Aibu giving ex key to my house?

[RunningOnCoffee6385]

I know I probably BU but just wanting opinions. Ex picks up kids from school when I'm at work once every other week (term time only and not if I'm on AL) usually I leave the key out. He's suggested having a key for ease. For some reason this has my guard up and caught me off guard it's been this way for over a year now. I don't have an issue him being in my home with the kids but I feel uncomfortable having a key out there. No bad blood or anything just feel uneasy.

Am I being silly? I have anxiety at the best of times and maybe I'm over thinking but my home is my safe space. Sorry I'm waffling.

Why doesn’t he take them out for tea until you get home, or take them to his own place?

Why is he taking them to your place?

Well it's really up to you

My ex still had a key for several years after to be honest. But I knew he wouldn't use it in any way he shouldn't!

Then he started being a shit so I took it back.

But there's nothing wrong with giving a key. But nothing wrong with carrying on as you are either. Up to you

He lives about 45mins away and they all have different finish times on the day he picks them up due to one attending club.

This is my worry we are decent terms now virtually no contact for the most part but I worry if it ever gets bad again

That doesn’t explain why he needs to take them back to your house?

I guess for ease to avoid multiple pick up trips I guess it's just something I agreed to at the time for ease for the kids after the split.

I mean even though my ex was being a shit I knew he wouldn't have abused having the key or anything to do with that to be honest. So he was trustworthy in that respect

But I just didn't like him having the key when he started being shitty with me again cos why should he so just took it off him

My ex had a key to my place, he'd sometimes pick DS up from creche and bring him back to my place. I was happy that DS wasn't stuck going to McDonalds with him, and his place was 40 mins away.

Relationship did break down when he got together with eventual wife, but it was nice while it lasted!

How about a key safe outside your house with a code for your ex to use. He puts it back afterwards and if you change your mind in the future you change the code or remove it. He doesn’t get to keep the key and if he accesses at other times the offer is withdrawn without having to get a key back from him. And saves a change of locks?
I get why it’s easier to use your house as a base. My DD comes home to mine daily and has her own key so ex H doesn’t need one.

If he really has to continue having access to your house, then what you been doing so far - putting the key under the mat - has been working just fine.

I don’t quite understand his idea of “having a key for ease”. Ease for who? Is it causing him great strain bending down once a fortnight to pick up the key from under the mat?

Then you change the locks.

Mums net is always so weird about stuff like this. Maybe the op doesn't want her kids traipsing around on the street for hours. Its been freezing cold where I am and raining there's nothing wrong with him having the children in the house if the op is ok with that. I don't think he needs a key personally though

I second the keysafe suggestion. Easy to stop access if and when you want without having to ask for the key back.

Instead of him having a key or leaving it out, can it not be in bag of child finishing first?

Keysafe. Combination or thumbprint door locks with kids.

How old are your kids? I had a house key from when I was 7.

I wouldn't want an ex having a key and 24/7 access to my home either.