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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I’ve got parenting wrong

3 replies

Gdaygnight · 15/03/2025 20:00

I feel like I’ve got the balance completely wrong and now I won’t get the time back that I’ve missed.
My children are 4 and 2. I’m self employed and my work involves some evening work. I can pick and choose how much to take on but financial reasons have meant I’ve worked a bit more in the evenings than I have in the past.
This has meant that my husband has been doing most of the bedtimes in recent months. I’d say on average I do 3 per week and he does 4 maybe 5.
Tonight my youngest asked for his dad rather than me to read him his story and it’s just broken me. I feel so so sad and guilty that he didn’t want me. He’s obviously used to his dad doing bedtime more and wanted that familiarity over me.
Have I let me kids down? I’m worried I’ll look back on these times when they’re grown up and regret missing out on bedtimes. I also have been doing loads of DIY and gardening recently so feel like I’ve been distracted and not giving enough attention 😔

AIBU - don’t feel guilty or sad, the kids are fine and happy
YANBU - do feel guilty and do something to change the current set up. Your kids aren’t getting enough of you

OP posts:
Springhassprungxx · 15/03/2025 20:03

Of course you haven't op - stop beating yourself up - kids are very fickle and if dad was reading he probably would habe asked for you!

MJBear · 15/03/2025 20:04

Kids Whims change like the wind
my kids love dad putting them to bed as he does the voices when reading books - if I am here my voices are just not as good!!!!

JLou08 · 15/03/2025 20:33

I doubt any dad would feel guilty over this. There's nothing wrong with the bed times being split how they are. A young child having a preference for a particular parent doing a certain activity does not mean that the other parent is failing or not wanted. Try and let go of that guilt.

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