Neighbour shouting at us. WWYD?

[Flappybirds]

We live in a detached house in a nice street, desirable area. Home is owned (with mortgage). Me, husband and two teenagers. We keep ourselves to ourselves and are good neighbours (no noise, no parties etc, clean and tidy). We live on the corner and get on well with our left hand neighbours (exchange pleasantries etc). Our right hand neighbours are round the corner (so we don’t see the front of their house when we come out of our house, buy our gardens are next to one another (with fence) and our driveways are side by side (separated by a hedge). I think they rent the house.

The man that lives next door is constantly shouting at us. He’s probably late 50’s (we are late 40s). I don’t think he works (or he works from home) and lives with his wife but we never ever see her. If I leave the house and go into my back garden he often comes out of his house and starts shouting or muttering loudly. Often this is only for a minute or two and then he slams his door and goes back inside. It’s usually the same, shouting things like ‘you think you’re so clever, don’t you?’ Or ‘I know what you’re doing, you b**y stalkers’ or similar. He is often swearing. Sometimes I leave to go out and he comes out the front and shouts similar. Sometimes he will just stand at the end of his drive shaking his fist at me and watching as I drive off. Other times, he will bang on his windows as we are coming/ going.

I’m pretty sure that he is mentally unwell. I’ve seen/ heard him in the street shouting at others (and shouting at no one) but it seems to be mostly directed at us. He’s never entered our property line or approached us face to face- the shouting is always over the fence/ hedge. I always completely ignore him and carry on with what I’m doing, as do the rest of the family.

It’s really getting me down and I feel uneasy leaving the house. Earlier today, I put the bin out and felt my heart rate rise as I pulled it across the drive (he actually didn’t come out in this occasion). The summer is coming, we are not big garden users but would like the option of using the garden.

WWYD?

Continue to ignore?
Confront him?
Report to the police (I’m mindful that a recorded neighbour dispute is not ideal)?

Report him.

Can you ask your other neighbours what his deal is?

That's sounds really unpleasant. Who moved in first? If it was him then the previous owners should have mentioned it on the selling info or they really weren't that bothered. The fact that he shouts in the street means it's not targeted at you. I guess if it ramps up in Summer (when you're out in the garden) you could ask the Police to do a welfare check.
I was threatened by a neighbour years ago, not a next door one. I was too shocked at the time to do/say anything but 2 days later I knocked on their door and told them that if they ever did that again, I'd report to the Police. He never bothered me again and in fact, was very civil to me.

He sounds unwell and it's not personal if he's doing it to others.

If you want to do something, then you could keep a diary and install CCTV. However, I don't know what will happen if he can't help it.

Ignore him unless it gets worse, ie, he starts approaching you, coming on your property, grabbing you by the arm to hold you in place while he shouts at you, or something of that nature. I know it must be unpleasant, but sadly he's not actually doing anything wrong .... yet!!

To who 🥲 I’m going through similar - police keep telling us it’s a local authority anti social behaviour issue, the local authority ASB keep telling us it’s a police issue. Almost a year on of sending videos, various phone calls, no one is helping us. Their landlord is local authority too who fobs us off on either ASB team or police every single time.

Report everytime. Start building a record against him in case anything goes south

You think he's renting.
I wonder if you could find out who the landlord or the agent is. It might be better to talk to them.

Other neighbours might not want to get involved but friends would I bet. So, if he starts shouting abuse at you when friends are around it's defo time to call the Police.

We’ve lived here 8 years and am not actually sure when they moved in. It’s been going on for at least 5 years. We go through good and bad periods (which I’m assuming tie in with his mental health), things are quite bad at the moment.

A few years ago, an ambulance turned up at their house and sat on the drive (with him inside) for a couple of hours, I think he was likely in crisis at that point.

Sometimes I wonder what his wife is doing in all of this, she came out to chat to me when I was power washing the drive during Covid and seemed like a nice woman. I’ve not seen her in years (but wouldn’t necessarily, as mentioned, the front of their house is round the corner from our house)- it’s entirely possible that she’s left or is under the patio (mostly joking with that final comment).

Cctv to the edge of your property with sound recording -.document his harrassment

I’ve asked our left hand neighbours and they don’t know anything, just said that they’ve noticed his foul language. I don’t know any of the other neighbours, it’s a wide street and houses fairly well spaced out, and everyone seems to be out most of the time (working, I’m assuming).

Can you talk to other neighbours and ask? I know one man walking around in the city and who just starts screaming or singing opera or shouting swear words all of a sudden. He had a car accident and has neurological problems. If you say "Hi X, how are you?" he immediately becomes calm, smiles and say hi, how are you. At first my kids were afraid of him, now they shout hi and wave when they see him. Just saying that it's good to have the backstory to his behaviour and if there is anything one can do to calm him down.

It seems like he's really delusional and paranoid so maybe a report will lead to him getting treatment.

Yes, I have considered this, which is why I mentioned him renting. I’ve just found the previous rental advert on Rightmove so I can see the agent it was listed with, I can also see the date of the listing, which is a year after we moved in, so I’m guessing we were here first.

I might use the PP idea of CCTV recording and go to the letting ag3nt once I have some evidence. That said, I expect if he sees or cottons on to us recording him it may antagonise him further.

My mum is like this, she has PTSD unmedicated. Ps - not saying it makes it okay, it's just her down to a T.

Sounds shitty though op, sorry.

Sounds like he perhaps has mental health issues or dementia.

Get a ring doorbell to record things just in case

They don't have any obligation to get involved.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/anti-social-behaviour-asb-case-review-also-known-as-the-community-trigger

Is your friend

I don’t know who you’d report him to, but while you’re finding out, diarise it all. Dates, times, what he says, what you do in response (nothing), why you went outside etc. You don’t have to write an essay and your prose and spelling aren’t being marked. Just quick notes. Notes which are current are unbelievably useful in the event you want to formalise a complaint or something. If you never need them, I hope you don’t, all the better; but if you should end up needing them, you’ll have them.

The property register will for around £3.50 give you the title deeds and name of owner and address.
Are you in Scotland where landlords need to be registered with the council? I'm not sure if that applies in other UK countries or areas. Long overdue if not.
CCTV and sound
Document everything.
Anytime you feel in fear or alarm call the police, get an incident number. Police may not attend, but a number is a record. Diarise everything including what has happened in the past.
If he is elderly, call adult social services. Report. If it's an area where you can be sure he is registered with a local GP, write to the surgery with your concerns about his mental health.
Does he drive? Is he a safe driver or erratic, dangerous and concerning- the DVLA can take reports anonymous about drivers with possible medical conditions- you do not need to be an optician if you think his driving is dangerous.