Vote only....no dad or a shit dad?

[Notashamed13]

Vote only....im not going to respond (but I'm going to take note of the responses), so, what's better?....no Dad or a shit Dad (one who literally has no voluntary interaction with his child) (9yo).....

YANBU: No Dad
YABU: Shit Dad

Too black and white - need more info. Shit Dad by whose standards? Do you mean drug-addicted, violent, neglectful or unreliable, doesn't make the effort?
In the case of the former - no dad
The latter - depends

I've got voting turned off but I'd say no dad, based on the experience of a close friend. Much better to deal with knowing he's never going to be there then living week to week wondering if he'll show up and being disappointed.

There's closure with the no dad option at least. Both my kids and I would be better off financially if something terrible happened to my ex, and they wouldn't be left traumatised by feeling like awful human beings if their dad doesn't even bother with them.

Neither

The mum does everything to do with the child, gets huffed and puffed at when child is suggested to "ask daddy"..... child gets shouted at constantly and expected to be fuelled on sugar and shite on the odd occasion "Dad" has to be "responsible"......I know full well that if Mum left, Dad would not give a shit......

As in give a shit about child.

Is there any chance that shit dad could be made to change his ways ? Would be a shame to cut ties if it's still possible.

I've got a shit dad, as in he's been largely absent from my life, but he's not abusive or unkind, so I guess he's better than no dad. There is a weird biology thing for me, where I'm glad I 'know' that half of my parentage. Not sure why and not sure if that's common. I feel like it's better to know my dad and know that he's rubbish. I think if he was completely no contact or dead I could be prone to making up a fantasy version of him and I feel like that would be unfair to my mum.