To ask my 4 year old to put his socks in the wash basket?

[silver25]

I’m keen for my 4 year old to do more to contribute to the household, partly to nip in the bud a sense of entitlement but also just for a sense of pride in being a member of a working family.

What does your child do?

So far he:
*Gets himself dressed (but not his socks) and undressed
*Gets his shoes and coat on (but not his bike helmet)
*Clears his plate from the dining table after every meal
*Lays out cutlery for all family members
*Fetches things when asked

The next “job” to add is putting his underwear in the laundry basket.

I’m looking for inspiration for age appropriate jobs, but also a sense of realistic expectations. Thanks!

(we have a 2 year old too so feel free to include suggestions for younger and older ages!)

(I read some of Hunt Gather Parent which is where I originally got the nudge to get them both contributing more)

Mine helped to empty bags after food shop.
They also put the food in the dog bowls and kept an eye on the water bowls.
Paired up the family socks after laundry.
Brought their own clothes to their rooms.

We're away for a long weekend and I've got my guy to pack his toys, and sometimes I'll ask him to help pack, I'll say get 3 pants and socks, or your pjs or something fairly explicit like that. I've started to get him to empty his lunch from his bag and pack it in the mornings.

I'm not consistent though. So I'd say we're hit and miss clearing the table and dirty clothes in the wash. I don't know whether it's better to have one or two jobs and get them completely nailed or just to keep getting them to help with little tasks each day.

My two (5&2) help put away their clothes after washing, my youngest puts away clothes I hand her, pre-folded. They help putting the shopping away where possible (nothing too heavy, breakable, or out of reach), tidy their room (they share and this is very much an activity led by my eldest but my youngest quite enjoys it). They both put dirty clothes in the laundry basket, with some prompting on whether something is clean enough to wear again - but they both put their knickers in each evening.
They’re both always very keen to help hang the washing on the airer but this is actually more of a hindrance in reality. But I encourage the sentiment and then redo it at the end!
With my 2 year old it’s all things she’s happy to do, it’s not like she has set chores I make her do. If I told her she couldn’t help put away her clothes she’d be grumpy about it!

My 4yo does all of that, rubbish in bin, plate in dishwasher, laundry in basket, wipes up own spills, helps fetch things for the baby. She does need reminding/prompting for the laundry and dishwasher. My 7yo does all of above plus helps load/unload dishwasher. My almost 2yo puts things in the bin sometimes 🤣

They also helped their dad wash the car and clean windows. Their bikes got washed too

My 4.5 year old mostly gets himself ready for school. He needs a bit of help with uniform as he has a shirt and tie, but does the rest and gets his school bag, water bottle ready, shoes and coat on. Puts laundry in the washing basket, puts his clean clothes away. Helps put the food shopping away. Loads the dishwasher. Keeps toys tidy. Feeds the cat. Sometimes when I'm cooking he'll help where he can, fetching or putting things in the bin. He has some little gardening tools and helps weeding. He has a couple of plants in his room that he waters. He doesn't have set chores though, these are just the things he wants to do.

My 4 yo

• puts all his clothes in the wash basket at the end of the day
• sccrapes his food into the bin and puts his plate in the dishwasher
• puts his own coat and shoes on
• he helps unload the dishwasher (his request) and brings washing baskets down to put in the machine (his request)

Mine (5&3) do all of that plus they put away their own clean pants, socks and pyjamas into their drawers. They also put away their own plates, cups and cutlery from the dishwasher and help put some of the shopping away depending on the items

By reception class they put all their clothes in the laundry basket, albeit I occasionally retrieved things like a jumper that’d been worn for just an hour or two. They hung up their coat and put their shoes away when coming home.

They put their own litter (wrappers, tissues
etc) in the bin and brought their plate or cup to the dishwasher. Poured their own water at the table. Sometimes they helped empty the easier things in the dishwasher like the cutlery basket.

Got dressed including their own Velcro shoes and coat. I helped with tights and trickier socks and anything with laces.

My daughter could load the washing machine, put detergent in, set it to the usual programme and switch it on, then put the load in the dryer afterwards and switch that on. But her brother not so much! She helped a lot with sock pairing and folding. She could also do a decent job of cleaning up a spillage with a hand held vacuum, dustpan and brush or a cloth - again though her brother was much older.

Got to admit though, I bristle slightly at your “pride in a working family” comment - what’s a non-working family in your book and what does it have to do with putting socks in the laundry?

I was also a bit confused by the working family comment. Why does it matter?

I don't work and my son loves doing his bit round the house (see previous comment). My 2 year old also helps, mainly with laundry, tidying toys and cooking.

I’ve not heard the phrase “working family” used to mean a family where both parents worked. I assumed OP meant more like functioning - a family where everyone works together to make everything run smoothly.

If you have a tumble drier, then moving the clothes from the washing machine to the tumble drier is a great one for your 2 yo. I just do a quick check first to remove anything that can't go in the tumble drier.

Our kids (20 mo and 3 yo) also help the put the groceries away (e.g. specific items that go in a cupboard they can access, or they bring me anything that needs to go in the fridge).

Gardening is also a good one at this season, they can help picking up weeds, or seeding/planting.

My sister get all their kids very involved with cooking too. I haven't managed to get to that level yet, but when I last saw her, her 3yo was doing all the veggie chopping for dinner, I was impressed!
I think it does require more time to teach them at the beginning, and kids who are interested in sitting down focusing on a task, which mine aren't really good at yet.

Mine puts his clothes away in his drawers - I put them all in a basket which I leave in his room and he then puts it away. He likes to decide what goes where in the drawers, which is fine because he can then find it when getting dressed.

Also - if you want him to put underwear in laundry basket he may as well put all clothes in after taking them off - it's no extra work.

Working family as in we’re all doing our part / contributing, as opposed to the parents doing everything and the kids just being cared for and entertained 😍

My DS age 4 lets the kitties in and out when they the ask- which is all freakin day, feeds them dry food and treats, puts on his clothes and puts them in the basket, wakes up papa and tells him to make my coffee, brushes his teeth first and then we do it to make sure it's done. These are pretty much daily

He will sometimes help me cook or brush my hair but these are obv not chores

He gets good tidying up stickers at nursery though I am skeptical. We are working on this

I’m interested to know with all of these replies how much printing is required? My 5yo does a lot of these, but need to be reminded or prompted almost every time.

Our four year old helps with dusting, gardening, laundry, putting away the shopping and sometimes cooking if he wants to.

His official chores are setting the table and putting his clothes in the wash basket. We’re going to add making his bed once he turns five. I don’t trust him to carry plates yet as he’s quite clumsy 😅

I'm surprised there's any chores left for you to do

Oh loads 😂 He does not remember automatically.