AIBU to put a stop to this?

[HadtoExclude]

Tempted to tell MIL!? AIBU my mother in law buys me gifts to the value of about £200 each birthday, which seems generous, but it’s usually clothes, of the wrong style, size or colour that I would never wear.
She asks me for a list every year, but never gets anything off the list. 🙃
Every year I get these gifts, have to pretend they are nice, hope the receipt is is there, hardly ever, and can’t even repurpose them to someone else as don’t know anyone else who would wear them.
AIBU to ask my husband to tell her that I’d rather have the cash or a gift card for a shop I go to like Zara.
I’m a busy mum with a full time job so short on time.
I’ve just been to the shops but didn’t have the receipt for a jacket (thought it was in there). They won’t exchange it for something else as no receipt so £45 down the drain.
The other has no receipt, wrong style, wrong size etc but no receipt and cost her £50.
I’ve now spent my lunchtime & petrol looking for something to exchange and the thing I got (so as not to waste the cash) has cost my £8.01 extra! Argh

Am I being unreasonable to ask her to stop? What would be a kind way that has worked for you? Argh 🙃

You can't tell her "to stop" since it's a gift so it would be hurtful. What you can do is tell your DH to talk to his mother and tell her that you prefer choosing clothes yourself because you need to try them on first. Some of her gifts didn't fit you and without receipt it's left in the closet because you can't use nor exchange. And tell her you would love a gift card to x shop you like or if she wants to choose then do take a receipt.

Can you sell them on Vinted/eBay and spend the money on something you want?

Bit of honesty won't go a miss here, tell her she gets the wrong sizes and although it's such a lovely gesture, a voucher would be better.

Thanks but am short of time and cba selling things for 1/10th of the price. I’ve got enough to do x

Have been thinking of doing this for years but she may use it as leverage that I’m hard to please. I’m practical and busy in my mind! Ha I’d prefer a bottle of wine, chocolates or flowers like most people, not something really specific to a certain taste 🤣

I'd be blunt. Tell her you can't wear what she's bought, the stuff gets donated, and to give you the receipt or not buy for you since she won't buy from the list you give her.

Are you sure she's not just getting this stuff from the thrift if she's never got receipts and it's always wrong?

Ask for a gift card!!!

Tell her that you have a problem with things fitting correctly, and ask her to either let you choose yourself having tried on for size, or if you could go shopping together for her clothes gifts to you.

Can you ask for something not clothes - tickets to an event you’d love to go to or like a craft class or something. Then there’s no ‘stuff’ to deal with

Great idea. Tried this but she got offended as she likes to go to the shops! Argh x

I send her a list every year and she never gets anything off the list! Argh x

Do it back to her?
Buy something she wouldn't ever wear, 2 sizes too small in a revolting colour. Don't give her the receipt.

She's being ridiculous. If she wants to keep on buying you clothes can she please provide at least a gift receipt in the event the item doesn't fit. She's not nicking them is she?!

How frustrating for you. I wouldn’t be as blunt as others have suggested but either speak to her yourself or get your husband to, depending on your relationship with her generally, and say that you are so appreciative of her generosity but sometimes clothes haven’t been the right size for you which is a real shame, so it would be great to have a gift receipt with anything she buys you so you can exchange it for a different size if needed (she doesn’t need to know you might exchange for different clothes entirely). Or if it’s easier for her you’d absolutely be happy with a voucher for Zara, which is your favourite clothes shop and you’d particularly appreciate clothing gifts from there. You’d also be really happy to do a shopping trip with her to have a look at clothes you might like “so the size is right”.

It sounds like she probably won’t go for a voucher though as she likes to go to the shops to buy presents, and probably also to have something “physical” to give you as with lots of people of that generation and I actually get that in a way. So I’d ask her for something she is realistically going to be able to easily offer. I never used to include gift receipts with presents when I was younger as I was a bit disorganised and didn’t really get their importance, but I am careful to now. It’s easy to do if you plan to give all gifts with a gift receipt.

Is it always clothes? Could you send a list with clothes on it that you actually want (including shops/sizes)?

Tell her you hate the thought of her wasting large sums of money on clothes you can't wear because they're the wrong size or just don't suit you. Ask her if she would like to have a day out shopping and lunch instead so you can choose a style and size that suits you.

Ha ha 🤣 never thought of that! If so she could have nicked something better!! 😉