Dh trying to ruin my life

[Lopkmskso]

Dh is a nasty piece of work I’ve come to realise. We have 2 kids together. I have to do everything with them. The other day he said he refuses to help me with our baby. I was so angry by such statement I was trying to explain it and he shut the door in my face. I was so angry I’m lucky I didn’t shout too bad. All I said was I’m not going to stay with him. I found out later he had been recording me trying to bait me into saying something. He also told family I wouldn’t let dd go with them even though I had a play date scheduled. Once again painting me in a bad light. Am i being unreasonable to think there’s a motive behind this madness? I think he knows I’m going to leave him and in return his trying to leverage custody of the kids over me by recording me and painting a picture that isn’t true to all our close family. God, I wish I had chosen better.

I suspect you are exactly right, and your instincts are spot on. It doesn’t sound like you feel especially loved or emotionally safe in your relationship. Are you able to consider speaking to someone in real life about your concerns? Or getting support? Someone out to sabotage your life is a very serious risk and threat, and no I don’t think you should be taking this lightly.

Follow your gut.

Contact women's aid for help and support.

Grey stone. Do not react to him. Be plain, boring, neutral

Nope. I’d rather not anyways out of embarrassment. I got myself in this I have to get myself out. I’m not particularly sad about losing him as he took me for granted. Literally have done everything for him, centred my life around his dreams and wants (his actually very successful now and I gave up my career to watch the kids.) Now this is what I get in return. He could probably afford a really good solicitor if things go left that’s why I certainly don’t want him to be in possession of any video of me. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him. Not to mention I confronted him about this, he went off on me, the next day he came back with friends and acted like nothing was wrong. He will do anything to make it seem like I’m the bad guy.

It doesn’t matter about the video as most divorces are “no fault” now. Do talk to women’s aid, go grey rock but get out.

A recording of you shouting isn't going to do anything. Keeping a record of all the things you do for the kids probably will. He wants to hurt you, not have custody of the kids, would he really want to have them and do all the work?

You are 100% correct, this is how bullies work

He knows you've finally seen the light and now wants to turn everyone against you

Prepare to keep your head and stand firm so that everyone can see that he's the crazy one and not you ❤️

You need a solicitor, a job and a game plan. Probably in that order

HEY OP 👋..
What ages are your children?

Get legal advice.
Ducks in a row time.

Legal advice OP. Are you back working now?

Don’t worry about being ‘bad guy’ unless it’s your family and friends he’s influencing. He might be hoping to provoke you, to make you respond badly and show yourself to be an unfit mother, so do be careful there. Re a divorce, splits almost always starts at 50/50 point and takes no account of ‘fault’ but what’s best for a stable life for children and to ensure you both come out of it relatively fairly. He sounds like a horrible shit and I wish you well