I need some help dealing with my neighbour.
Background. Three brand new build council houses, and three years ago, three families got to move in.
It was amazing. 11 years on a wait list for us, next door's story was a single mum of 3 kids who had been holed up in a women's refuge after leaving DV.
Last summer, the lady next door (Let's call her Joan) told me that her ex had picked up her three kids from school and not brought them home.
She fell into a depression and stopped working (quit or fired, I don't know). She got a new boyfriend who seemed nice enough and she seemed ok-ish. We would chat over the fence and it was nice.
But then we started noticing she was playing music really loudly in the mornings. She had the TV on, playing evangelical music which she sang along to.
At first we thought it was sweet, and understandable, leaning into her faith for comfort. But we noticed it was becoming a daily occurance. She started also quoting scripture. But not quietly. She was shouting at the top of her voice. Like Constantine or the priest in Exorcist trying to cast out a demon. Things like "IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST!!" etc, and shouting and whooping and clapping. Every day. Then it was banging really loudly. Thumping furniture. Windows and back door wide open.
She signing becaming chanting and ranting and banging. Every morning from 8am. Always when the boyfriend was at work.
One day there was an argument and banging and we were worried so my husband popped round to ask if she was ok and she said she was fine, but off her meds and so, a little manic.
We started to get worried. Then as winter set in, she started taking it outside, lighting fires. Every day she would light a new fire in a metal barrel and she would chant to herself and sing.
Recently the weather has improved and I've started hanging my washing outside. At lunchtime, Joan started a fire, after her morning of chanting and shouting and I ran outside to fetch it in, ruined from smoke, I was a bit annoyed I asked her if she needed anything taking to the recycling centre and she said "no, I'm cleansing the house of the man". I politiely requested that she have her fires after dark so that we could use the garden for our 2 year old to play in and to dry laundry. She mumbled again about "the man". I said I didn't mind her having fires at night. While I was there, I asked her to keep her windows and dorrs shut when she was singing and chanting as we have a toddler who would like to play outside. Nothing.
The very next time I hung laundry out, she started a fire and ruined it. So that time, I wrote a letter explicitly asking her to have her fires at night and to keep her voice down and windows and doors shut. So not telling her she couldn't, but to be a bit more considerate. I took pains to be as kind as possible, knowing she was going through a lot.
One hour later, I got a note through the door complaining we were too loud on Halloween last year when we put on a big show for all the neoighbourhood kids. We were done by 9.30pm and had over 100 visitors enjoying our halloween display. Her other complaint was her seeing me sunbathing topless in my garden 2.5 years ago when I was pregnant. We have 6ft fence panels so I thought I was ok! Plus, I was topless, not nude, in my own garden. I didn't think to ask permission to sunbathe in my own garden. She said I should be more respectful to her.
I bounced a note back stating I would not consider covering up in my own garden and I would continue to do Halloween for all the neighbourhood kids every year. But fires every day is classed as a nuicance, the noise she makes every day for over 6 months has grown into a nuicance, and the skunk she smokes every day is very much illegal and up to now we have been ok with it. But unless she wants a report to the council, could she please be more considerate.
Now onto today. As soon as I put my fresh laundry on the line, she started a fire, started shouting and chanting and singing her gospel songs at the top of her voice with her windows and doors wide open.
I lost it a bit and asked her if she needed help. I also rather cheekily quoted the bible, the bit about love thy neighbour. She gave me the finger and refused to talk to me.
So I told her I was calling for a welfare check. She gave me the finger again and just started singing louder.
I called 111 and described the situation. The call handler said to call 999 and ask for the police instead. So I did and they said they would send an ambulance.
An ambulance came, knocked on her door once, then left because she didn't answer.
I feel terrible for wasting NHS resources and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by complaining.
AIBU to escalate to the council and police? She has 2 years left on her tenancy and so they could evict her. It seems like she is pressing the self destruct button. She is vulnerable, but after 6 months, she has gotten worse.
Yes - Escalate it, she is out of order
No - Have more sympathy and use the tumble dryer instead