60 year old cousin chasing up a birthday card

[user1471867483]

My mum and I usually send separate cards to my 60 yo cousin, who lives 300 miles away, but this year, for the first time ever, we decided to send one card with both of our names on it to save. It came as a surprise when my cousin rang my mum, mentioning about missing our second card! She barked, “But I love getting two cards”. She even asked my mum if I’d moved out!

I understand her preference for receiving two cards, but I believe it should ultimately be our choice on how we send our birthday wishes. I value the effort both mum and I put into celebrating each other's birthdays. However, when it’s my birthday or my mum’s, she either sends a card over a week late or doesn’t bother at all. Mum and I have never missed her birthday and are always on time. It was my birthday last week and I’m still waiting for a card from her!
Do you think it’s childish of her to phone asking where her second card is? Surely she should accept it graciously?

Sounds like she just wondered if you've moved out.

The 'barking' made me laugh though, what did it sound like? 🤣

Yep, don't bother at all next year

I think you accidently put a 0 after the 6 OP?

You should call and tell her that her second card is in the same place as the birthday card she sent to you.

Is it because it was her 60th birthday so a more special one than usual?

It was my special one last year and I didn't get any extra from her.

I wouldn’t give this any headspace. It’s just a grumbly comment.

I had an aunt like this, always demanded a card and was grumpy if she didn't get one ( or two ) like your case, or even if they was slightly late but never ever received one back from her!!

So why haven’t you asked her where your card is? Why do people complain about others without even attempting to address any issues first ?

I hand delivered a card to a relative who lived about 5 miles away and was told it has to be delivered by Royal Mail or else it 'doesn't count' !

Aw, poor lady loves your attention and feels you’ve cut her rations! Just explain you’re saving money, not being stingy with your affection.

She’s pretty ridiculous to call and ask where her additional card is when surely you signed it from both of you? Selfish of her to be seeking a card when she absolutely knows she didn’t send anything to you. Let it be..don’t respond and do one card next year also. Cards are expensive now and your effort in selecting/posting isn’t free either. She will get used to receiving one or if she is ungrateful maybe none?

But if the OP had moved out, she’d have been less likely to send a joint card so that makes no sense.

Oh FFS this is my extended family all over. Couldn't be arsed to send a card half the time for me, or my DC (sometimes we never got one, or it would be a fortnight late,) and my DH NEVER got a card from her. My brother's birthday is 3 days after mine, and I went to my cousin's house the day before my birthday (with my DC so they could play with 2 of her 4 kids who were close to my 2 kids age.) My brother's card was written out and on top of the fridge freezer. None for me. I even said 'oooh there's Paul's birthday card there, nice. ' She said 'yeah, gotta post it later.' I looked at her for a minute and smiled... But..... Nooooo. No card for BatchCookbabe. 😢(For my birthday tomorrow.) None in the post either!!!

Sooooooo 2 months, later I thought 'fuck you Julie' and didn't send her one for her birthday. My mum gave me soooooooo much shit for it, and when I said 'well she didn't give me one 2 months back, but DID give one to Paul (my brother,)' my mum said' well that's just spiteful, not getting her one JUST BECAUSE she didn't give you one!' Is it? Is it really?! 🤔 My aunt slagged me off too behind my back. The cheek. 😆

No-one slagged off my cousin though, because she has 4 children (not just 2 like me) and is soooooooooooo busy all the time, and not as well off as me, (apparently!!!) so she probably can't afford a card. She can afford to smoke though and go to bingo twice a week. 🙄 (I have never been well off, only difference is that me and DH both had a job, and even in her late 30s, she had never worked. But she was no poorer than me. It's just I never complained about money, and he never stopped!)

Yeah, tl;dr my cousin was hit and miss when it came to card sending, but God forbid you don't send her one, and all of her 4 children, and her (current) boyfriend.

@user1471867483 Your cousin a a ludicrous diva, and you should just not send her a birthday card next year!

Ha! I would never send her another card.