To not be worried about DD health.

[Stormtee]

So I give all the details up front.
DD3 is 14 and DH coaches her team. He is quite serious about it and has been known to be a bit OTT. That’s not this story but relevant.

DD has always been the kind of child to pick up bugs and get cold sores etc. She’s never really been very sick but wouldn't be particularly robust.

She has been growing a lot over the past year (5ft9 now) and has been caught that nasty bug which has led to a sinus infection, antibiotics and being off school for 4 days.

During her last growth spurt (a year and a half ago) she was getting sick a bit, I took her to the GP and got bloods done but they were all fine.

Since September including these 4 days she has missed 8 days of school, which is far more than usual but she’s been sick so what can you do. She was at the doc last week for the sinus infection and I mentioned we were a bit concerned and doc just said some people pick up more bugs and she wouldn’t be recommending more bloods.

DH seems to take all this as a personal affront (because she misses training/ matches) and is insisting she is brought to the doc again and bloods are demanded. I think this is less about a real worry about DDs health and more about him throwing a strop that she has missed sports. He also gets pissed odd that the teens laze around on couches etc - he has zero understanding of teens. In between all this DD has been diagnosed with mild scoliosis so is having to do daily physio .

We've had an argument about this , I think he just needs to back off and I’m pissed off that she is going to be brought back to the doc for what I see as his petulance - he thinks I’m not concerned enough about her health.

Who is being unreasonable here ?

DH.

I mentioned to Paediatrician DD was seeing for a specific issue that she gets illnesses more then other children. He said unless she is being admitted to hospital for those illnesses then it’a just all within the spectrum of normal. Interestingly stress and negatively impact on immune system, has she got a lot going on?

Not really no, i’m careful not to overload them. I think it’s that my DH just simply cannot countenance someone not being the exact same he was as a teen, which was seemingly perfect.

DH can take her to the Dr then and explain his “worries” to the Dr.

@Notmyrealname22 I think it’s best to let him take her as he doesn’t seem to be willing to take my word. I just think it’s utterly ridiculous and I’m annoyed DD will have to be put through this for DHs petulance.

Does she get sinus issues - have yiu started nasal saline sprays etc? That can really help

and he needs to back off

He sounds annoying and is probably creating a stressful atmosphere. He needs to back off or DD might lose interest in his team (I would).

No not usually, it’s just this one time. It’s just a range of the usual illnesses

What sport does she do OP? It's proven that extreme physical exertion increases cortisol in the body which can lead to inflammation and immune system issues. They say that it's better to do moderate exercise rather than anything hell for leather. Her body is going through a lot of changes and if she has a lot on academically as well, she might just be a bit burnt out. I'd have a serious chat with your husband. Does she actually want to do the sport or is she doing it to keep him happy? He sounds like a pushy parent and you sound like you're already fed up with him.

It’s soccer, not particularly extreme training. He’s an absolute pain about sport.

He sounds a total fucking fool.

Completely is when it comes to sports

You’re being completely reasonable, and he is BU. Not every minor health issue is cause to overreact. If he was a woman people would be looking seriously askance at him over this.