Trying to understand

[optimistic47]

I have had a painful situation. A former coworker (a man) had been impersonating me for 10 years on a fake blog using my married name as an 'affectionate spoof'. I traced the culprit after 10 years. Reality: when I worked with him, I spoke with him only three times in another department. He is in the public eye, and I read a story and found out that he had based a previously based a script on a research fellow he worked with. On my birthday last year, he was on the bbc with a selected playlist, which had some underlying references to my work as a freelance journalist. I never fancied him, I have been happily married for 30 years and we never contacted each other out of work. This week, I found out he's had a baby daughter. I want to wish him well despite him being unkind to me, but I feel really confused right now.

Just ignore him. He's spoofing you online and you want to be chums?

From what you've said he sounds quite unwell or potentially obsessed with you.

Don't communicate with him, especially don't initiate communication.

I would also be documenting everything you've said here.

I don't understand why you want to wish this person well.

I'd be speaking to a solicitor to see whether anything can be done.

Why the hell would you wish this person well or even want to get in touch with him?

He's clearly nuts. A cease and desist order would have been appropriate. Getting in touch to say congrats you’ve had a child is so very not.

Unfortunately I've tried over the years to reach out to the police, google, and any other channel. The laws in the UK are rubbish, apparently 'parody' is okay across certain channels, but you and I know there was something dark and disturbing going on here. In terms of wishing someone well, this is purely for my own mental health. I want to add I am not reaching out to him to congratulate him on anything. But you can appreciate this was carried out over several years so it can screw with your head.

You’re clearly mentally unwell. I wish you well

Avoid him entirely. Do not engage. Do not do anything at all that might encourage him to think you have positive feelings of any kind.

The bloke is a total weirdo.

And don't try to understand him.