Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you have reacted to this comment?

18 replies

LivelyWasp · 15/03/2025 22:29

Hi all. I'll get straight to it.

My child goes to an activity club. I also do my 1-1s with the same feller who runs activity club. So I know him fairly well.

I had to pick my child up 15 mins early a few days ago. I go into the building & the feller walks up to me as my child is getting their things together & whispers very sexually "I didn't recognise you with your clothes off"

For context I was wearing a normal short sleeved gym top with gym pants. I literally recoiled & shouted "Shut up, don't say that!" & he awkward laughed. I got my child & left.

I was so shocked. That night I text & made my excuses as to why I couldn't do my 1-1 tomorrow. He replied instantly saying "Is it because of what I said?" I ignored him, he text again "I was joking" then another text "Don't keep me in suspense" at this point I knew if I replied saying yes it's because of what you'd said that he'd play it down. So I ignored him. Woke up the next day to another text saying "Have I upset you?"

I've now blocked him & I'm not taking my child back. For more context he's nearly 50 & I'm late 20s. It's genuinely creeped me out as I've been alone with him multiple times. I'm not saying he'd have ever done something to me, but it's unsettled me. The thought of him saying that. Sorry it's so long. Just want to know I haven't overreacted. X

OP posts:
Flightsoffancy · 15/03/2025 22:31

No. Don't doubt yourself or your gut. He sounds like an absolute creep.

LeavesTrees · 15/03/2025 22:36

Very creepy thing for him to say. I think I’d report him to be honest, isn’t that like a form of sexual harrassment?

MumChp · 15/03/2025 22:36

I had responded that he was extremely unprofessional, borderline creepy and unpleasant. And that neither I nor my child would return. Then i had blocked him.
I would file a complaint against him.

Ddakji · 15/03/2025 22:37

Very creepy. You’ve done the right thing.

onemorerose · 15/03/2025 22:37

He sounds like a creep. Why would he even say that when you are fully clothed, I don’t get it? Creep being creepy doesn’t get why that’s creepy? Yes, I’d avoid him.

Enterusername111333 · 15/03/2025 22:38

Feels creepy.

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 15/03/2025 22:38

Weirdo! Trust your instincts

Dontlletmedownbruce · 15/03/2025 22:42

I think your reaction was fair enough. He was out of order.

Original poster
LivelyWasp · 15/03/2025 22:48

Thanks for the replies. Confirmed I've done the right thing. It was so so creepy. X

OP posts:
autisticbookworm · 15/03/2025 23:56

Why would he think it’s acceptable to make such an inappropriate comment? You handled it brilliantly.

Chilliflakesontuna · 16/03/2025 00:01

He crossed a line and was testing the waters. You reacted in a healthy manner- good for you.

There's no point replying much to him as he'll probably just flip it on you as you 'can't take a joke' etc.

He may well have been 'joking' but he's crossed your boundary. He should know better.

FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 16/03/2025 00:35

Well done for not fawning, replying or trying to appease him. Hopefully he feels extremely awkward (not holding much hope for that one).

You definitely did the right thing and I wouldn't have my child or myself anywhere near the creep.

treesandsun · 16/03/2025 01:54

Well done on shouting at him there and then - he was made aware that it was inappropriate and often the shock can prevent someone from reacting but you did.
He may well have been 'joking' but it was not funny, professional or appropriate and his don't keep me in suspense and continuing to text when you're not replying is compounding his behaviour.

I would email the activity club who employ him and outline what happened. They should know because I would suspect it is not the first time he has used that line and he has lost them two sets of fees so at the very least they will bothered by that.

Ummbelieaveable · 16/03/2025 01:58

treesandsun · 16/03/2025 01:54

Well done on shouting at him there and then - he was made aware that it was inappropriate and often the shock can prevent someone from reacting but you did.
He may well have been 'joking' but it was not funny, professional or appropriate and his don't keep me in suspense and continuing to text when you're not replying is compounding his behaviour.

I would email the activity club who employ him and outline what happened. They should know because I would suspect it is not the first time he has used that line and he has lost them two sets of fees so at the very least they will bothered by that.

This ^

nocoolnamesleft · 16/03/2025 02:25

Creepy.

AmberTH12 · 16/03/2025 03:57

That would have made me so uncomfortable, what on earth made him think that was an okay thing to say????
I think you did the right thing in not replying too. The fact he sent you multiple messages is a red flag too and just shows he knew what he did was wrong and he was trying to cover his tracks.

dapsnotplimsolls · 16/03/2025 04:33

Creepy get. Inform his employers.

Original poster
LivelyWasp · 16/03/2025 09:48

Just got around to reading the rest of the replies. Thanks again. He owns the place, if I complained I'd have to complain to him unfortunately. I do believe he was testing the waters. As the week before when I had my 1-1 with him, he told me he'd split up with his girlfriend. Didn't think much of it at the time. My skin was crawling after what he said in my ear. He stepped back after saying it, with a big seedy grin. Until he seen my reaction.x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread