over or under estimate others so much.

Unorganisedchaos2 · 18/03/2025 16:57

Im not sure I enjoyed my 30's more than my 20's, they both had good and bad like most people.

I will say though that two years into my 40's and its like a switch has flipped and hardly give a damn about all the stupid stuff I used to worry about - so freeing 😆I expect by the time Im 50 I'll be one of those crazy eccentric ladies, drinking gin in the morning and wearing mad clothes - I cant wait

EmpressaurusKitty · 18/03/2025 16:59

Well, my 30s were bloody awful because I spent them in a bad relationship.

Turning 40 gave me the impetus to finally get out of it & things have been improving ever since.

cheezncrackers · 18/03/2025 17:00

I don't think you can generalise. My 20s were great - okay I had relationship issues at times - but generally speaking I was young and free and had a blast. My 30s were getting married, getting pregnant and having babies and they were hard work and tiring, for the most part.

JanglingJack · 18/03/2025 17:02

It depends... Had my son at 21, was a single parent.

Met DDs Dad at 27, had daughter at 33, was a single parent!

I'm nearly 50. I can't regret meeting her Dad for obvious reasons but my god I hate him.

Bring on my 50s!!! Bollocks, am now grandma to a nearly 3 year old, I'm expected to do that as well. I will if I can, but it's not a given.

ACynicalDad · 18/03/2025 17:15

Each decade has got better, maybe 10's didn't beat under 10's but 40's better than 30's better than 20's, better than 10's.

CarpetKnees · 18/03/2025 17:19

but isn’t that better than the chaos and insecurity of your early 20s?

But that doesn't describe my 20s.

You are generalising massively.
I had a lot of fun in my 20s - travel, social life, meeting lots of new people, holidays, then the excitement of being able to buy my first place.
In my 30s, is when I had my dc, so years of sleep deprivation and immense responsibility or trying to work and be a parent, which I found quite a challenge. Not that I'd change it for the world, but it doesn't fit with your assumption everyone has the same life as you.

FaithFables · 18/03/2025 17:25

Wait until you hit 40. 😉

SunsetCocktails · 18/03/2025 17:30

ACynicalDad · 18/03/2025 17:15

Each decade has got better, maybe 10's didn't beat under 10's but 40's better than 30's better than 20's, better than 10's.

Agree with this. I’ve enjoyed every decade for different reasons - 20s were for partying and travelling with no real responsibilities, 30s for settling down and enjoying marriage and kids and a different pace of life, 40s and now 50s for gaining independence back as the kids have grown up, socialising and travelling again as a couple. As a pp said, life just gets better.

Redpeach · 18/03/2025 17:33

It's a bit like saying majorca is better than Malta, they're just different places and it depends what you do on them

MajorCarolDanvers · 18/03/2025 17:55

100PercentFaithful · 18/03/2025 16:29

Wait until you get to your 50s 👌

Best so far.

Disturbia81 · 18/03/2025 18:30

Yep, and 40s are currently better than both!

Smelded · 18/03/2025 18:34

I much preferred my 20s, zero health issues, so much fun, no stress as not much responsibilities just lots of fun, felt a lot more confident.

GrilledSamon · 18/03/2025 19:18

Totally agree OP

In my early 20s I was scared to stand up to my abusive alcoholic mother. By my 30s she was dead

Blondiebeachbabe · 18/03/2025 19:43

100PercentFaithful · 18/03/2025 16:29

Wait until you get to your 50s 👌

Ha! That’s what I was going to say! 50’s is the BEST! I’ve raised my kids to be independent adults. I have no responsibility for anyone. My mortgage is nearly repaid. I have loads of money in the bank. I travel extensively. I have more confidence than I’ve ever had and people actually listen to me, as I’m an older adult who commands respect. Husband is a sexy 6ft 3 silver fox, who other men look up to. It’s BRILLIANT! 🤩

Thre3isthemagicnumber · 18/03/2025 19:51

30s are definitely better than 20s, but so far 40s are worse than 30s 😢

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