To ask for your best advice for someone about to turn 32?

[MellowSwan]

I’m about to turn 32 and it’s got me reflecting on life, choices, and what really matters. It feels like an in between age - not quite “young and figuring things out” but not fully settled either.

If you’ve been through your 30s (or are in them now), what’s the best advice you’d give to someone entering this stage of life? What do you wish you’d known earlier? Any lessons, regrets, or things you’re glad you did?

Would love to hear different perspectives!

If you want to lose weight and or get fit do it now - it’s easier than it is in your 40s. I so wish I’d kept the weight off I lost in my early 30s 😁😭

Do not get married or have dc with a man who does not already do 50%. If you are with a man who is not doing 50% and you don’t want to split up at least have your eyes open that your child rearing years will be a huge amount of work and the resentment will either ruin your relationship or your self esteem. Ideally be in a relationship with a man who thinks the sun shines out of your arse and not the other way around.

You are young enough to retrain to do something different entirely if you are in a job/career that seemed like a good idea in your 20s but is not serving you now either financially or with opportunities.

This ties in to point 2 - so many women go pt or give up work as it ‘just makes sense’ as they earn less than their partner. You need that 50/50 relationship for that to not bite you on your arse once you have dc. Or ideally you don’t earn less so it’s an entirely different conversation. Do not give up your job if you have dc if you are not married and you are not on the deeds of the house. In the event of a split you will be entitled to absolutely nothing.

32 is not old, live your life!

If you’re single, set yourself a time limit for new relationships. I decided to spend no longer than 6 months with anyone new, unless it felt right. I’d previously let poor relationships go on for longer through fear and hope, but it doesn’t make you happy.

If you haven't got a pension, sort it out yesterday.

That the 20 years you've had since you were 12 probably felt quite loooong .....

But the next 20 years will go by in the blink of an eye and you'll find yourself being 52 and wondering where the hell those decades went. The years seem to go by faster and faster and faster.

So live life, try and enjoy it and don't waste time :)

Start cutting down on bread and alcohol now.
Sun screen every day.
I second the pension thing.
Stop caring what other people think.

Definitely the pension, before you know it you’ll be thinking about retirement and with the way the state pension age keeps rising a personal pension that YOU have control of is a must.
I took mine out at your age and I’m so glad I did.

Say yes to adventure but do start and continue to pay into the pension.

Yes to pension & exercise. Cardio & strength training are good.

Travel as much as you can, abroad and in UK.

Say "yes" more. Go to things you might normally say "no" to. Expand your horizons.

Pay into a pension.

Relationships are partnerships.

Lay off the carbs.

Only buy white crockery.

Treat others how you want to be treated.

Declutter.

Be happy.

Travel as much as you can. I put it off thinking I’d have more time and money when a bit older and now I’m quite disabled and my mobility is so bad that there’s lots of stuff I can’t do/places I can’t go and I’ve been that way since my early 40s! I didn’t think I’d be like this till at least my 70s!

This is all really good advice.
Except the white crockery
After 30 years of white crockery, my new blue crockery is realy making me happy.

I wish I'd had the following 'rules' in my 30s - note that these are for work life not your personal life!

Make work decisions based on your values first, otherwise you will never be happy in your job even with a great salary.

Never, ever 'bring your whole self to work'. No. No. No. Ask yourself why a manager or business would want this ... Yes, exactly.

Never give up too much information (be smart, just give people enough to do a job, not too much that they can exploit you)

Never speak so loud that you forget to listen (nobody will admit gossip or hearsay of an unmalicious kind is really, really important)

Never ask a question you don't already know the answer to (why would you? Ask a different question so you can learn more)

After years of having to deal with awful, controlling and narcissistic people in the NHS and public sector these worked for me.

Do all the really physical stuff that’s easier the younger you are. At your age I could hike 20 miles in a day now at 58 I managed 10 till an injury last year now I can manage about 6. Hoping to be back to 10 by end of summer. Stuff takes longer to heal. Make sure you are as financially solvent as possible. Learn to say no and cost benefit analysis everything so it’s in your best interests. Don't do too much in the way of cosmetics just invest in a decent moisturiser. If you do not want to be overweight take heed now as over 40 it gets a lot harder to remain the same weight.

1. If you want kids.... get on and have them. I am the other side of my thirties and mid late thirties among my friends it became one long saga of miscarriages, still births, infertility and ivf etc. I don't have any friends over 35 who didn't have at least one miscarriage or stillbirth. Between my sister & I we had four.

1. Save. Save. Save.

Don't fall into the trap of delaying have kids and getting used to living a higher income lifestyle, save that payrise and sit there smugly when the childcare bills don't hurt nearly as much later on. Not to mention...PENSION.

1. Lose weight while you can, if you need to, and establish a healthier regime. It feels IMPOSSIBLE trying later on.

Bread?

Yeah. I know several women in late 30s and early 40s who've suddenly found that bread (especially white bread) doesn't agree with them any more. Whether it's UPF or gluten or just carbs I don't really know. The ones who relied on bread a lot (toast for breakfast, sandwich for lunch, pizza for tea...) were a bit stuck!

As a 34 year old I’m finding this thread incredibly depressing

You rarely regret the things you do do, but often regret the things you don’t. Be daring, be bold and take life by the horns.

Floss! 😂🫣

Get your pension sorted, separate from any man, and absolutely go out and take every opportunity going. You only live once. I'm 20 years older than you and regret not doing this.

Your 30s are your prime. Be confident in yourself. Lay solid foundations.
Stand up stand firm don't take any bull shit and go for it.

Admire yourself in the mirror - you will never look as good and your arse and tits will never be as pert as they are today 😂

This, all day long

Depends on your life stage. At your age I was knee deep in kids and certainly not in my prime. 40's have been much better. I have more energy, have lost all the baby weight, sex drive returned. Top tips are don't put yourself past, keep ontop of skincare and eat healthily. Cut down on the booze and get the promotions in before kids, after you have them your career will take a back seat for a bit ( and I was very career ficused before mine- I am again now but it really knocked me for six).

Use spf50 on your face every day