AIBU to think lots on MS have an agenda and judge people with bias?

[Ishoulddomore]

AIBU to think this? I’ve read/lurked for a while mainly to try and get advice. It seems many people just jump in/pile on without knowing full facts and offer advice without knowing the full facts. I’ve seen people telling others to divorce/split up. Have they made couples separate when really they shouldn’t or does saving a person from a horrible situation outweigh this?

Do you mean MN?

People advise on what they read, the facts as they are presented to them.
No-one is forced to take the advice they receive.

Ah, is this the weekly “mumsnet is so mean” thread? Do you go on other forums and tell them they’re doing it wrong?

If you want sensible, thoughtful advice, don't post in AIBU. Its a zoo in here. Plenty of the other sections are much more sensible.

I doubt that anyone is daft enough to leave their partner purely based on advice from dribbly Internet randoms.

Have they made couples separate when really they shouldn’t

No. No one posting on MN has ever made anyone do anything 👍

Yes. Nobody on MN ever has a row with their DH; nobody has ever raised their voice in a moment of frustration. Any minor, one-off incident is labelled ‘abuse’.

I see posts where a poster will recall an incident where they’ve been shouted out once when they were a child, recalling the ‘trauma’ and everyone tells them to go NC with their toxic parent.

I do find a lot of people giving - albeit well-meaning advice - are often concocting an entire narrative from an isolated incident.

MN or SM or something else?

Have they made couples separate when really they shouldn’t

1. Who is they?
2. If it's a happy, supportive and equal partnership usually then nothing anyone else says will break that relationship. It's all down to whether it's a pattern of bad behaviour rather than a one off situation.

😕

MN Is famous for being horrible. I am always surprised when people who don't get the response they wanted and throw their toys out of the pram and moan about they thought MN was for mums supporting each other. Why did you think that?

Yes, sorry. MN.

I don’t think it’s mean at all. I have read lots of good advice here.

I get that, but do you think people perhaps read what random people post on the internet and take their opinion as gospel?

My thoughts exactly. I find that many judge from a bad experience of their own.

If a randomer on an internet chat forum can 'make a couple separate', they really shouldn't have been part of a couple to begin with.

The majority of adults are mature enough to take responsibility for their own actions, no matter what sort of advice they receive.

They can take it or leave it.

I’ve read something that has questioned what I thought was a good marriage. Not great, we have our problems (I thought like most people do)

Yes, which is bizarre as outside of Mumsnet people are completely neutral and all advice given is objective.

Well how on earth do expect people to reply then?

I Just tend to think overall it gives the impression of not being a very bright/ clever/ smart forum and that’s where the weird advice and comments come from.

Of course there are absolute pockets of interests and intelligence but overall that’s not really the vibe MN gives off

AIBU is feral. If you want more specific and reasoned advice, then post in a more targeted part of the site.

Meanie.

Of course, I am also a meanie.

If they do that's their problem.

Well, maybe you’re wrong about what constitutes a good marriage? Lots of people have an incredibly low bar.

Those kind of threads always amuse me.

OP: AIBU for some extremely unreasonable behaviour.
MN: Fuck yes.
OP: Jesus, this place is awful and you are all bitches. I thought this would be a good place to come and get some support but it's full of bitter old sticks. Hope you are all happy that you have managed to drive me away.

OP, approx 4 posts later: Still hate it here and still think you are all awful.

Posting here is for perspectives. You don't have to agree with them or follow the advice. Everyone still has to think for themselves.

The mean standard of literacy and reading comprehension is very low, but conversely there are some very intelligent and knowledgeable people who post on various threads.