School/bullying would this make you uncomfortable re teacher

[oatflat22]

Posted on chat but didn't get many answers

Last year my DC was quite badly bullied by a boy in his class, very sneaky, nasty piece of work, lots of psychological stuff, divide and conquer with DC - telling people they weren't allowed to play with him, turning his back on them in social situations, stealing his things etc. etc. loads of examples.

Also getting socially immature children they could take advantage of to do things to make them look stupid and get them into trouble, saw things ourselves on several occasions at playdates and birthday parties.

when asked DC what this person was like at school we just got fine/don't want to talk about it. And at the end of the summer holidays DC finally opened the floodgates and told us what had been going on.

School were really good and asked us to give them a month. We spoke to deputy head and DC in October and it seemed things were much better and seem to have carried on that way.

I've always suspected tho this isn't actually a case of school or class teacher having done anything practical too much (but I do know that the child is not daft and knows when he's being watched, so maybe this was enough) more a case of DC deftly avoiding and him making more secure friendships.

We heard nothing from his actual class teacher only the deputy head (class teacher obviously new at the start of this academic yr) and when we tried to talk to her about it at parents evening in Nov she changed the subject, we weren't overly concerned as I said it seemed to have settled and we only briefly mentioned it and just thought she was running out of time and wanted to get on to some academic stuff which she i'm assuming they have to get through.

Things seem to have started up again in month sadly and I was upset talking to another group of friends at the weekend and said i was going to try speaking to class teacher on Monday.

One of the friends messaged me later at home and said might be best to just go straight to Deputy head again as to warn me that the class teacher is v friendly with the parent if the bullying child.

This parent is the worst (older child is a bully too) but she never pulls them up, they're always fighting with each other if they can't find someone else to pick on. I've seen them draw blood on two occasions, yet she posts these constant sickly posts/pictures on social media about how amazing and wonderful they are - unfollowed ages ago, however the friend screenshotted me loads of these sickly posts of the kids where the class teacher has hearted and or commented on friend says the teacher comments and hearts almost every post of the kids.

This has made me feel really uncomfortable. How can I trust that my child is getting treated fairly and this will be treated objectively if we raise it, it really worries me this has been going on longer than what we know and has been left to be bullied because this teacher and parent are pals and she clearly loves the kids!!!

It's really made me question the changing of the subject at the last parents evening now!

If Deputy Head has already been involved, I would message the class teacher and copy them in.

AFAIW most schools have a policy where you can't have students or parents on social media. I wouldnt have much faith either

I'd go to the Deputy Head, they are already involved and aware of the situation. I'd also express my concern about fair treatment going forward

I would talk directly to the deputy head. And would point out exactly what you said here. None of this is accusatory to the teacher at all just what you have been made aware.

Nearly all of my friends and acquaintances are teachers or TAs. Not one of them is on Facebook. It's unprofessional. I would email the Deputy Head and copy in the teacher.

Don’t believe everything you see on social media! The teacher has to act professionally, however given that the deputy dealt with it last time, I’d go back to them.

It’s not unprofessional for teachers or TAs to have social media- including Facebook and to suggest it is utterly ludicrous. Profiles must be managed well and privacy settings high and they should not be messaging or befriending parents etc but school staff are allowed to have lives.
This particular teacher may have an existing relationship with this parent that predates the child being in her class but she needs to be very careful and personally, I would suggest bypassing her to discuss the issue for the reasons you have outlined. I would be honest with the Deputy head about your concerns.

It’s not unprofessional for teachers to use social media in their social time! I’m a teacher, many of my friends on Facebook are teachers, and some are assistant or deputy head teachers! I read this post on Facebook! What teachers do when they’re not at work is their own business. Would we then go through other professions and decide which professions can and can’t use social media?

I should have phrased it better. They choose not to be on Facebook, because they feel it is inappropriate.

I work in a school and I'm constantly astonished at the members of staff who choose to be "friends" with parents on social media. I wouldn't dream of it! And I think they are asking for trouble at some point.

OP just email deputy head and copy in class teacher. But if it's not dealt with then make a face to face appointment with deputy H.

I'm sick and tired of hearing that teachers shouldn't be allowed to have a normal social life, sex life, online life etc like everybody else. It is not remotely unprofessional or inappropriate for teachers to use social media. Virtually all the teachers I know do, and so do I. You just have to take care over your privacy settings and not be in contact with students!

This phrasing isn’t any better and this absolutely isn’t the norm. It implies that there is something wrong with teachers using Facebook when there categorically isn’t. I’m also sceptical as to the truth of this claim as I don’t know a single teacher who isn’t on social media.