To ask if it’s normal to be embarrassed by this?

[CringerNinja]

When I was 11 I went to a 3rd birthday party of a family friend’s son.

I can’t remember that much about it - but I can remember the mum - our family friend shouting at various intervals throughout the party when a child misbehaved:

(blah blah blah) SPOIL DAVID’S PARTY!!

So the main thing I remember about that afternoon were cries of :

SPOIL DAVID’S PARTY!!!! every 10 minutes or so.

As an 11 year old I felt acutely embarrassed and self conscious about this. AIBU?

Sorry I meant to say in my title is it normal for an

11*** year old to be embarrassed by this?

I don't think anyone will find this normal to be embarrassed about as it seems such abnormal behaviour!

I would consider it more likely to be confused.
And then forgotten.

If you were a fairly sensitive, under confident, and anxious child who worried about pleasing those around you then it follows that you’d have been more highly tuned in to perceived criticisms about your behaviour, or worries at hearing others’ behaviour criticised, perhaps for fear you might be next. “Normal” doesn’t really come into it: all children are products of their environments and personalities, and we all remember odd little snippets of our childhoods, for whatever reason.

Never mind the fact that it was decades ago, why are you embarrassed about something someone else did?

Why were you embarrassed? Were you the one spoiling David’s party?

Was she shouting at you or other kids?
What was the behaviour that was spoiling the party?**

Are you now 12 OP, or was this decades ago? I find it odd that you are still mulling this over now!

Was she yelling at you? What did your parents say? Are you normally embarrassed by other people now?

Thank you to everyone who’s responded - I think this post explains things VERY VERY well - it’s nailed it.

I was a very underconfident 11 year old child and had very low self esteem

Sure, but why are you still mulling it over all these years later?

Certainly not!

And equally, I suspect the parent throwing the party was themselves somebody who was quite anxious, eager to please, and a bit of a perfectionist with therefore a tendency to overreact somewhat to things going in a way which didn’t fit with the vision or plan they had in their head. We don’t just suddenly snap out of our foibles at 18!

Shouting at other kids

i can’t honestly remember the behaviour spoiling the party

I remember acute embarrassment when teachers shouted at somebody else at school. They didn't even need to be near me, I'd just go all hot and red and embarrassed. Might be similar? I don't know why I was like that, something about things going wrong or people losing control or other people being embarrassed.

Am not 12!

Um... WTF.

Do you think you might be ND and looking for supporting evidence?

I feel sad for David. Party ruined either by an embarrassment of a mother or the unruliness of the child attendees! Poor David, he never stood a chance 😢

Its quite strange you are still thinking about this now.
It is weird behaviour from an adult at thr party but not something I would remember or think about post the party tbh.
Maybe you thinking about it is linked to another recent event???

Very true ❤️

I think OP is getting a bit of unnecessary stick here! I think we all remember odd events from childhood, particularly if they were related to something which made us feel a particular way. I remember being taken on a day trip by my aunt and uncle and cousin when I was about 9 and mistaking some cows for sheep, and all of them laughing for ages. I worried the whole day, I genuinely thought that my aunt and uncle were going to feed back to my parents and my other set of aunt and uncle we were meeting up with that I didn’t know the difference between cows and sheep, and that everyone thought I was stupid! I was just a bit of a sensitive kid and worried about letting people down by being dumb.

Aunt and uncle and cousin obviously forgot immediately and of course didn’t even remember it to tell anyone, and I’m not longer a sensitive little thing (in the slightest 😁) - but I still remember it happening and how embarrassed and anxious I felt at the time!

I should think several of the children present would have cringed at that - I would have.
I wonder why it is still bothering you years later, though.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to this thread - I’m sure none of you back in the day would’ve done anything so heinous as

SPOIL DAVID’S PARTY!!

The party was at David’s house btw not in a leisure centre or external venue or anything

I think people are riding quite hard on OP “constantly mulling it over”. I have usually quite hazy memories of childhood but I remember being extremely gently chided by a friend’s mum when I was about 6yo - more than 30 years ago - and this is vivid as fuck. I don’t think about it constantly but when I do, I can remember everything.

God, now I’m vividly remembering Laura Blackstone’s mum accosting me in the primary school playground in 1994 and shouting at me for “getting my Laura into trouble” (reader: Laura was absolutely the ringleader) by disobeying the teacher’s instructions not to go and play in the trees on the top field! 🤣