DH offloading mental to do list at night

[KittieCat]

DH is driving me crazy. He has a hugely irritating habit of talking through a to do list either late in the evening or just before bed.
This manifests as him running through all the things that need to be done…just as I’m trying to wind down for the night. It makes me feel stressed out and at that time of night there’s little I can do.
I’ve asked him not to do this so late in the day. To no avail - in one ear out the other.
I am more than happy to go through things we need to do but this feels like he’s offloading…onto me.
It’s really getting on my wick. Is it me?

Tell him to go into another room while he does it. Nobody needs that on a Sunday night.

It's not you! Tell him to write it down if he's stressed that he'll forget stuff overnight. You deserve to get to sleep without a barrage of to do items being reeled off at you.

It sounds like it’s a coping mechanism for him to help him prepare for the day ahead. Get him to write it down and stick it eg on the fridge instead of dumping it out loud

He can write it down and you can talk about it in the morning.

Tell him to enter it into his phone calendar and save it for the following day!

Your husband sounds very anxious. I'd get him to address his anxiety as well as all of the above from PP.

Why can’t people respect people’s right to sleep. If I’m in bed that means I want to sleep

Tell him to write it down. You don’t need to hear it.

Thank you, pleased it isn’t me being precious. It feels like it’s a way of him organising his thoughts but it makes me feel stressed (and/or enraged).
He’s deffo not an anxious person - maybe because he does this!

Is it joint stuff or his stuff? I probably do this a bit but only for joint stuff and because DP never makes any time to discuss this stuff and if I don't share then I have to do it all

Start by adding a few things to his list- some ideas

• buy you a new car
• give you a massage
• dress up as a woman and hoover the house singing “I want to break free”

Hand him a notebook and pen.

I'm just impressed a man has a to do list! 😂

So annoying. Mine likes to throw a "what shall we do tomorrow?" Or "where shall we go on holiday?" Question at me.....meaning what have I organised because he never does the thinking. He is banned from asking me questions before bed now because it results in me being awake all night planning.

@Mandylovescandy it’s more joint stuff - so not his work things but not always things that directly involve me. For example, planning when he can do his hobby.
@WonderingWanda - exactly this. Last night he started trying to get me to engage on planning the logistics of when he does his hobby, how we’re getting somewhere this evening and DS’s movements after school.
I asked him to stop and said I won’t discuss these things after 9pm. It feels ridiculous putting in boundaries like this but otherwise I end up going to bed with my head spinning trying to make logistics work. He thinks I’m being unreasonable…