To think that being kind to new colleagues always comes back around?

[ForGreatMintDreamer]

I’ve always believed that it’s worth making an effort with new colleagues, even if they seem quiet or unsure at first. People remember kindness, and in the long run, those same colleagues might be the ones who support you when you need it most. Whether it’s sharing useful information, vouching for you in a tricky situation, or just making work more pleasant, I think treating people well always pays off.

AIBU to think that people underestimate the long-term benefits of being welcoming to new colleagues?

Well - I don’t know anyone who would be unwelcoming, so this isn’t a phenomenon I’ve come across in 30 odd years.

Do you work with a lot of people who don’t do this?

It does sound a bit calculating if you are just trying to get something out of it. Why aren’t you always kind to people as a matter of course, whether they can be useful to you or not?

No good deed goes unpunished.

though I’m not sure why being pleasant to new colleagues is in any way above and beyond normal behaviour

I’ve definitely come across workplaces where new colleagues are met with indifference or even hostility, especially in cliquey environments. I just think people sometimes forget how much a small kindness can mean when you’re new.

I started work in a remote role in January and I have certainly noticed the people who have gone out of their way to be helpful and friendly, as most haven’t. I will definitely remember who they are. So yes, I agree with you.

I do believe in being kind as a matter of course but I also think that kindness has a ripple effect. It’s not about being calculating - it’s just recognising that the effort you put into making someone feel welcome can have long-term positive effects for everyone.

I've appreciated my colleague being kind helpful and supportive this last year.
Another one tried and her true colours that I was warned about came out.
Having had a dreadful time at my last job and a fantastic time for 5 years prior to that I can see how kindness pays dividends.
I always take the newbie under my wing.

I’ve never known anything else in the workplace, tbh.

My son has just started his first grad job after uni and he’s been shown nothing but kindness.

I remember when I started the job that I’m in now, who helped me and showed me the ropes and didn’t give an incline that it was in any way an inconvenience even though it definitely was. I’ve never forgotten them and their kindness and patience.
i always try and be welcoming and respectful and show the same warmth and kindness as shown to me. It’s just part of being a decent person really isn’t it?
Mostly people are kind!

Interestingly I’m experiencing the opposite recently! New colleagues starting, bolshy and unaccommodating from day one, desperate to ‘make their mark’ with no care for making friends.

A few months down the line they’re surprised nobody is bending over backwards to help them out. It’s entirely new to me, I’ve been fortunate to work with people who have been friendly and welcoming up until now.

In your example, I can’t imagine ever being unwelcoming to a new starter. We all had a first day once - we all know how daunting it can feel. I don’t do it to get something back in return but you’re right that the impression you make definitely affects how people will work with you in the future.