Undermined at work and feel worthless

[NameChanged888]

I lead a particular area of a team. Can’t go into details as it’s outing but I’ve been leading this area since May. I didn’t ask for the role, it just came my way when someone left suddenly. The structure of the team is a bit unstable and basically there are two many cooks. In meetings I rarely feel like I am heard. I feel like I get put back in my box when others are listened to and acknowledged. Now I know this may not be the truth but this is how it feels for me.

Today I’ve had a meeting and I’ve been advised about how to move my area of the team onwards by people from outside the team. Then one of the people has emailed me notes of the meeting with action points for me and things I need to consider.

This person doesn’t work with me, doesn’t lead in this area and is not my line manager. If we want to talk hierarchy, she is below me. I feel this person is quite protected in meetings. Is always praised and listened to. So, do I speak up and say ‘hey why are you telling me my job?’ Or just let it go. My concern is that by speaking up it may look like sour grapes and I don’t want to upset anyone. But by letting it go, it may send the wrong message out, that I’m a door mat.

You take control and YOU lay out the actions.

Reply to all and select the parts you want them to take forward

Thanks, good advice. Where do some people get off over stepping the mark?!

I have a few questions. Was today's meeting specifically called so others could advise you on how to move your own team forwards? What is your relationship with your line manager like? You say there are too many cooks in your team so you know changes need to be made. Could you spend some time having 1:1s with each member of the team to find out: what they are doing now that they feel they are doing well; what they are doing now that challenges them positively; what they would like to do that's new to stretch themselves and increase their skills. Armed with this information and your own observations, reconfigure your team, consult with HR and agree this with your LM along with success measures for the team and you. All of this would allow you to demonstrate you are rising to the challenge of your new role and putting your stamp on it.

I’d email them back and say ‘great! While you’re giving me your thoughts about my team thought I’d better return the favour and give you my thoughts about how to bring on the one person you’re responsible for as you know I have considerable experience with managing whole teams’.
and copy in your line manager 😂

Are you officially managing the team now? Is she angling for the role?

Are any of the points she makes valid ones?

The staff member acted as a note taker if she is the only one circulating notes of the meeting with action points for you and things you need to consider.
You need to check if she has been instructed to do that by her manager
And review it to make sure that it is correct.
If it is you need to thank her for her work and her follow up as it makes your life easier as there is a clear and agreed action plan.
If you can not do something on the list go through your line manager to find a solution

She has 2 skills that will work to your advantage
First being able to participate fully in the meetings and get other people to champion her and her input
Second she is organised and is willing to do note taking which can be hard in the too many cook situation
So watch and learn.

You are new in the role and have a lot of issues in your team and are not great at controling a meeting. Rather than seeing this as being undermined ask her to meet you for coffee and pick her brain and get tips.
Its a quick way to turn a possible enemy into a work friend. And she in turn may champion you to her boss and wider teammates.

Thanks for all the feedback. Quite a few assumptions made but I guess that comes with not going into all the details. She started her role only recently so although I’m new to this particular part of the job, she is far newer. I also had no idea that this meeting was going to take this journey as I was only invited last minute. Her manager and mine are the same.

Are you sure you’re not reading too much into this?

It sounds to me like this person was asked to take minutes of the meeting and disseminate any actions arising from the meeting. Probably asked to do this by your shared manager.

No she wasn’t asked to do it. She’s taken it upon herself to do this. I’d made my own notes and put them in the chat function. She’s made a whole Word document with actions for me to do!