I’m sleeping with the boss apparently

[Moana3]

I work for an owner-managed business. I am the only other director of the business. The owner is 15 years older than me.

A junior staff member (a couple of years younger than me) was staying at a hotel with the owner and I.

She has gone and told other members of staff that the owner was sleeping with me.

I am not sure how to tackle this.

1. Do nothing. Baseless gossip comes with the job. Man up.
2. Speak to HR and raise a formal grievance.
3. Speak to HR and ask them to have a word with her.
4. Confront her directly.

Has anyone been in this situation? What is the best course of action?

Who has informed you that she’s been saying this, and are they willing to back you up if you go to HR or will they deny all knowledge?

Definitely a formal grievance. That’s horrible and you need it on record.

I vote 3. Definitely not 1. She’s done it out of jealousy, to destabilise you. Take some of the power back.

I would speak to HR and go through the formal route. There is no place for nasty gossip in a business. People like the junior cause marital issues and workplace bullying, it’s awful behaviour.

If you are certain that she has done this - and assuming you weren't sleeping with the boss - then it would be 2 for me.

Formal grievance. It's utterly unacceptable.

What does the owner say? I assume they’ve heard the same or you’ve told them?

How was this communicated to you?

Yes, people who have been told will confirm if asked by HR.

Maximum repercussions for me OP. She is so out of order.

Oh…. It’s you again

the one with the funky pidgeon card accusing you of an affair with the owner who’s 15 years older than you

Oh, I remember. The ‘loud, comical’ darts agent colleague.

OP, you’re obsessed. Time to get out of darts.

Or was it Moonpig 👀

How certain are you that she's definitely been spreading rumours and that it's not whoever told you about it stirring, or someone getting the wrong end of a comment about you and the owner both sleeping over?

I might have an informal conversation with HR about it but tell them my plan was to talk to her directly first and find out what, if anything, she'd actually said and to who.

Proper fruit loop this one

I'm guessing it wasn't the colleagues wife who sent it to her and one to herself then ?

So your junior colleague thinks you’re shagging the boss, his wife got a mysterious card saying you were shagging the boss — are you shagging the boss?

There is no card - I’m lost. Owner is single, I am not.

I’m guessing this OP has an unhealthy obsession with her boss and this drama is all in her head

Without a doubt- number 2

Me. Last year. Everyone decided I was having an affair with my boss (again relating to a hotel stay) and upsettingly the rumours were started from within my team. They even ended up raising it with HR (who obviously dismissed it). He left the job unaware of the rumours I imagine. I was left with all the whispers and crude stories all getting back to me.

I decided to take the moral high ground while applying for other roles elsewhere. I’m not actually sure if this was the right approach or not as it made me really, really ill over a few months. I’ve been married 24 years to my lovely husband and my levels of inner suppressed rage, hurt, shock were enormous. I literally couldn’t face driving in to another day of knowing they would be spreading vicious lies and runours.

It was a toxic environment and I think in a lot of ways I was upwardly bullied by a group of nasty, individuals caught up in a cycle with one particular ring leader. With hindsight, she sneakily bitched about everyone (even her work best friend), so I probably should have been more aware that having a character like that in the team would bring problems.

Luckily I got out of there for a much better place in September, but it still really erks me that I didn't set the record straight. But who knows if people would have believed me anyway as the real story was much more boring.

Lots of strength to you. It is a truly horrible thing.

Definitely 2.

I would also put a hex on her.

I love my job and I’m good at it. There is no reason for me to quit. I will lodge a formal complaint with hr.

Are you sleeping with the boss?

Why, though?

No