How to separate from DH amicably?

[Puttheheatingonplz]

This man makes me so miserable. Talks to me badly threatened to smash up my tv and laptop in front of my mum today. He is now saying that I am trying to make him out to be bad the guy in front of my mum but he does it himself.

He complains about everything I’m not allowed to have the heating on because he’s boiling hot and suffocating.

I just want to wash my hands with him but he won’t leave. How on earth do I do this without upsetting my children?

The quickest way is for you to realise that you aren't amicable with him now, so it isn't remotely likely that he will behave amicably when you start separating.

Search online for someone local to give you some legal advice regarding separating from him. You should be able to get 30 mins free from most places. Try and get hold of as much financial information as you can, and take it with you. Does he have somewhere else he can live if he needs to? What about you and the kids (only if it was dangerous for you to remain in the house with him and he won't leave)?

I'm pretty sure the 30 mine free is a myth. You will mostly likely have to pay for it but it would be money well spent.

It won’t be amicable. It isn’t amicable now and he isn’t going to suddenly become a nicer person. Get legal advice and get rid of him

If he's behaving in an abusive way towards you now, how likely is it that he's going to separate in an amicable way? You need to brace yourself, expect him to be unpleasant to deal with, get all the support you can from family and friends and get legal advice asap.

If you're married and the house is a marital asset, you're probably not going to be able to make him leave. The most likely scenario is that the house will have to be sold and the money split between you. I know it's scary but try to look at it as a fresh start for you and the children.

Get your important documents together and put them somewhere safe. See a solicitor and get legal advice. Good luck OP 💐

It's not going to be amicable; he's abusive. He's not going to get any nicer when you start standing up to him.

Rented house or owned? His name, yours or both?

Gather proof of assets, his income and all that; make copies and keep them where he can't get to them. Then consult a solicitor.

I’m afraid split ups from men who have become arseholes usually aren’t amicable- you just have to grit your teeth

It’s not. All the family law firms in my area offer it. I do agree it’s worth OP investing in legal advice even if she has to pay from the outset though.

If you know he won’t leave, you will have to divorce him to force the issue.

I am concerned that you wouldn’t be safe though. Do you own or rent? Is there somewhere safe you could go?

Your solicitor will be able to advise whether his behaviour warrants police involvement which could force him to leave the house.