Would you go to the same place partner went to with an ex?

[Bringbackmarsdelights]

Discussing with a friend her new relationship. She said she cancelled a date with her new boyfriend, as he had booked the same restaurant he had been to with a previous partner. She asked me if she was being daft. I had to admit I wouldn't like it if my boyfriend took me to places he had been with exes.

Are we being unreasonable? Would your DH or partner be happy going to places you've been before with exes? Or is it just an insecurity for some women? Just wanted to see other views on it!

This is so ridiculous.

This is exactly what I meant, I'd be very hurt x

I thought this was going to be about holiday destinations visited with an ex! I think it’s fair enough to perhaps not put those to the top of the travel list.

Your friend is being ridiculous here though.

Gosh of course.. how would you manage your life? I mean even going to the same town or City or supermarket you went to with an ex.. you can't possibly avoid it.
That's just plain stupid.

That was more my point, holiday destinations/hotels that sort of thing would bother me.

Restaurants not so much. But as another poster said atleast she made it clear to her new boyfriend what her expectations are. Whether it will last is another matter!

This

I wouldn't let it bother me with restaurants etc (although they're mostly closed now as been married 20 years!) I never really questioned it tbh. BUT DH got married the first time in New York and he wanted to go back but I refused to go with him. Don't think I'll ever want to tbh.

‘Her point was it would remind her partner of his exes,’

I don’t believe this is how most men think, really. They don’t think ‘oh let’s go to Bistro, that will remind me of Sandra’ , they think ‘you always get a good pizza at Bistro, Let’s go there on Monday.’ Unless they are heartbroken, they will have more or less forgotten Sandra….

I mean I think I’d suggest a different hotel if it was a holiday to the same place and it came up in conversation but restaurants wouldn’t bother me. I actually think it’s a bit batshit tbh.

Depends on all sorts of things. I was pissed off when my ex took his other woman to a place we often went together, but if he takes his new one there 20 years on, I couldn’t care less.

DH suggested a place when we hadn’t been together long, casually saying “it was nice when I went there with Kerry!” I was a bit iffy at the time, but now wouldn’t mind, I’ve been there with work and it was indeed lovely. After all this time I’m not worried that he’s pining away for Kerry, who I understand is very nice but wasn’t The One, but at that early stage wasn’t sure how the land lay. Pubs/restaurants in town I wouldn’t think twice about as it’s a small place and there aren’t that many options.

Restaurants are fine, i wouldn't start driving miles and miles for dinner just because they have been there with someone else!

Holidays though, myself and my husband ( 2nd marriage for us both) don't plan on going anywhere either of us have ever been before, just all new places from now on.

Maybe staying in the honeymoon suite where he stayed after marrying his ex would be too much.

But a restaurant... come on

This sounds bonkers, if a prospective date felt this way I'd run for the hills in all honesty. I don't live in a huge place, it rule a ton of places out. Crazy!

So you’d rule out going to an entire continent, because your boyfriend had already been there in a previous relationship?

we (Dh + 2DC) went on holiday last summer. DH said he’d been to destination with ex-fiancé before. When we got to the hotel it turns he booked the same one as he’d been to 10 years before with her. We had a good laugh about it & he even text his ex to tell her 😂