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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just in tears

3 replies

BeNimbleDenimRobin · 15/03/2025 18:40

Hi, posting on here cos don’t know what to do or who to tell
ive had very on&off relationship with my ex for like 4 years, he vanishes then comes back. Haven’t had contact for like few months he last saw me on night out with another man who I was seeing & he didn’t like it he got upset&asked if I was truly happy. That night passed then radio silence. Single & on my own.
last Sunday two of his friends messaged me saying he wants my number & if it’s ok to give it to him.
tonight I’ve been thinking & reminiscing which is stupid & I know he’s my ex for a reason but I miss him deep deep down. I called his phone & it rang this time (blocked before). I left two messages just light ones “hi your friends said you wanted my number is everything ok?”
been like 30 mins & he hasn’t got Back to me. This is the usual pattern the way it goes- he comes back then we fall out & don’t talk for months. He is probably going out tonight to our local bar with his female friend as usual. This woman is horrible she’s cheated on her husband with several different men & i heard she was round my ex’s flat the other day helping him paint his walls. I bet there’s something going on between them, none of my business as we aren’t together anymore but it kills me. I do miss him & he’s probably out tonight forgetting me.
his lovely father passed around January so I’m just confused why he’s sniffing round me after such a loss. I keep seeing these women with pregnancy announcements with partners & im currently sat sobbing. I’m so so upset
just need to let it out, my life is a mess

OP posts:
LonelyLeveret · 15/03/2025 18:46

You probably know this already but your ex isn't good for you and will never meet your emotional needs. People that vanish then pop back into your life only when it suits them are never going to make you feel safe, secure and loved in the way that you can settle into a happy relationship. It can be hard when you're single and see others meeting relationship milestones but try to focus on you and what makes you happy. Have you got supportive friends or family? A job that you like? Hobbies? Xx

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 15/03/2025 18:46

Oh bless you girl 🥺

He's not the one for you though - you deserve someone who will make you their whole world, not disappear for ages and then pop back up with the bare minimum

He loves the power that he has over you girl, I'm sorry. Yanbu to need a cry though. Love hurts and too many men are terrible.

I'd focus on what you want out of life, that you can provide for yourself. How can you change your life so it looks right? Once you get there - then will come the right man ❤️

doubleshotcappuccino · 15/03/2025 19:03

If you got the message you’ve posted from a friend what would you say ? How would you feel for that woman ? Don’t sell yourself short - he wants to keep you in his orbit but only to reject you . I’m probably not quoting exactly right but I love the quote “the first time someone reveals themselves to you believe them “ he’s already told you how your story with him will play out and if you go down that path you’re closing all the other possibilities that would open up

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