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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Soft play drama

31 replies

1tiredmummy568 · 15/03/2025 19:08

It was a busy saturday at a garden centre soft play with a party having been booked in an adjacent room with the older kids from the party quite hyped up on all the soft play equipment. Ordered a coffee for my husband and let him go drink it while I played with my 2 year old in the 2-5 area. Lots of the older kids were in the area so I was on high alert and staying close.
LO wanted to crawl through a tunnel that was on the base of a slide that the bigger kids were climbing over so I let her go through when the other side was clear and quickly got myself in position on the other side of the tunnel/slide.
One of the older kids instead of going down the slide covered the hole straight away with her legs and started kicking her feet while my child was still crawling through. I quickly told the child to be careful and let her know that my little one was coming through and to quickly move out the way. The child jumped down and ran off onto another piece of equipment and carried on playing while my daughter got out safely. Benounced to me the older kids dad was sat next to me and told me that "I shouldn't speak to a child that way and should have said excuse me instead" the mum was sat next to him and said " you say excuse me!" I was quite honestly in shock at the whole situation. I just apologised while the dad was staring me down and explained that I was concerned for my childs safety in the situation and needed to get her out quickly. I then left with my daughter pretty quickly and we played mainly in the older kids or baby area. The kid did not seem upset or even slightly bothered by the situation. It really concerns me that he saw the situation and didnt tell his child to be safe and move out the way. I feel like he also wouldnt have said that to me if my husband was around. Was that a situation in which I should have said excuse me? What would you have done said? Was the dad being unreasonable? Would love to know your thoughts.

OP posts:
Rivari · 15/03/2025 19:10

He was unreasonable.

fourelementary · 15/03/2025 19:11

He’s a knob- I’d have said “excuse me- can you
mind your own business!”

Any kids over the age limit I also ask to go play elsewhere if a younger child wants to play there- they get priority.

Annascaul · 15/03/2025 19:14

Pair of gobshites with a badly behaved kid 🤷🏻‍♀️
Don’t give them any more headspace.

Bournetilly · 15/03/2025 19:14

YANBU. I wouldn’t have been apologising to him.

Justified07 · 15/03/2025 19:15

YANBU but if you’re going to keep going to soft play you’ve got to grow a thicker skin! There are always people being BU in soft play!

RoastDinnerSmellsNice · 15/03/2025 19:18

It doesn't sound like you had the time for niceties, as your child was on their way through, I'd have just told the kid to move too, and would have told him if he paid more attention to what his child was doing, you wouldn't have had to speak to them in the first place.

Bababear987 · 15/03/2025 19:35

Soft play is often full of people who just sit back and ignore their kids and it's my pet peeve when they take over the baby and toddler areas when there are kid areas too.

Bababear987 · 15/03/2025 19:36

You're also 100% right that he wouldnt have confronted you if your husband was there, cowards always like to feel like the big man.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 15/03/2025 19:39

Fuck apologising, they were knobs, lots of them at soft play unfortunately.

Onlyvisiting · 15/03/2025 19:42

Depends how you said it. Politeness costs nothing, if you ordered a child you don't know to be careful and told them to move out the way then yes, it's just as rude as if you had said it to an adult.
You can say, please be careful/excuse me my DD is in there/watch out please, my dd is coming through' all very quickly, it wasn't exactly a life or death situation to start barking orders and kids deserve politeness too.

Chuchoter · 15/03/2025 19:43

He's a prat but you know there is likely to be a problem when there are older kids so I would not have gone to the play area at a the time and said to my child that it was full so we are going g round the garden centre and then returned when the party of bigger children had finished.

IamALamaEatingABanana · 15/03/2025 19:44

Should have told him that maybe if he parented own his child properly, you wouldn't have to do it for him.

What a knob he was and you're right that he wouldn't have opened his mouth if your DH was there.

Whateveryouwant1 · 15/03/2025 19:45

Had this once. I told two older kids to stop rough playing in the babies area. They went out but then their mum came over to me and threatened to knock me out! All while the staff just sat and did nothing. Unbelievable. Never went back.

Firenzeflower · 15/03/2025 19:47

He's a knob and his kid will grow up to be a knob.
Good for you. You protected your child and were polite enough.

SometimesCalmPerson · 15/03/2025 19:47

We didn’t hear the tone of voice you used to their child, and that is what will make all the difference. It sounds like it wasn’t a case of what you said, but how you said it.

fizzwhizz1 · 15/03/2025 19:53

@Justified07 well said; in softplay you will need much thicker skin!

9fthighfence · 15/03/2025 19:56

There is no gate to the toddler or baby area in our soft play and I think there should be. It’s not as though the under 4s aren’t going to have a parent with them, and it would stope the older kids getting in. I’m always having to hoik my 5 year old out.

Kibble29 · 15/03/2025 19:56

When you say they were older kids, are we talking 6 or 10 years old?

On the surface of this, you were being unreasonable to apologise to the clown.

Also agree that you’ll need to get a thicker skin and find your voice when it comes to soft play; they’re full of shit parents and their offspring. Speak up for yourself and don’t let some dick treat you like a kid.

Lostinidea · 15/03/2025 20:09

There are always people being BU in soft play!

This is true. But if it wasn't the case then large parts of AIBU would just be tumbleweed!

IveGotAnUnusuallyLargePelvisISwear · 15/03/2025 20:14

Never apologise for telling a child to be careful of kicking another child. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but I like to think I would have replied he needs to spend less time telling me what to say and more time parenting his own child.

HundredPercentUnsure · 15/03/2025 20:15

IveGotAnUnusuallyLargePelvisISwear · 15/03/2025 20:14

Never apologise for telling a child to be careful of kicking another child. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but I like to think I would have replied he needs to spend less time telling me what to say and more time parenting his own child.

I love a soft play drama.

I'd like to think I'd respond like this in the moment, too (but in reality I'd probably just fluster and splutter in shock).

MrsSunshine2b · 15/03/2025 20:19

"If you had been keeping an eye on your child, you could have handled it the way you thought was best. As you didn't I was forced to handle it the way I thought best. I advise you to try parenting your own child in future."

arcticpandas · 15/03/2025 20:21

YABU for having apologised unless you spoke rudely to the other kid.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 15/03/2025 20:21

I'd have said, "Excuse me, can you parent your child please instead of sitting on your bum watching while they annoy and endanger other children?"

Hereslookinatyoukid · 15/03/2025 20:23

Something like this happened to me once. People who don’t parent their children take great offence if you have to speak to their little darlings to keep everyone safe.